My Labs Story

Forty

Athena

Matagal talaga mag-move on especially if I still have feelings for him. I know, I should stop nagiging tanga lang ako. Its been months, malapit na nga mag 1 year but I can't forget him, his love, his betrayal. He ruin me and the future we plan together was nowhere to be seen. Di ako makapaniwala na ginamit niya lang ako, na tama lahat ng nakapaligid sa akin, he loves me for my money. Dati napapanood ko lang sa movies now im living and experiencing it.

Nakakapagod umiyak araw araw sa taong wala naman talagang pakialam sa akin o sa nararamdaman ko at tanging pera lang ang iniisip. Its funny that despite of what happen di ako sobrang galit sa kanya kasi I know for a fact its all my fault. Ngayon lang ako naging ganito ka-baliw. To tell you the truth with my other ex lovers, hindi ko ginawa ang ganito, kaya napapaisip tuloy ako kung alam ko bang magmahal. Dahil sukdulan talaga ang ginawa ko para sa'yo, minahal kita higit pa sa sarili ko pero di ko pala dapat ginawa yun.

Hindi ganun ang love.

The loud knocking on the door made me come to my senses.

"Anak can I come in?"

Si Mama pala bakit kaya?

"Yes Ma the door is open."

She opened the door and went in. Alam ko na ito, the usual sermon ang gagawin niya.

"Athena how long are you planning on living your life like this? Its been months for goodness sake! We have so much plan for you and your future. Wag mo namang sayangin ang lahat na ginawa namin para mapalaki ka ng maayos. Hindi lang siya ang lalaking makikilala mo, may iba pa diyan na handa kang mahalin at alagaan hanggang pagtanda. Nasaan na yung Athena na matapang, palaban, matalino.
Anak! Please fix yourself, your life kasi hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon kasama mo kami, baka pagising mo bukas wala na kami. We just want you to have a better life, a nice family like us. We want you to be secured, life is short don't dwell on things that will make you sad or bring more stress to yourself kasi you are worth more than you think. You are special in your own way, that guy its his lost because he didn't see my daughter for who she is."

Natouch ako sa mga sinabi ni Mama, ibang iba sa mga usual niyang panenermon. Siguro napagod na sila sa akin.

"Kung ipagpapatuloy mo ang ganito tandaan mong hindi lang ikaw ang nahihirapan dahil maraming nag-aalala sa iyo. Meron diyan halos araw araw kang binibisita at kinakausap."

I know, he has been there since I decided to become selfish. I took for granted yung kabaitan niya. He went with my plan of pretending to be a couple. He help and stayed with me sa mga oras na gusto ko ng mag-give up. Oo may nararamdaman ako sa kanya but I'm still not sure if I could give him the love that he deserves. I dont want to be unfair with him.

Palabas na si Mama ng may sabihin pa siya.

"Be strong. No one can help but yourself. Try loving yourself first it might help you to move on and to forget what happen. Just think of it as a bad dream."

She's right maybe yun nga ang kailangan ko, mahalin ko muna ang sarili ko bago ako magmahal ng iba. Hindi na ako magmamadali, bakit bata pa naman ako ah.

I need to get back on my feet.
I am a successful, powerful and beautiful woman.

Nag-ayos ako ng sarili ko, ready to get back on the real world.

"Athena where are you going? Bihis na bihis ka pa."

"Ma tama ka I need to love and take care of myself first bago ang iba. Kaya naisip kong ibalik ang dating Athena na kilala niyo with a few adjustments, Athena 2.0, a better version."