in love for the night // nate jacobs \\

8

( lei's pov )

"rosalia, there are things i want to say but i can't express those words. there's no amount of ways to say it but i'm sorry. sorry for the pain and the scars. sorry for giving you up-"

"stop!" i yelled to dr. snow who was reading the letter my biological mother had sent. i shut my eyes and covered my ears like a child who was watching a horror movie. "please stop."

i know i agreed to read the letter to dissect it but fuck i couldn't do it. hearing that name, it triggered me. i wasn't a fucking child anymore and i wasn't rosalia who ever the fuck that was.

1.
2.
3.
4.

over and over again. till finally i uncovered my ears and opened my eyes. i hadn't realized i was crying, but i was.

dr. snow stared at me no judgement in his eyes, "i'm sorry lei. i forgot the name."

"i don't think i'm ready," i said through trembling lips. "not today."

"that's ok," he says, "we can always do it another day. when you feel you are ready. or we can do it with your parents if you think it's best."

i wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand, "uhm yeah i'll talk to them about it."

"ok well i'll see you in 2 days lei," he says as he stands  up from his seat. "is that ok?"

i nod picking up my bag from the coffee table and stand up, "yeah it's fine dr.snow."

he goes over to the door opening it and walks me out.

i left and made my way out the office and into my car, driving back to my parents house. i skipped school today, it was a bad day. i woke up feeling anxious and scared and just stayed locked up in a room. and my parents just let me. occasionally they would check up on me bringing me meals. they knew i did better alone and if i needed them i'd come to them. i think it was the idea of opening and reading the letter today, which i couldn't even get through.

i parked in my driveway and made my way inside the house. "lei, sweetie, dinner is ready."

i wanted to say not hungry, but i knew due to my past eating disorder that i at least needed to try to eat something. "ok. coming." i say dropping my bag at the front and leaving my keys at the bowl in the front.

i walk in and see my father sitting at the dinner table already, "hi, papa," i say walking over and gently kiss his cheek before sitting at my usual spot, the left side of him.

"hi princess, how was therapy?" he asks as i lean back in my seat.

i shrug, "it was therapy"

he nods folding his hands on the table, "so i was watching the wizard of oz and i kept thinking of you." i knew why, i would watch the movie with him, and sing all the songs. i was such a sucker for musicals when my dad would watch old films, they were my favorites. "and i thought my daughter can do everything, she's extremely intelligent and talented, and i thought how did i get so lucky?" he loved changing subjects especially when he knew i needed to get my mind of things and i smiled over at him.

my mom walked over and placed a plate in front of me, rigatoni in her famous red sauce and breaded chicken parm, one of my favorites. "thank you," i say smiling up at her.

"so swan lake at your dance school is coming up, you think you'll be princess odette this year?" she asks and i shrug my shoulders.

i went to one of the most prestigious dance schools. they literally would make you or brake you. you really needed to have a good head on your shoulders and be extremely dedicated. i knew so many girls who literally pushed themselves to the extreme to be noticed and never got a first look.