Love Like Her

Not What I Expected

Song - Black Roses by MISSIO

*Billie's POV*

"Hey can we do a full run through of the intro just to make sure we're good." I say into the mic and the sound team gives me a thumbs up.

Three minutes and thirteen seconds later, I'm a sweaty mess and so ready to go back to the hotel and shower. I check my phone on the way back, no notifications from Violet since yesterday afternoon. Kinda weird but I push the thought out of my head.

"Hey Bil, we're heading back to the arena at 6." Finneas says before he heads to his room.

"Yeah, thanks." I say as I use my keycard to unlock the door to my room.

I heavily debate on what I should do first. Shower and then nap, or nap and then shower. I faceplant into the down comforter, nap first.

~~~~

Then shower.

I wrap the towel around my wet body and twist a towel around my hair. It's time to do the ritual of sitting around in my towel for an hour because I wanna be lazy. I check my phone, still nothing from Vi... weird. I try calling her and it goes straight to voicemail. At this point do I file a missing persons report, how long do they have to be missing for anyways?

Maybe she had a busy first couple days back and fell asleep early. I try calling her but it goes straight to voicemail. "Hey babe, just checking on you. Haven't heard from you... I go on in a couple hours... I love you." I say before hanging up and tossing my phone on the bed.

I quickly dry my hair and get dressed. Just as I'm putting my shoes on I hear a knock at the door.

"Eilish you ready?!" I hear my brother shout through the door.

"Yeah one sec!" I say as I tie my laces. I'm not used to this, putting on shows. I had no idea how much work was put into each one, the travel, the lights and sound checks, the nervousness I get before each show.

Today isn't any different.

~~~~

"Thank you Atlanta!! I love you!!" I shout into my mic before giving the crowd a wave and skipping off stage. I navigate my way back to my green room to take a breather. The crowd tonight was the biggest one yet. I open the green room door to see Hayden sitting on the couch doodling away in her sketchbook.

"I didn't know you were coming on tour with us." I say trying to remain civil.

"I didn't either." She says without looking up from her pad.

I practically fall onto the opposite couch, sinking into it. It feels so good to finally sit. "What are you working on?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Stuff for you actually... I think Danny assumed he'd save money by having me work with you and your brother." She scoffs. "It's fine though, I can keep to myself just fine."

"Hayden, we can be friends. We were friends before... Look, if it makes you more comfortable to just stay away from me, I get it. But I promise you, I'm not the same person I was back then." I confess.

"Hmm... and what would your girlfriend say about you hanging out with your ex?" She questions, this time looking up at me with a raised brow.

"Well I don't know because I haven't been able to get in touch with her since yesterday... but if it's any consolation, I'd be honest with her." I explain.

But would I be? Honest.

I shake off the thought. Of course I would. Violet being distant wouldn't change me being faithful.

"Fair enough, here what do you think of this?" Hayden says handing me her sketchbook and stepping over the coffee table to sit next to me. "I tried to keep it simple, elegant, but I know you have an affinity for dark things that make other people skin crawl. So, I tried to incorporate that too." She explains as she points to the intricate details in the drawing.

"This is... amazing. Jeez, I remember during college your skills were incredible but how? How did they improve on something that was already perfect?" I gush.

Hayden's laugh fills the room. I've missed that sound.

"Me, perfect? Nah. Hell of a lot of practice? Yes. But, I'm glad you like it Eilish."

I hand Hayden's book back to her and she gets back to work on a different piece. Her leg gently touching mine as I watch her pen strokes cross the page. She's always been one to use a pen instead of a pencil, because 'I'd rather someone see every intricate detail of my work, including mistakes. I want people to know I've committed myself to every stroke of each piece I do.'

There's something about her commitment level that's sort of inspiring. Even to me, she was nothing but devoted until I pushed her too far. I can still see the faint scar on her forearm where we had gotten into a heated argument and I lost my shit. I absentmindedly run my fingers over the scar on her arm.

"It's faded a lot... I don't even notice it anymore." She says, snapping me from my daze.

"I- sorry I didn't mean... I should go." I blurt out in a rush to leave. I make a quick jog to my bus and close the door behind me. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that I have a notification from Violet.

A voicemail. I press play and her voice fills the silence around me.

'Hey baby, sorry it's been a little crazy here. I had Cat over for a study session last night and lost track of time. I hope tour is going well, I can't wait to hear all about it. Call me when you can, love you.'

My heart skips a beat and I can't help but smile when I hear her voice. There's just- something... something about her tone that doesn't add up.

I brush it off, she's probably just tired. I hover over the call button for a second, but I never press it.

a/n: so I ordered a hoodie and I ordered it a little bigger than I needed it because I wanted a lil extra room to be comfy... it came in and it's wayyyy too big. Like I can fit two of me in it.

On another note, it's period week and I've already cried twice. My ass saw a cute pillowcase that looked super cute, bawled. Then I saw a cute video and lost it. Somebody just throw me some chocolate and let me wallow in my happy sad tears.

I hope you're all doing well, I lub you bubbies 💕