Love Like Her

The Road And The Window

Everyone always talks about crying in the shower so no one sees your tears, but no one ever tells you you can get the same effect by laying in the middle of the road during a rain storm.

Question is, am I laying in the middle of the road during a rainstorm?

That's a hard no.

I'm sitting in my first ecology lecture staring out of the window beside me while Dr. Ellis gives yet another lecture on ants. This time explaining why fungus is important for ecosystems. Regardless of whatever class he's teaching, he will find a way to make it about ants. I honestly couldn't care any less and it seems my professor picked up on that.

"Miss Adams!" my professor snaps and I reluctantly return my attention back to the lecture.

In my many days of staring out of this window I've never seen anybody really walk by it. Occasionally, a lost freshman who's been given bogus directions will wander past, but today was different. Today I see a woman wander past. She dresses kind of weird for my taste, but to each their own.

Before I know it, everyone else is packing up their notebooks. Something I never even bothered getting out for this class, or any of them for that matter.

I quickly grab my bag and head out of the room before I can be stopped by Dr. Ellis and am forced to sit through a grueling twenty minute follow up lecture about how he expects better from me. I'm lucky if I wake up still breathing, what more does he want from me?

I actually kind of enjoy Psychology. Which is why I'm looking forward to PSY 328 : Behavior Modification. I take the stairs down to the second floor of Pearce and step into the room. The only other person in there is the girl I saw from the window with the baggy clothes.

"You here for Psych 328?" I ask her as I take my favorite seat in any classroom. Back aisle, next to the window. She gives me a low 'mhm' and we go back to sitting in complete silence. A few moments later, the class starts to fill up.

Typically professors are punctual, this ones not. I sit there scrolling through social media on my phone for a bit. Fifteen minutes past starting time, and students are starting to leave. They trickle out one by one, until only me and window girl are left.

I lean forward and lay my head down on my arms and stare out of the window. I don't exactly have anywhere to be at the moment and I'm not the most social person to say the least.

I hear the girl shuffle around a bit and then she speaks. "What's your name?"

My head snaps up. "I'm sorry what?"

"Your name." she repeats herself as she stands in the doorway.

"Vi." I answer bluntly.

Before I can ask her name, window girl gives me a short nod and leaves me to my own thoughts. I've always enjoyed being alone, but I never liked being lonely. It seems like nowadays I'm always lonely, even when I'm with my friends.

That's when it's the worst actually. Fake smiles and forced laughter makes me wanna blow my brains out. The only thing keeping me alive at this point is... well it was my brother, but he's mad at me right now.

I don't really blame him though, I said some things that were horrible. I can't take them back, and I wish that I could. Self-sabotage is a great personality trait to have. When things get good for too long, gotta find a way to fuck it up.

I start my walk back to my dorm room, checking a few texts on the way. As I open the door to the room, my roommate is shrugging on her shirt with a random shirtless guy sitting on her bed.

"Doesn't your friend know how to knock?" he says to her and she gives him a disgusted look.

"This is her room too you dick, because of that, I don't ever want any more of yours. Lose my number fuck boy." she says shoving him out of the room with the rest of his clothes.

"You didn't have to do that..." I say, breaking the now awkward silence.

"It's fine, his kind of tasted like he brushed his teeth with Cheetos... " she says with a chuckle.

Cat and I have been roommates all throughout college and this is our last year together. We don't hang out all that often due to her lack of actually sleeping in her own room. She's usually out, which again, leaves me to my own thoughts.

Speaking of thoughts, I can't tell you why I feel the way that I do. Just a constant pit of despair and sadness, at least that was my normal headspace. Today, I actually felt something...

a/n: thoughts on the first ch?
Wanted to give this book a different feel from the lmg series.

I love you bubbies 💕