We got back to the hotel. As we walked down the hallway I stopped at my room.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked me.
"To my room?" I looked away from him at the lock of the door. I don't even know why I keep getting my own room since I stay in Harry's every night but luckily for tonight I do.
"Oh I'll just go put my things back and be in in a minute."
"I want to be alone." I said softly.
"Rowan-"
"Harry please." I looked to him as his facial expression changed into a frown and walking into my room and closing the door behind me.
I sat in my room alone. I was confused how Harry was so calm and acting like everything was fine. I was expecting him to push away and want me to leave or at least be mad.
Grayson and I's fights were nothing like this. It always ended in yelling back and forth with a lot of anger. One of us would leave and we wouldn't talk to each other for a long time.
Somehow anytime we would fought it would end up being my fault. All of his cheating and lying was always somehow turned to be on me.
Harry stayed so calm through it all and was actually trying to make things better not just yell at me and blame things on me. Even though this was all me. He wanted to fix it not keep arguing over and over. He even kissed me and wanted to hang out with me still.
A knock at the door distracted by thought.
"Hey. We need to talk. You can't just ignore your feelings and push me away." Harry quickly told me.
I bit the inside of my lip nervously about what was about to happen and followed him to his room.
"How are you acting like nothing happened earlier?" I asked as we entered Harry's room.
"You said it's in the past and if that's what you say then I'm fine. It's good everything's good Ro." He sat on the bed and motioned for me to come sit next to him.
"I don't feel like it is." I paced around the room.
"Why?" He was so calm and my mind was going a million directions.
"I don't know. How can you be so calm and caring? After everything I told you. You're just fine with it."
"Yes Rowan. I don't care about him or any other ex. I overreacted and got jealous, I was wrong. I have ex's too and I get it. It's all good. Ro I like you. I want to be with you. We can put everything in the past." He still had the same calmness in his voice.
"But we had a fight and aren't you mad at me?"
"Rowan no I'm not mad." He got up and stood in front of me to stop my pacing and make me look at him.
"But-" I began before he cut me off. "Ro you say you don't want anything to do with him anymore and I believe you. He obviously wasn't a good guy. He lied and manipulated you. He made you feel things you should never have to feel. I don't care that you just broke up or any of that. None of that matters. All the matters is that you're here with me."
"How can you forgive me though don't you want me to go home?" He looked at me with so much sorrow.
"Rowan no not at all, that's" He cut himself off and held me. We stayed like that for a few minutes.
"Ro relationships are about forgiveness. People fight but that doesn't mean I'm going to hate you." He paused squeezing me tighter. "Oh Ro, now I get it."
"Get what?"
"You love so hard and haven't ever felt it back and now you're starting to feel it and are pushing away. Ro, you're not losing me okay. I'm not letting you push away."
I cried in his arms. No one has ever made me feel loved like this.
