Love Like Her

It's Been Awhile

Song: Burn Me - Bronze Whale feat. Khai

*Violet's POV*

I spent the better part of sitting in my ecology lecture mulling over what Billie told me on the way home. The fact that she continued to do something even though her girlfriend was saying 'no' bothers me. I've had people disrespect my boundaries when I've said no, so the words stop and no have weight to them.

"Miss Adams!" Professor Ellis' voice snaps me from my bubbling inner turmoil.

I let out a sigh. "Yes, Dr. Ellis?"

"Since you were paying such close attention, can you explain the concept of gene flow?" He says trying to challenge me.

"In short, it's migration. An example could be an animal from one population could migrate to another population of the same species and procreate. This resulted in the genetic information that individual being introduced into the new population." I say confidently.

Dr. Ellis furrows his brow, obviously annoyed that I answered his question to meet his standards. I do read the material before class so he can't fault me for doing as I'm told. He continues with the lecture and I get back to more important topics.

Billie.

I tap the end of my pen against my bottom lip. She disrespected someone's 'no'. I could hold that against her, but it wouldn't be fair to her. She's not the same person she was years ago. Hell, she's not even the same person she was five minutes ago. That's the great thing about personal growth, it's constant. Maybe I should just talk to her about it.

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed just sitting here thinking about all the things I should do. My leg bouncing up and down, my hand twirling my pen in my fingers as I tap my fingers on the right against the desk, my teeth biting the inside of my cheek raw. I can taste the blood, but that doesn't stop me. Once I've started my nervous tics I can't stop them until they're completely done. I've just gotta ride it out. I had gone so long feeling empty and devoid of emotion, that feeling whatever 'this' is, it's consuming.

Class is finally over but I know there's no way I can sit still for another hour long lecture right now. I shoot a quick text to Billie telling her that I had something come up and won't be in class today. I don't wait for a reply and shove my phone into my bag, zipping it up, and slinging it onto my back.

My legs carry me to the one place I wasn't expecting, the campus stadium. I jog half way up the bleachers and sit with my feet propped up on the row in front of me, tapping away. I pull on my headphones and play some music from the demo list on my phone. Most of them are rough cuts that need a bit of work, but this... this song doesn't need anything. It's hauntingly beautiful and it hits part of my soul in a way that wakes me up. I check my email to see who sent it to me.

Finneas did, but this isn't his voice.

No way.

Just as it dawns on me, Billie texts me.

Billie
-hey, just finished my last lecture of the day. How are you feeling?-

V
-I honestly don't know-
-I'm feeling a lot of things... I'm at the stadium-

Billie
-are you saying that because you want me to come find you, or so I won't worry?-

V
-please come-

I hit the back button on the song and shove my phone in my pocket, closing my eyes and letting the music fill my head. Moments pass with my eyes still closed and I can feel the thud of shoes reverberate along the bleacher I'm sitting on and then it stops. The scent of Billie's perfume fills my nose and my heart starts to beat just a little bit faster. The song finally ends and I pull my headphones down around my neck, turning to give Billie my full attention.

"Why? Why did you continue when she said no?" I blatantly ask her.

"Wow, avoiding the niceties I see... I suppose I should stop avoiding the question." She starts, looking down at her hands as she fidgets with the ring on her middle finger. "I know the kind of person I am, but younger me was under the impression that being the dominant I am, meant that I should exercise control in all things. Including the person I was dating. It wasn't until I saw the blue lights reflecting off of the white walls of the apartment I shared with Hayden, that I had pushed things too far. Being in a relationship is not just about control... it's about respecting one another's boundaries, trusting each other, among many other things." She finishes, trailing off a bit before taking a deep breath and re-centering herself.

Her honesty makes her so much more desirable. She's pushed me sure, but I set a boundary and she hasn't crossed it. Granted, I haven't been around her much since then. "Do you want to control me?" I ask, tilting my head and subconsciously biting my lip.

"Truthfully? Yes, but I want you to willingly submit. I want to hear you whimper out yes and no, I want to have your hands and feet bound, your eyes blindfolded-" she abruptly stops, flaring her nostrils.

"Why'd you stop? I wanted to hear you say all the dirty things you wanted to do." I coax her.

She gives me a smirk. "I'd rather show you all the dirty things I want to do. I'd prefer doing so in the privacy of my own home behind closed doors, not in the open on school property."

Fuck.

I can feel my cheeks heating up. I know I'm as red as a tomato.

I hear a low moan come from Billie's throat. "I like it when I make you blush." She husks out.

Which in turn makes me blush even harder. I pull my hood up and tug on the strings at a poor attempt to hide my face.

"No no babygirl. Don't hide that pretty face." She says tickling my sides making me squeal before erupting into a fit of laughter.

I haven't genuinely laughed like this in a long time.

a/n: I'm sorry this update took FOREVER to get out. My brain has been on standby mode for a hot minute. But I'm going on vacation over Labor Day weekend and probably won't update while I'm out of town.

Buuuuuut, I've missed you all. How are you? Do any of you need hugs? Can I get anyone a snack?

I love you bubbies! 💕