Love Like Her

Find Me

Song - Crossfire by Stephen

I dropped Violet off at her dorm about an hour ago and am currently sitting in my brothers driveway debating on whether or not I should go inside. I've been sitting here for a solid fifteen minutes going back and forth on what I want to do with my life. Hell I think my quarter life crisis came a little late but fuck, why did it have to be right now. I hear my car door open and Claudia climbs in the passenger seat.

She gives me a genuinely concerned look. "You've been sitting out here for awhile babe, what's going on?"

I toss my head back and groan. "Well for starters, I ran into my ex and made an ass of myself in front of Finn and my girlfriend, I'm pretty sure he's fuming at me, which somehow ended up with me talking to Finn's manager, and I feel like just as I'm getting my life together it's crumbling apart at the same time? Does that make sense? Fuck, it doesn't even make sense in my head, how could it make sense coming out of my mouth."

Claudia chuckles at my misery. "Oh come on... Finneas isn't mad at you. He told me what happened at the label, to be fair he didn't realize Hayden was the artist under review. Had he known I'm sure he would have rejected the meeting because I know he loves and cares for you and wouldn't want to jeopardize his relationship with your goofy ass. As far as Violet goes, just give her some room to breathe. She's a human being with feelings and her feelings are valid regardless of what you think." She says, pausing for a moment.

Her feelings are valid, and I need to respect that.

"Onto your life changing situation, you're teaching at the university right? Did something happen?" She questions.

You mean, did I end up falling for one of my students and she occasionally stays at my house and studies anatomy well into the early hours of the morning?

"No, just got an unexpected opportunity that I'm kind of interested in, but I'm still not sure about it..." I trail off.

"What's got you so unsure about it? It's a good opportunity right?"

"Honestly, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don't wanna pass it up, but in the back of my mind I have this constant irrational fear that I'm not good enough. Who would listen to me?"

"Give a lecture? Hell, who wouldn't-" she starts but I cut her off.

"Not lectures Claudia... you've heard me goof off and sing with Finneas, apparently his label is interested in me and wants me to send in a few demos."

She holds up her hand for me to stop talking. "Hold up. You're telling me, that you think that angelic voice of yours isn't good enough? I've heard your backing vocals for Finn. Honey, you could sing about taking a shit and it would top the charts, just- don't psych yourself out about it and go for it! Have the courage to find yourself in something new!" She says enveloping me in a hug and squeezing so tight that I can barely breathe.

I pat her back, signaling for her to let go. "Claudia, I need to be able to breathe if I'm gonna sing."

"I-... sorry." She apologizes, poking her bottom lip out. "Come on, let's see what Finneas thinks."

~~~~

*Violet's POV*

"You're telling me that six foot four tree of a man that just walked out of here is your boyfriend?" I ask, gawking at Cat.

"Uh yeah, why?"

"Cat, I hate to break it to you, but he's such a douche. He's in my psych class, and practically eye fucks my girlfriend every lecture." I explain, not realizing what I've just said.

"Oh no, slow down. Girlfriend? The mysterious Violet Adams has a girlfriend? Spill the mother fucking tea ma'am."

Fuck.

Think fast Violet.

"Nooo what about the movie?" I fake being sad we haven't started it yet.

"Fuck it, this tea has got to be way better than a shitty movie. Now, spill. I want details." She says as she settles into her seat, eating the popcorn she made specifically for the movie.

I can't say she's my professor.

"She's in my psych class with douche bag Kyle. She's basically the opposite of me. She's outgoing and has a very vibrant personality, the kind of person who commands attention easily. We got into a bit of an awkward spot recently... ran into her ex, twice in one week, and resulted in Billie in a screaming match with her ex that her brother and I walked in on."

"Oooo so her name is Billie... good to know." She jokes with me, giving me a wink.

I shouldn't have said that.

Before I can interject, Cat already has a million and one questions. "Ok so, why are you letting something petty like an argument, that wasn't with you, get in the way of things? You obviously like this girl otherwise you wouldn't be concerned..."

I let out a drawn out sigh. "I do like her, I may or may not love her. I just, don't want her past cycling back around to repeat itself." I confess.

"Well think about it this way, are you the same person you were a year ago?"

"No."

"Are you the same person you were a month ago?"

"No."

"Are you the same person you were a day ago?"

"No."

"What about five minutes ago?"

"I-...no."

"And neither is she... we all have a past Violet, whether we share it with others is our own choice. The fact she shared something from her past shows you that she's trusting you with the dark parts of herself in the hopes that you don't drop it and say 'nah this is too much for me, I can't deal with your past, but I expect you to deal with mine'. She's probably not sharing it with you because she's going to repeat herself, but maybe she's looking at it and going 'oh I fucked up there and I don't wanna be that person anymore'. Just give her some grace Vi. Besides, I know your past isn't all sparkles and rainbows..." she says, finishing with a smirk.

"Yeah yeah, you're right. I may or may not have been too hard on her about it... she said not only loved me but was in love with me too, and I wasn't exactly matching her vibe to say the least." I confess, gritting my teeth at the thought of, am I really feeling this?

"Then be honest and tell her you need to take a step back, not break up, but just some space to find yourself in all of this. Honesty works a lot better than you think. Now, are we ready to watch the movie?" She asks, judging my shoulder with hers.

"Yeah... do me a favor?"

"Anything, what's up?"

"Don't say a word about my relationship to anyone." I plead with a furrowed brow.

"I-okay. I got you babe."

I really hope she does have my back.

a/n: surprise update because I can't sleep. What's something you believed wholeheartedly as a kid but don't believe in now?

I lub you bubbies 🥰💕