Jily one shots

snitch on your thigh

a Siriusly Klutzy story.

I was asleep, naturally, as that is what most people do at night. Well, I guess technically it wasn't really night. More so early morning. Either way, visions of sugar plums were dancing in my head. And I wanted to leave them there.

Whomp.

Oi.

I rolled over.

"Wake up you lazy lump!" Alice yelled after successfully smacking me with a pillow again. I grumbled. "It's Christmas! Get out of bed!"

I jumped up. I guess it wasn't just irony that there were sugar plums in my dreams. It's Christmas!

"Come on! Marlene is already down there and she's threatened to steal your stocking if you don't get your lazy ass out of bed!"

"My stocking?" I asked. Alice nodded quickly and threw me my slippers. "But it's my stocking!"

"Not if you don't get down there in the next minute, it's not!" Alice said. She grabbed my blanket and pushed me out the door.

When we got down to the Common Room, everyone who stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays was there, mostly fourth year and up since the little imps couldn't last that long without seeing their parents, poor dears. Marlene was on one of the bigger couches, tearing apart her presents; wrapping paper surrounding her.

Alice and I ran over to our own healthy sized piles and grabbed the first one off the top.

I tore away at the silver wrapping paper and laughed when I pulled out three socks. Mismatched. One was scarlet with gold stars, one was gold with scarlet stars, and the other had gold and scarlet stripes. In a way they matched, I suppose. There was also another charm for my bracelet. Antlers?

"Alice," I said, laughing. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she replied, laughing as she pulled out a huge pair of pink earmuffs and gloves to match. Her sister bought them.

I looked over to grab my next present, when a glorious sight caught my eye.

"Lily? Lily are you all right?" I snapped back to reality when Alice started poking me in the arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, repressing a giggle.

It was James. He was coming down from his room in a Gryffindor t-shirt and quidditch pajama pants.

I never thought that I'd see pajama pants that look that good on someone. Ever.

"Lily? Lils? Earth to Lily," a small hand, identified as Alice's, was waving in front of my face. "What are you- ohhh." She followed my gaze.

"Look at those pants!" I said, pointing to the Quidditch pants, adorned with snitches, quaffles, bludgers, and broomsticks.

Alice looked down at his pants, uninterested. "What about them?"

Honestly, how could she not see that? "What do you mean 'what about them'? Look how they accentuate his nice thighs!"

She snorted, actually snorted, after I said that. "Lily, they're baggy pajama pants!"

"They're the sexiest pants I've ever seen. Look at the nice shape they give to his legs!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Has it ever occurred to you that he just has nicely shaped legs?"

Well, duh. The pants just help.

We watched James and the rest of the Marauders roam sleepily over to the huge tree, by their own, conveniently placed next to each other, pile of presents.

James knelt down in between Sirius and Remus, and reached for the top of his pile.

I grabbed Alice, who was in mid-open, and shook her arm. "Look at that snitch!" I whispered, pointing to his knee. "That one, right there. The one just above his right knee."

Alice squinted and stuck her head out to try and get a better look. "Don't make it so obvious that you're looking!"

"I'm sorry but you're having me look for a single snitch on a pair of pants that are covered in them. It's rather difficult!"

"Well, try and look more subtly!" I directed her to look at that one snitch in particular.

"The one on his thigh?" Alice asked, squinting again. She looked at me and I nodded, biting my lip. "What about it?"

"That," I began, "is the sexiest snitch I've ever seen in my life."

Alice doubled over in laughter. Hmph.

Once she caught her breath and could look at me seriously, which took some effort, she said, "There are snitches all over those pants, along with quaffles and brooms. What makes that snitch in particular any different?"

I crossed my arms. "If you'd look at it properly, you'd be able to see the difference." Honestly.

She laughed at me and continued making her way through her presents.

I tore my eyes from the lovely sight of James and his pants and continued going through my pile. My parents sent me a picture frame and some of Mum's amazing chocolate chip cookies. Petunia sent a box of Q-Tips. And to think, I bought her that necklace.

I almost bought James a shirt, I was so close. There was one in one of the shops in Hogsmade. It was a dark blue with a small broomstick stitched onto the bottom right corner on the front. Alice caught me looking before I could buy it, so I didn't.

Thunk!

All heads spun over to the side of the tree which the Marauders had commandeered. Sirius was laughing loudly and Remus was standing in a stance that gave off the impression that he just hit someone with a pillow. I'm taking it that said person was James because he was lying on the floor, his legs in the sexy pants on top of a present or two.

"God, Moony," James grumbled, getting up. "When the hell did you get so lethal with a pillow?"

"When you started talking back and forth to yourself about whether or not you should do it," Remus said. In his left hand, he was holding a bar of chocolate making his stance a bit less threatening, but not much.

I looked at Alice with my eyebrows raised.

"You're a Gryffindor," Sirius added. We turned back to watch. Subtly of course. "And if bravery doesn't work, just think how much your pants will turn her on." He winked.

Alice started laughing next to me. I smothered a pillow over her so that she wasn't heard and, blushing, turned back to my pile of presents.

I managed to not listen to the bickering going on between the three boys and I got through about four more presents before I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I spun around to be face to knee with James Potter and his sexy pants. Slowly, I looked up.

"Um, Lily," James said.

My only thoughts were Don't you dare pass out. If you pass out then you'll look like a fool and it will cut your staring at his pants time short. I repeat: Do not pass out.

"Hi," I said, dragging the word on for hours. Well, you know what I mean. I sounded like a lovesick seven year old. Not an insane sixteen year old.

Oi.

"I got you something," he said, shifting uneasily from one foot to the other.

At least I knew that I could make James Potter nervous. Too bad he has the same effect on me. Especially in those damn pants.

He handed me a small box wrapped in purple paper. I took it hesitantly, hoping that nothing would spring out at me. With one eye closed, I opened the box.

Inside was a necklace with a little tiger lily on it. Alice "Awwweedd" next to me. I elbowed her in the rib.

Just as I was about to thank him, I caught sight of his pants.

"I really like your pants," I said instead of the "Thank you" that was supposed to come out. He grinned.

Oi.