Bonded | Kylo Ren x Reader |

~Restless Night~

The past few weeks here had been full of unexpected surprises, both good and bad. Xian's death was a surprise, Kess's kindness was a surprise, and Ben faking his own death was certainly a surprise. You weren't sure your heart could take any more of this.

What you certainly weren't expecting was a visit from Kylo exactly two hours later. You were sitting on your bed, trying to escape your thoughts by reading, when who should come barging into your quarters? Kylo, of course. He was angry. Clearly the conversation you had had before wasn't sitting too well with him. Strangely, he couldn't really seem to walk in a straight line and his eyes weren't really focused. You rise from your bed immediately, meeting him halfway across the room as not to give him any ideas. Your arms cross tightly as you lean your weight onto one leg, looking up at him expectantly.

Kylo points a rather accusing gloved finger at you. "You know what your problem is?"

"Do tell." You roll your eyes.

"You just have to have things your way-" Kylo's words were slurring together and he couldn't seem to differentiate his thoughts "-wait no. You just can't let go of the past. Why-Why should it matter who I was to you back then, hm? You shouldn't care."

"No?" You raise your eyebrows, trying to contain your anger at least for the time being.

He hiccups. "No. You need to calm down because I'm doing this for you. For us, little Butterfly. You should just move on. Forgive and forget."

"Really?" You step closer to him, looking him dead in the eyes. "And you know what your problem is?" He hums in response. "You don't understand anything about feelings. How could you? You've been completely absent from your emotions for years now. You're just a cold shell of the person you were before. And now that you're faced with real issues, you run like a coward. You drink away your problems because you're too much of a pussy to face them."

Drunk or not, Kylo understood your words. The only difference was his unintelligible grumble because his brain couldn't seem to make sense of anything. "Pussy?  Y-You don't mean that, pet. Come here." He takes a drunken step forward, reaching for you.

You swat his hand aside. "Don't touch me, you're drunk. Get out of here. You're pathetic. You hear me?"

His face falls and he scowls at you. "Whatever." Kylo turns his back to you and starts towards the door. He pauses at the frame, only to be shoved into the hallway full force by you, slamming into the opposite wall.

"And stay out!" You yell angrily before your door slides shut. Drunken bastard.

Sleep was impossible that night. You were tossing and turning for hours, just hoping to get even a little wink of sleep, but no such luck. Your mind was keeping you awake and you were starting to realize the sweet freedom of a good night's rest would never come. It felt as though no position on your bed was good enough. Even your blanket, which was usually light and comforting, felt heavy and scratchy. Your eyes would close, only to snap back open in frustration when the familiar feeling of tiredness never arrived.

A defeated groan of annoyance passes through your lips as you grab a fistful of your pillow to flip it over--as if that would help--practically slamming it down. With a small huff, you roll onto your back, blankly staring up through the shroud of darkness at your ceiling. It was deathly silent to a point where even that was uncomfortable. It was now that you noticed the faint, quiet hum coming from the Finalizer's engines. Were they always this noticeable? Surely not.