Alexandra Dursley {Golden Trio}

Chapter 104 - The Burden of Love

Ooh enjoy this one!! :)

 The next day, Al found herself heading up from lunch to the Charms classroom, where Dumbledore awaited her. She walked in and was surprised to see that all the desks had been pushed to the sides to make room for whatever lesson they had planned for today. Dumbledore stood in the centre with his hands clasped in front of him, smiling calmly as she walked in. "Good afternoon, Al," Dumbledore said, "I hope you're feeling better after yesterday?"

 It took her a minute to figure out what he meant, but then she remembered her fainting episode at Slughorn's party. "Oh...er...yeah. Much better thanks," Al said, feeling embarrassed.

 Dumbledore seemed to understand this. "Loss and guilt are nothing to feel ashamed of, Al," he said warmly, "They are part of what make us human."

 "How did you-?" Al began, but then remembered the legillimency. He must've read Slughorn's memories. "Oh."

 "Now," Dumbledore said, moving his arms to his sides, "I want you to know that you may leave here at any point if you do not wish to continue. But I think it will be very useful to you, and I believe it's essential that you master this particular skill."

 "OK..." Al said, wondering what on earth they'd be learning about.

 "I want you to be able to control your soul power," Dumbledore said simply, watching for her reaction. Al was surprised at this, and had to think for a moment. It was only a year ago that she had said she didn't want to control it, after all. But after what happened this summer...after Sirius...if she'd had better control she could've saved him - maybe even Cedric too. How many more deaths would she be able to prevent? She could protect George, and Remus, and Harry. And when Dumbledore died too, that would leave only her and Harry and the rest of the Order to face Voldemort.

 "I want to," Al said quietly, then louder, "Yeah, let's do it."

 Dumbledore smiled warmly. "Excellent, " he said, "First of all, I want you to think of someone you love. Hold them deep in your mind...close your eyes if you need to...and then guide your power along your arm and through your wand." Al did as she was told, and thought only about Harry. About all the times they'd played together in secret, and when they'd got to spend so much time in fourth year with him. "That's it..." came Dumbledore's encouraging voice, and Al opened her eyes to see a bright, white glow coming from the end of her outstretched wand.

 The glow faded and Al frowned. "Is that it?" she asked.

 "Who did you think of?" Dumbledore asked her calmly.

 "Harry," Al said, "And when we were kids, and during the tournament fourth year."

 "Why don't you try how you felt towards him in the graveyard?" Dumbledore suggested. "Or when you saw Sirius die?"

 Al's stomach suddenly dived down and she was acutely aware of her heart thundering in her chest. "I don't want to...why would I...?"

 "You have lost so much, Al," Dumbledore said, perching on a desk at the side of the room, "And you have suffered because of it. But the pain you feel, is fuelled by the love that you hold for the people around you. Anger that they're gone is natural, as much as it is towards the people that took them. But it is important that you learn not to let hate, or fear guide you. Love is ruthless, and painful and often dispels happiness as much as it creates it. That is what makes it so powerful."

 Al thought for a moment about what he had just said, soaking in every word, before setting her jaw into a determined lock. "Let's go again," Al said. Dumbledore nodded, indicated for her to go. She remembered how tight Harry's grip on her wrist had been against the headstone. How breathless she had been, fearing for his life as much as her own. The relief she'd felt when the portkey had taken him away.

 Al could feel her eyes tingling with tears, but pushed her focus back to Harry. And then to Sirius. The laughter that had been etched on his face when he fell. Backwards, almost floating, it looked so graceful and effortless. How that had given her the strength to push Lucius Malfoy away, to run forward after him. And suddenly she understood what Dumbledore meant.

 Al opened her eyes, and there before her was a great curling spiral of white fire, almost blinding. She guided it around the room with her wand, but also somehow her emotions too. She saw Dumbledore step forward, astonished by it, with an unashamed wonder printed onto his face. She guided it to wrap around him, and it did, but it did not harm him.

 She formed a stairway, and stepped up until she could touch the ceiling. And then Al leaped down and was caught by a swing of fire that did not burn and stopped her slipping down to the ground. She landed gracefully and saw Dumbledore's amused face. The fire now filled the room like water, shining brightly into every corner and crevice until it dimmed away, drawn back into Al's wand as she willed it to.

 "That was..." Dumbledore said, for once at a loss for words, "It was magnificent. Does is burn? It didn't feel particularly hot."

 "No, I don't think so," Al admitted, "It works more like a rope, I think."

 "Well," Dumbledore said, highly impressed, "I think that will do for today. Shall we meet at the same time next week?"

 "Sounds good, Sir," and Al pocketed her wand and left the room, deciding to head to the library and read a book before dinner, and then she could do her magical theory homework after that. Al had found that she'd been quiet isolated at Hogwarts recently. Daphne and Theo spent a lot of time alone together, which was understandable. She hadn't really noticed it before, because she'd had Draco and George. But now George was gone and Draco kept disappearing, so she found herself quite alone.

 Al was pulled from her musing when she almost walked into Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were sat around an alcove in a stairway. The sun shone through, and they all looked quite comfy. Hermione had a book in her lap, and Harry and Ron were just sat there. All three of them looked up as she approached. "Al," Hermione said brightly as she approached. "How are you?"

 "Fine, thanks," she said, stopping as she reached them, "How are you guys?"

 There were a few murmurs of yeah and OK, before Hermione spoke again. "Why don't you sit with us?" she suggested, closing her book, "We were just talking about how popular the Duelling Club is now."

 Al hesitantly obliged, ignoring Ron's confused face that obviously said they hadn't been talking about the Duelling Club at all. "Yeah, I know," Al said, mainly to Hermione, who listened with unnecessary interest, "It's crazy. You guys are all coming to the advanced ones though? I was thinking about adding silent spells after Christmas."

 Neither Ron, nor Harry seemed particularly overjoyed by this, but both nodded faintly and Hermione said, "That'd be great! It'll be so useful for the extra practice and the practical application too."

 "D'you think Malfoy's a Death Eater?" Harry asked suddenly.

 "What?" Al asked, taken aback and trying to hide the truth from her face, "Lucius Malfoy? Harry you saw him-"

 "No," Harry said firmly, "Draco."

 "Oh," Al said, "I mean, it's possible, I guess..."

 "He's sixteen Harry!" Hermione protested, "Voldemort wouldn't let him-"

 "Well who's to say he wants to join?" Al argued.

 "Here we go," Ron mumbled with an eye roll.

 "No, seriously," Al said, brushing off Ron's comment, "Maybe it's a punishment. His Ma isn't one - maybe the Malfoys just aren't as into the whole Death Eater thing anymore."

 "That doesn't make any sense," Harry said dismissively.

 "Why not?" Al said, "They're well-known for being selfish - they're probably just wanting to survive and come out as best they can. And by making Draco join it'll knock his parents down a peg or two."

 There was silence for a few moments. "That does make more sense than Voldemort just letting him..." Hermione said.

 "Yeah!" Harry said, more enthusiastic now Hermione was onside, "Yeah, exactly!" Both Ron and Al saw straight through this, and burst out laughing at the same time. Harry punched them both playfully. The four of them sat and chattered for another half an hour, before heading down to dinner, where Al departed to the Slytherin table. It was nice to be getting on with them. For once.