Love Like Her

Analyze Restraint

Song - Train Wreck by James Arthur

*Billie's POV*

I drop my pen into my desk and breathe a sigh of relief. I took my time to distract myself from my feelings with lesson planning. So much for long-lasting relief, the events from earlier in the day are catching up to me.

Why would she push me away when I've done nothing but be there for her? It's starting to frustrate me. She has something on her mind that's weighing her down. Now that I think about it, she hasn't been the same since she went home for thanksgiving break. Did something happen at home?

My phone buzzes and it's a text from my brother.

Brudder
-hey, turns out I got added to a show close to home tonight. I'll get there around 4, wanna hang before? Grab a bite?-

B
-yeah that sounds good to me. usual spot?-

Brudder
-yeah, see you soon goober-

B
-👌🏻🖕🏻-

I chuckle to myself and check the time. I've got a solid two hours to kill... or so I thought.

~~~~

The only time I'm ever on time is for work. Meaning I'm running late to see my own brother. I pull into the local restaurant parking lot and dash inside, nearly tripping into the booth.

"Sorry, I got distracted watching tv." I confess, wincing a little.

"Let me guess, the office?" He asks with a chuckle.

"Yeah yeah. Also why didn't you invite Claudia, I haven't seen her since you left." I question in return.

"I plan on seeing her after the show." He says, raising his brow and putting an emphasis on the word after.

"Oh."

The waitress comes by, takes our orders and leaves us to talk once more. "So how's Violet?" Finn probes.

My demeanor falters and I sigh. "Honestly, I don't know. She's been up and down lately and I'm not sure where we stand. I drove her to work this morning, planned on spending the day with her regardless of what she had to do even if it was work, but for some reason she asked me... no, told me to leave. She didn't exactly give me the option of forming a rebuttal. Pretty sure she's covering the showcase that you're playing at tonight too..." I say, trailing off before beginning again. "I don't think I did anything wrong, but she hasn't really talked about the time she spent at home during break... maybe someth-"

"Stop that." Finn cuts me off.

"What?" I groan in annoyance.

"Don't do that thing where you try and figure shit out. If she wants to tell you what's going on, she will. But keep in mind, she's not obligated to share anything with you." He rationalizes with me.

Deep down, I know he's right. It annoys me when he's right, but I can't argue with him. "Do you always have to be right?" I say with a sigh.

"Does it always annoy you when I am?" He asks, knowing my answer.

"That's a rhetorical question you fuck nugget." I note. I can't help but smirk at the goof I call my brother.

~~~~

"Am I even allowed back here?" I ask as I follow Finneas through the maze of halls underneath the venue.

"Trust me you're fine... you said Violet was doing coverage of the showcase. We should say hi to her." Before I can refuse, he's taken my hand and drags me down the hall and up some stairs.

"Violet! The amazing woman who gave me a chance!" Finn shouts before wrapping her in a hug.

She hugs him back and gives him a huge grin. She seems genuinely happy to see my brother. But the moment her eyes meet mine, her face falters for a split second. A third party observer, like Finneas, wouldn't have picked up on it... but I did. She's not happy to see me and I don't know why. It's like she knows I want to ask her what's going on in that head of hers and she's doing everything to keep me at arms length. She won't let me get close enough to peel back the layers of her personality.

I'm not sticking around for this.

Without saying a word to my brother, I turn on my heel and I leave.

I wanted to stay and watch my brother perform, but part of me would feel obligated to stick with Violet. In doing so, I know for a fact the conversation would end up with me questioning her in between radio segments. That's not a conversation meant for public ears.

I shoot a quick text to my brother and apologize to him for bailing and make up some lame excuse. The drive home felt longer than it really was. The amount of time it took to finish a bottle of wine felt shorter than it really was, which made the knock on my front door seem a hell of a lot louder than it really was.

I shuffle my way to the front door opening it to reveal a sad, dejected Violet, practically swimming in her oversized work hoodie. I open my mouth to ask her what's going on but she cuts me off before I can begin.

"Please don't ask me what's wrong because in all honesty, I don't know. Earlier when I told you that my brain was betraying me, it continued to do so for the rest of the day. It got worse when I saw you at the showcase, but it had nothing to do with you or our relationship I just-... I needed to be loved a little harder today, and it didn't help that I pushed you away. Even right now, I wanna push you away. I almost didn't come here tonight... can you just hold me until I feel better?" Violet admits, avoiding my gaze.

Why doesn't she look at me?

Stop analyzing Billie...

I pull her into a hug and close the front door with my foot. I give her a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Have you eaten my love?" I ask her. I hear a muffled no escape her lips.

"Food and then unlimited snuggles, deal?" I ask her.

"Deal."

a/n: feeling soft afffff. Maybe because I really want snuggles rn. Idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

What's everyone's dream car? Sparing no expenses, what would you buy?

Drink water. Eat food. I love you bubbies! 💕