little lies (an e.d. fanfiction)

✭ chapter 38

song for chapter: we lied to each other by olivia o'brien + play on repeat!!

claire's pov

my eyes crack open from my deep slumber and i find myself not waking up in my own bed. i feel the tight grasp of a warm body holding onto me from behind.

i instantly sit right up, causing his arms to fall from my waist. i look over to see ethan's eyes flutter open from my sudden movement.

"what the fuck?" i say, confused on why i'm still here.

i spent the night?

my heart automatically stops as i start to remember the previous events.

oh god.

i feel myself start to panic, feeling so stupid for just giving myself up to him like that.

"good morning," ethan says in a groggy voice, still laying down.

ethan was shirtless underneath the sheets and i notice that the only thing i was wearing was a thong and one of his t-shirts. i don't even remember changing into his shirt.

"shit," i say as i grab my phone from off of his nightstand, looking at the large amount of notifications on my lock screen.

13 messages from jade.

4 missed calls from hannah.

6 messages from lily.

5 messages from hannah, lily, maddie, and skylar.

i look at all of the notifications and i automatically open the group chat.

9:04 a.m.
maddie: hey are u awake yet???

9:47 a.m.
lily: claire we're worried abt u.

10:01 a.m.
hannah: plz tell us ur okay

10:05 a.m.
skylar: ^^!!

10:11 a.m.
lily: j text us whenever you're up

"holy shit," i say looking at my phone screen in disbelief. i feel ethan rub his hand on my back and i flinch at his touch, then turn to face him.

his eyebrows knit together, not understanding why i'm acting so tense. after all, i was acting like a completely different person yesterday.

"i- i'm sorry for last night," i said, feeling awkward and embarrassed. i was the one who initiated everything. if it wasn't for me, none of this would even be happening right now.

he shakes his head rapidly in response, "no, it's completely fine. we were both just really fucked up."

i feel my eyes start to water and i bury my face into my hands. i can't believe i lost my virginity when i wasn't even sober, and to someone who's of legal age.

"hey," ethan says, grabbing onto my arm. i don't say anything, instead i just let out a muffled sniffle and try my best to not let him see me crying.

"claire, look at me," i slowly lift my head up and wipe my watery eyes. once i do, i make direct eye contact with him, "i'm sorry," he whispers softly.