30. CAN'T RISK IT

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| CHAPTER THIRTY |

CAN'T RISK IT.


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SIRIUS BLACK WAS DEAD. BUT, he was also still seen as a murderer, which meant every article talking about his death in the Daily Prophet was horrendous to read. It pained Dawn to see people celebrating his death. Due to the fact that he was still seen as a dangerous man, the Order had to have a secret memorial service for him and them some sort of closure.

The only good thing to come out after his death was that now the Ministry believed Harry that You-Know-Who was on the rise once again. 

It was bittersweet staying at Grimmauld Place. Sirius clearly hated the place, but it was still his home, it was where he grew up so, Dawn felt it was important to keep his bedroom exactly how it was. It was the only memory of him ever being in that house anyways. And she dismissed Mundungus' idea of turning it into his room without a second of hesitation. 

The redhead stood in the living room, her eyes lingering on the Black Family Tree tapestry; more specifically, on the burnt out picture of Sirius. She couldn't look too far to the left of it, whenever she spotted the Lestrange name she felt sick. The sudden sound of the door opening grabbed her attention and she looked over her shoulder, a sad smile on her face when she spotted Remus entering. 

"How are you holding up?" Dawn questioned, meeting him half way, her eyes full of worry as she looked up at his tired face. The full moon was nearing and it would be the first one in a long time that Remus would be alone during it. Ever since Sirius escaped, he made it his mission to be there for his best friend whenever he could, and after he moved back to London from Romania, he was there (in his animagus form) for Remus.

"I'm okay," Remus muttered, but his words didn't seem to convince the redhead. She sent him a pointed look as he sighed, "I'm just tired," He finally told her, reaching down to hold her hand, his thumb rubbing her knuckles, "The few days before it are always the worst."

"I can be there," Dawn suggested, "During it--"

Remus shook his head, "No," He was quick to cut her off, "No, no. I can't. I don't want to hurt you."

Dawn opened her mouth, hoping to talk him into it but he was quick to cut her off once again, "I know what you're going to say," Remus told her, sending her a thankful smile, "But I can't risk it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I...If I hurt you."

The redhead bit her lip. As much as she wanted to be there for him, she also didn't want him to bear the guilt if he ever so much as pulled a loose strand of hair from her head. It just wouldn't be fair for him, "What about the following morning?" She asked, looking up at him through her lashes, looking hopeful.

Remus looked down at her, his heart swelling with joy. He never expected to meet someone he could connect with so much, let alone meet someone he could share his deepest and darkest secrets with and they wouldn't run off. He couldn't help but feel like the luckiest man in the world as his eyes stayed locked on Dawn's bright green ones, "Okay," Remus breathed out. He couldn't help but break out in a smile when Dawn did so too. It was in that moment that he knew he wanted her to be around forever. It was in that moment he knew he would've done anything and everything for her. He was falling, and he was falling hard. But luckily for him, so was she.

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