FOREVER GRATEFUL

34

"Learning to stand in somebody else's shoes, to see through their eyes, that's how peace begins. And it's up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world."
– Barack Obama

Bella's pov

I don't know what to say. I am speechless, here he is trying to give up his entire future just because of me, and still I am not able to give him an answer.

I know this time is equally difficult for him, if not more.

He has only faced hurt since the moment I have gotten into their group. He had feelings for me but had to watch me being with his own best friend. It's not anyone's fault, not his too. Even Jacob knew that it's not Xander's fault, he was just sad by the fact that he has feelings for me. But I think this is the reason why he specifically told Xander to take care of me and his baby. He knew he has feelings for me, he knew he'll take care of me no matter what. He was no longer worried about me because he knew he can trust Xander.

Xander is a person who has never really shown his feelings towards others, he keeps them to himself, keeps all his pain to himself. I know how much Jacob wanted Xander to find his happiness. He was always worried about him, he knew that he is a nice guy and that he hides his pain by indulging into sexual activities with other girls.

I don't know what to say to him right now, I know he wants to do well for me, but how can I take away all of his happiness. I won't be able to love another man the way I loved Jacob.

I can't be selfish too, this baby is my priority right now. I myself have faced the problems of living with a single parent. Don't get me wrong, I know my mom loves me a lot, it's just in order to provide me and my brother she has to work a lot because of which she had no time left for me. But I don't want that for my own child, I want to be there for him or her, I want to watch them grow. I know I would end up like my mother if I raise the baby on my own. Although I'll have financial help from Williams, he or she won't be able to experience the fatherly love which they deserve.

"Okay" I say after thinking about all the points. I know I am being selfish, But in order to provide my child with a happy environment I can do anything.

Plus I also thought about Xander, maybe this child would help him out as well, maybe he'll start being happy again because of it. And because this marriage would just be done legally he doesn't have to change his current lifestyle for me. He can date or go out with any person as much as he want as long as my child isn't effected by it.

"Ella please think about it more, you can't just say no...." and then he realized what I really said, "Really?" He asks in a much happier mood now.

"Yes Xan, if this can anyhow help my child, I am willing to do it. But you'll have to talk to the Williams and explain this to them. Also just as you said we are doing this just for this child and no other reason." I reply back to him.

I don't know honestly if the Williams will understand this or not. I don't think they would want some other name getting attached to their only grandchild.

"Xan, I want to request something." I say to him, "Yeah?" He replies a bit confused.

"Jacob was their only child, and having this grandchild has given them some hope. I think they would want there grandchild to have their last name, you know in order to carry their family line. So I want the child to have 'William' as it's last name instead of taking yours. I am sorry if this came out as harsh." I try to explain it to him nicely and even apologize because I know how much this child means to him.

I can see that he is a bit hurt by what I had just said but he quickly hides it and smiles, "Yeah of course."

I smile back at him, and say "Thankyou for doing this Xan. This means a lot to me. I know how selfless you are being by taking this decision. You deserve a marriage filled with love and children of your own, but yet you are ready to give all of that up for me." Tears forming into my eyes while saying this.

"You don't ever, ever need to thank me. And I am not being selfless by doing this. I also will benefit having a family of my own from this decision. I always wanted to have children, I wanted to be there for them in ways my father wasn't for me. I am doing this willingly and for myself. So you don't need to feel guilty or sad regarding this. I'll talk to the Williams and take there permission first then we'll talk to your mom and to my father." He comforts me with his words.

I just hope this turns out as easy as it sounds. I am tired of living this complicated life and want nothing but peace with my child now.

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I read each and every comment on my story, and honestly they bring a smile on my face every time. I am grateful and thankful for this love and support. 💕