Love Like Her

Bulletproof

Song - Alcatraz by Oliver Riot

I knock lightly on Billie's office door and enter only when I hear a 'come in' from the other side. Billie is sitting at her desk scrawling away on someone's essay. Jeez finals are next week and I need to study, I haven't been able to because my mind has been cluttered with Billie and work.

"Give me just a moment and I'm all yours." She says not bothering to look up from her work. I slide my bag off my shoulder and let it plop on the floor as I take a seat.

True to her word she finishes grading the paper and gives me her undivided attention. "Hey Vi, I'm sorry for being a dick the past few days... I've had a lot on my mind and I didn't know how to process all of it."

I drape my legs over the arm of the chair get comfy. "It's fine Billie, I wasn't exactly easy to get along with and I certainly wasn't making things easier for you."

Instead of replying, Billie let's put a drawn out sigh and props her head on the palm of her hand. The tension in this small office is palpable, so much so, that you could cut through it with a butter knife. Why is it so awkward to talk to her right now?

You know why.

She lo-

My brain won't let that go. "So... you not only love me, but you're in love with me?" I blurt out avoiding her gaze.

"Yeah, I am. That doesn't mean you have to say it back Violet, I just wanted to express my feelings and if you don't feel the same, that's okay. I want that sort of thing to happen organically." She explains with care.

I think she thinks that I'm fragile. In some ways I am, but as far as feelings go... aside from what I feel for Billie, I don't really have other good feelings. It's like I'm always wearing a bulletproof vest. "Billie, it's not that I don't care for you or about you. Hell, I make a daily choice to love you regardless of what happens, but in all honesty it scared me when you said you were in love with me. You've said that I'm not just some fling to you... but, you saying that you were in love with me, hits different. It's like it's..." I trail off at a loss for words.

"Real?" She says finishing my thought with the exact word I needed.

"Yeah... and it terrifies me because I not only have to face that I'm head over fucking heels in love with you, I at some point, have to tell my super conservative parents. I can't just not go home for Christmas Billie... Thanksgiving for a week was one thing, Christmas is a whole month long." I say with my arms crossed over my chest and my head tipped back.

I hear the wheels on billies chair glide over the tile floor. She places her hands on either side of my face and kisses my forehead. My eyes flutter open to see her upside down goofy grin. "We'll take it one day at a time. If you want I can come with you and just say I'm a tutor, you parents don't have to know anything more." She poses the question.

For a moment, I get giddy over the idea of her meeting my brother, they'd get along great. My parents, not so much.

"But that means I can't kiss you when I want to, or hold your hand when I want to..." I say with a pout.

"Then we'll have to be very, v e r y secretive my love." She rasps next to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I tightly grip the fabric at the neck of my sweatshirt in an attempt to conceal the goosebumps forming.

I clear my throat and sit up to see Billie's signature smirk. She knows what she did. "Can I come back?" I ask in a stroke of boldness.

Billie furrows her brow. "What do you mean babygirl?"

I fidget with the strings on my hoodie. "You dropped my duffel bag at my feet and then left I didn't know wh-"

"Baby, I was upset and you had mentioned staying at the dorm with Cat... I was NOT breaking up with you. Dinner the other day was awkward to say the least, but that's my fault." Billie explains.

The thing is it wasn't her fault. It's my own inner turmoil boiling over and scalding everyone around me. The only good thing about today was I fixed things with Billie, and I finally told her how I was feeling.

I hadn't realized I had zoned out until I feel Billie's hand trail up my inner thigh. I quickly grab her wrist. "Billie not here."

"Like that's stopped you before." She giggles out, continuing her actions.

I push her wrist further away. "I said no." I state in a firm tone.

"Okay, I'll stop. I've gotta get back to work for a bit, but I'll see you at home?" She asks, scooting her chair back towards her desk.

I guess that's my cue to go. I pick up my bag and sling it over my shoulder. "Yeah... sorry for saying no."

"Baby, I'm not upset at all. You said no, I took your no for a no. I will never make you feel bad for that. Besides, I prefer when you willingly submit." She says with a wink and know for damn sure my cheeks reflect my being caught off guard.

"Noted. I will see you at home, fully submitted." I say with another stroke of boldness, causing Billie to choke a bit and her cheeks to redden as well.

Good to know what gets her worked up.

a/n: thank you all for being patient with me. My migraines are mostly under control, which is good.

I spent my Halloween at my friends house sending candy down a chute for social distanced trick or treating. Aside from one bit, I had a good safe Halloween freezing my ass off.

What did you guys dress up as?

I lub you bubbies 🥰💕