in love for the night // nate jacobs \\

13

i sat on the couch at my therapists office, my mom and dad on either sides of me.

"are you sure you're ready for this?" my therapist asks as he handed me the letter.

i nod, "i have my mom and i have my dad and these are my real parents. and they are my strength. i am ready." i say taking in a deep breath as i open the letter.

my father wrapped his arm around me and my mom had her hand on me knee.

"rosalia." i whisper the name. "there are things i want to say but i can't express those words. there's no amount of ways to say it but i'm sorry." my voice broke and my father gently rubbed my arm. "uhm," i sniffle. "sorry for the pain and the scars. sorry for giving you up. no child has to go through the things you went through. drugs made me a different person. i know you have a good life now. a life i could never give to you. a life of health, happiness and love." i wipe my eyes. "i wonder what you look like? i wonder what your hobbies are? i hope one day i can find out. you need to know i'm not the same person anymore. i have been clean for 3 years and i have done a lot of soul searching. i have found god," i say shaking my head while folding up the paper. "i'm not reading it anymore." i placed the paper back in the envelope.

"mr and mrs. stone i'd like to continue the conversation with lei privately, now." dr. snow said.

"we'll be outside," my mom said kissing my head and walked out with my father.

"why didn't you want to continue reading the letter?" dr.snow asks.

i wipe my eyes, "every addict says they found god. she's been sober for 3 years because she's been in jail for that long. also, i told my parents i didn't want to have contact with her and she knows that so the fact that she sent it to my dad's attorney office disgusts me. she also never gave me up, the state took me away from her. and lastly the use of that name is extremely disrespectful because it's not my name."

"and you're familiar with addicts?"

i look down, "you know i'm very familiar with addicts. uhm i have a new friend. rue she's an addict, in recovery."

"do you think it's a healthy to have a friendship with an addict?" he asks.

"if she hadn't shared she was in recovery than i wouldn't have known. she's a great friend. understanding too," i says picking at my finger nails.

"your parents mentioned a boy," he says and i instantly roll my eyes. "so there is a boy."

"yes correct a boy. just a giant boy child," i mutter.

"do you have a relationship with this boy?"

i roll my eyes, "no. i mean kind of."

"do you think it's healthy for you to have a relationship with this boy," he asks

i shrug my shoulders, "uhm not really. he brings me flowers almost everyday to school. takes me on dates. i met his parents and he's met mine. he calls or texts me almost every day just to check up on me, but we argue a lot. because although he thinks we're the same, we're not."

"does he know about your past relationship?" he asks.

i shake my head, looking down, "no i mean he suspects about my relationship with gray but he doesn't know."

"have you seen gray?" he asks me.

i nod my head, "i seen him a couple days ago. he uhm walked up to me and grabbed me and rue intervened."