I had my bags packed and tried to hold every emotion I was feeling inside.
I felt numb knowing all of the sadness that will fill my body in the weeks to come. I still have doubts of how this will all work out, but I really hope it does.
I sat in his living room with an expressionless face dreading leaving. I want to curl up into a ball next to Harry and never move. Harry came and sat beside me kissing the top of my head and pulling me as close as he could to him.
"I don't wanna go." I broke down burying my face his Harry's chest. He kissed my forehead again and rubbed his hands up and down my back.
"I know baby." He paused holding me tight. "Think of all the good things though, you're going to get to see all of your friends and move into your apartment. It's gonna be good Ro." He said comforting me thinking of the positives that will come from this.
"Nothings good without you there, I already learned that." I mumbled into his chest.
"It's going to be hard, I know baby. But we just gotta look at the good things." He encouraged me.
"You're right. You promise to facetime every day." I looked up as he wiped my tears falling down my cheeks.
"Everyday." He kissed my forehead. "And get you plane tickets every break you have. When's fall break?"
"October 9-12 I think."
"A little over a month, that's nothing. It'll fly by."
"Thank you, for everything, seriously. You're the best and I love you."
"And you're the cutest. Now whip those tears and put that smile on your face." He wiped my tears and I put on a fake sarcastic smile which made him smile which made me smile.
"We still have a few more hours what do you wanna do?"
"Can we just lay here at watch a movie or something?" All I wanted to do was be curled in his arms and savor the feeling.
We laid on Harry's couch while watching some random movie neither of us were paying attention to. I laid on Harry's chest and we hugged each other as close as physically possible leaving random little kisses on each other until it was time for me to leave.
We decided it was best to say our goodbyes at Harry's home to avoid any paparazzi or fans that would make it even harder.
The driver arrived and we slowly sat up and Harry immediately rewrapped his arms around me.
Harry went and grabbed my bags while I gathered my last few things and loaded them into the car.
"Baby don't cry." He said almost in tears himself.
"Says you." I laughed through my tears.
"One month is nothing right?" He continues to try and put some hope into me.
"Right." I lied
"I love you Rowan, so much." He captured my lips savoring the feeling.
"I love you too Harry. Goodbye." I rambled out quickly pulling out of our hug and getting right into the car knowing it'd be easier to just get it over with. I couldn't bare to drag it out any longer.
"It's not goodbye, it's see you later." Harry blew a kiss to me from the car.
"Why do you always say the cheesiest thing you can think of?"
"Because it makes you smile."
We held eye contact as long as we could as the car drove away waving and waving until he was out of site.
I boarded the plane and remembered all of our memories together, never wanting a single one to leave my mind.
When we first met. I can't believe that led to this. I couldn't be more happy.
When he asked me to be his girlfriend in the cheesiest way possible.
All our little dates all over the country.
All the hotel beds we slept in together.
All the long bus ride naps.
All the crazy shows he put on every night.
All the laughs we had together.
And all the memories we made.
I don't know how I am going to live without seeing Harry everyday. We've been by each other's sides since we met.
I'm dreading not getting to cuddle with him all night and wake up next to him, hanging out all day without a care in the world, watching him get ready and perform every night.
But I promised Harry I'd be strong and have fun with my friends and I made him promise the same.
One month will be nothing he says and I'm trying to convince myself to believe that.
I will have so much school work, that will help keep me distracted.
I'll go out with my friends and do all the crazy things we do together.
It will fly by.
My parents and Charli picked me up from the airport. They were much more excited to see me than I was to see them. Of course I was happy to see them but I already miss Harry so much and would do anything to go back and hug him one more time.
"Rowan were so happy to see you." My mom said and they all hugged me.
"I'm happy to see you guys too." I put on a smile.
We went out for lunch at my favorite cafe. The smell immediately brought me back to my childhood and coming here at least once a week in the summer. It made me happy to be back home and with my family and go to a place I've missed so much.
But I wished Harry was here too, to show him this special place.
Charli made me fill her in on every detail of what's been happening between us. I missed out sister talks.
Rowan
made it home miss you
tons already H!
Harry
I miss you too my love
Call me tonight!
