The Foster Wife (Book 1) Foster The People Fan Fiction

Chapter 38

Adrianne
I am scared
I am frightened
I am lost
I am broken
I don't know who I am
I only know one person from this broken memory of mine, when all is forgotten only his face linger on. When he is not around I am scared, This is a very strange world for me I am not even comfortable watching this woman who cries in front of me telling me she's my mother.
I want to run, I want to hide I am like an empty canvass but so many holes in it that you can't write, draw or paint anymore on it.
The door opens and I see another strange face again. Mark he said his name is Mark...my.. Husband. I flinched on the thought of it.
"Hi." He said reluctantly. Smiling, but even with an empty memory I know that smile is not genuine.
I did not respond. I felt guilty for being cold to him knowing I know him before this happened.
My mother stands up embracing him rubbing his back and without words my mother exits the room. Maybe giving us some privacy perhaps?
"She says I am your wife?" I asked bluntly. Looking for answers in his eyes.
He just nods. I am looking at him, God he is beautiful those eyes telling me he does really loves me, maybe the person before me loves him too. Maybe they became a beautiful couple before I stood up between them, I secretly laugh inside thinking its a stupid thought.
"Cubbi wants to see you, he is your friend. Er. More like a brother."
"You don't have to do that.. You know being careful with me around.." I said reluctantly.
The Doctor said my condition is unknown to them since I am the first to try the Miracle Serum that erased my cancer cells as well as my memory, the reason I only remember one person is unknown too. I remember Pontius, Mark Pontius but its very vague and very shallow, I know his name, his face.. Its like I have an 'idea' of him, Pontius is like a dot in my spotless but tattered canvass.
The man sitting down in front of me looking at me, no searching for her the Old Adrianne before me. I felt guilty this guy doesn't deserve all the hurting after everything my mother told me about he doesn't deserve any of this.
"We didn't even have sex."
Its a fact not a question, but I am guessing. I may have an empty memory but it doesn't mean I have an empty brain and an zero instincts.
He's face went pale. I laughed.
"I know, its because you are too careful with me around you treat me like a delicate porcelain doll, people who had sex doesn't act like that."
"Wow." He said hands up in the air. "Maybe that trait is innate and no amount of Cancer Serum will erase it from you. You know that Psych thing" he added.
"Where is Ponsi?" I don't know why I have to ask stupid question in the wrong time? Remind me to slap myself next time.
His face fell. Damn you Adrianne or whoever the hell you are.
"Sorry." I muttered.Trying to sound apologetic as I can. He smiled timidly. I will never enter Thy Kingdom Come for this. I will be damned. For sure.
"You will be discharged tomorrow right?" Its not a question, its an escape, trying to change the subject or like trying to fix something that can't be fixed.
I want to say more but I nod instead. The Gates of hell is sure... Widely opened for me.

~~~~~~~

Its almost a month from the day I was discharged from the hospital. I refused to take visitors only me and my mother. I just want to have some time for myself to cope up with this. Its just too much for me.
Finally my mother grew tired of bugging me to go out and she stepped out of my way as I pretend that I am okay snd I just want to have some 'me time'...
My memory is also almost one month old, a twenty six years old woman with a month old memory, damn I am lucky. I am in my apartment right now my old me's place trying to know myself more.
Damn I am such a boring person I realized. Twenty Six year old, married at eighteen yet still a virgin. I flinched. Suddenly disgusted with my thoughts. I sigh am I really doing this? My body wants to go somewhere my dysfunctional brain flashed a whole ago. I don't know the name of the place but my instincts are telling me its okay they know. Fuck it grabbing my keys, or I assumed my keys. Whatever.
I drove to an old building, its kind of abandoned and creepy looking. Okay I maybe not that boring. I walked at the stairs not particularly looking at anything I just go where my feet are dragging me until I reached the roof top. Okay that's the reason why man invented the elevator I thought panting as sweat trickles my forehead.
Wow. As I finally take a look at the view before me. Reminds me to scavenge more at my garbage brain for memories as beautiful as this. I can see all of LA from up here. I smile gulping some fresh polluted air in my lungs when somebody talks at my back.
"Its so funny I see you going here."
I instantly turned where the voice is coming from.
"P?"
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