Jily one shots

Justifications for James

Disclaimer: I don't own this but @BumbledBee on FanFiction.Net does x

I accepted the date on the basis that I would witness him being inexcusably rude to the waiter, thus ending my trifling affections for him once and for all.

James Potter was rude to waiters.

Of that I was absolutely certain.

How could one person make my stomach clench, my heart flutter, and my nerves stand on end all at once? Just by sitting next to me, his warmth, his laugh, his gaze sent my heart palpitating and all of a sudden I'd be praying to Merlin that the darned organ didn't suddenly leap out of my throat altogether.

So you can understand, you can appreciate, why I am wholly convinced that he is rude to the poor service staff just trying to earn a living. One human should not be able to inflict such maladies on another. It is unnatural, unseemly and utterly obscene. And at long last I have found a cure to this affliction. Praise the heavens!

You may question my logic, you may say that poor Lily Evans has lost her marbles once and for all, but I shan't waver. I shan't!

James Potter is a rude, condescending, little swine who is not worthy of my feelings, let alone thoughts.

Take that Mr Heart Flutterer. What are you going to do with your stomach clenching now? Huh? HUH?

You know what? I am positively excited about this date. This date will prove once and for all that these bodily malfunctions I've been experiencing are utterly unfounded. There will be no more fanciful daydreams, no more embarrassingly longing gazes, and Alice will certainly not feel the need to point out that I mentioned him twice in two separate conversations within the space of thirty seconds.

Good riddance to you, James Potter! Good riddance, I say!

You can come at me with your dates. You can come at me with your twinkling eyes, your cheeky grin, and "alright Lily?"s, but I will remain unfazed! Unfazed and unimpressed!

Huzzah!

"Why do you look like you're preparing yourself for battle?" Alice's voice cut through my gleeful thoughts.

"Huh?" I replied, still lost in my idyllic dreams where the name James Potter meant nothing to me.

"Why do you look like you're psyching yourself up for a battle, or something?" Alice repeated with a somewhat retired look on her face, as if she'd almost rather not know.

"James Potter is a sod!" I announced proudly, puffing out my chest. "A worthless sod who badmouths waiters and treats them like the dirt underneath his stinky shoes."

"Really?" Alice asked, disbelievingly. "I was in the kitchens with him one time, and he seemed pretty friendly with the House Elves."

"A façade, my dear Alice!" I proclaimed loudly, with a dismissive wave of my arm. "Do try not to be fooled by his blatant lies."

"What's gotten into you?" Alice questioned, looking marginally worried. "What happened to the Lily who was prancing wildly around the dorm doing leaps and crumping violently after being asked on a date?"

"You swore never to mention that again." I hissed at her, pointing an accusing finger at her nose.

She swotted my hand away lazily, "Lily, you let out a rogue crump every time you get an O in Transfiguration, it was hardly unexpected that you would let it rip after the object of your affections finally asked you out."

"Momentary lapse in sanity." I retorted, sticking my nose in the air.

"So did he call it off or do something equally stupid then?" Alice redirected the conversation.