Nia and Alex - Eating Disorder

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***Trigger Warning - Discussion of Eating Disorders***



"Don't talk to strangers! Keep your mask on!" Alex called after her sister.

"Yes Mom," Kara replied sarcastically, shutting the door behind her. She was leaving to go get groceries for the first time since quarantine began, leaving Alex and Nia home by themselves for a couple hours.

"Nia!" Alex called, "Coast is clear!"

"Hell yes," Nia yelled, running into the living room. The two of them had been planning this horror movie marathon for weeks but couldn't do it with Kara home because she got too scared, so this was the perfect time.

"You get the popcorn, I'll grab Chucky," said Alex.

"Great," Nia replied, heading towards the kitchen. "The DVD should be in the closet with the rest of my things."

"Got it." Alex made her way across the room. Lofts don't exactly have guest rooms, so she was sharing Kara's room while Nia got the couch. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than spending quarantine alone. Alex opened the closet door and quickly found Nia's DVD collection, grabbing Chucky off the top shelf. Before walking away she bent down to pick up the jacket that seemed to have fallen from its hanger. Alex quickly recoiled in surprise when she saw what was underneath the clothing. It was an old slice of pizza that had developed a thick layer of dust and mold, leaving behind grease stains on the fabric. Why was this here?

"On second thought, what about the Shining? I'm sort of feeling some-" Nia's words caught in her throat as she rounded the corner and saw Alex's discovery.

"Nia... what is this?" Alex asked cautiously.

"I.. I must have dropped it," Nia stammered. "It's nothing, I'll clean it up." She ran off towards the kitchen to grab some paper towels. Alex calmly stood up and closed the closet door before following her. This definitely wasn't the first time she'd noticed something like this.

"Nia," she said quietly, "Please come back." After some hesitation, Nia nervously made her way over to the couch where Alex sat. "What really happened?"

"I told you, I must have dropped it. God I'm such a klutz."

"Nia, I don't think that's true," Alex said slowly.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I think... maybe you were hiding it on purpose," Alex said. She was terrified of upsetting Nia, but even more terrified of what would happen if she ignored this.

Nia stopped abruptly, her confident facade shattering. She was quiet for a few moments before finally speaking. "How did you know?" she whispered.

Now Alex was the speechless one. She seemed to disappear into her thoughts for a moment before answering. "Because I used to do it too."

"You....you did?" Nia said in disbelief. "Why?"

"Well.." Alex began, taking a deep breath. "Let's just say it's hard enough being a teenager, and even harder when you're the sister of someone incapable of gaining weight. Kara and I could eat the exact same things, and yet she always looked perfect while I... didn't."

"But you couldn't control that, I mean, she's an alien."

"And I know that... now. But back then I didn't, I had an eating disorder. And judging by the way you've been acting lately, and now this, I'm guessing you do too. Am I too far off?"

"You're right." Nia said reluctantly. "At least, I think so."

"Can you tell me how all this started?" Alex asked sympathetically.

"Um..." Nia began. "I guess it was when I was in high school. I was bullied a lot for being trans, and that just made me overthink everything about my body. I guess I just wanted to look... perfect, I thought that would fix things. It just sort of became a habit, but... it's gotten worse lately." She stopped to catch her breath and collect herself.

"That makes sense." Alex nodded. "Honestly I'd be surprised if you didn't have that problem. People can really suck sometimes."

"Tell me about it. I should have fixed it by now though, I know better than this."

"But that's not you," Alex said. "That's the thing about eating disorders, it's not really you."

"What do you mean?" Nia asked.

"Okay think of it this way," Alex explained. "It's sort of like you have two brains, the eating disorder one, and your own. The disorder tells you one thing, while your own brain tells you something else. You think you need to avoid food, but you also know that that's bad. Sometimes it's hard to listen to one or the other, and it really feels like crap because no matter what you do, something inside you says you're wrong."

"Wait, that actually makes a lot of sense." Nia replied. "I've always thought that this was just a habit and I could stop it if I wanted to, but that explains a lot."

"Right?" Alex laughed. "I just about lost it when a therapist told me that, it was as if everything in the world suddenly made sense."

"So... what did you do? How did you finally make it stop?"

"It took a long time, I'm not gonna lie. I still have those thoughts sometimes, but talking it through with someone and having people to support me really helped. My family made sure to hold me accountable and make sure I didn't fall back into old habits. Kara even went on a diet with me, and it's not like she could benefit from it, she just did it so that I wouldn't feel so alone."

"Wow. That's actually really sweet," Nia said. "Do you think there's hope for me too?"

"Definitely, if you're willing to talk to us. We're all here for you, always. We're going to get you better, together."

"You have no idea how much that means to me, seriously."

"You're family, Nia, family sticks together," said Alex.

"El Mayarah," Nia added.

"Exactly. Now... Chucky or the Shining?" Alex asked, pulling a blanket over both of their laps.

"Why not both?" Nia said with a smile.

"Sounds perfect."


This was based on a request from a while ago, it took me a while to decide how to go about it. This is an issue that has affected people close to me so I wanted to make sure I did it justice. If you've experienced this yourself, please know that there is always hope. 

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