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blurry
everything's blurry
loud
loud and tinny and grating on my ears
makes me want to tense my muscles and run
but there's nowhere to run to
there's no one to run to
there's nothing to run for

there's me
but I want to run for something I don't have—
for something I want
I already have myself
so what else is there?

I can't find something big to fight for
nothing's been lighting my bones on fire,
nothing that I can see,
anyway

I guess I'll have to wing it from here
until I find myself on solid ground again

I want to listen to sad songs
but I fear they'll drag me back down into my own personal hell
it feels good to hurt every once and a while
but it gets old fast enough

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