Serene Collision

Special: Carmins Private Journal Entry #1

Thanks for all the reads❤️😭
Updates will restart at the first Sunday of November.
If you miss me too much, go check out my other book TWWRWTW💫Just posted a cool special.
All love.
-malayjahthewriter

September 2020
In Dr. Jones' office
He basically has a gun to my head.

Dr. Jones says if I don't write he'll give me extra group therapy. So here it is. All the things that made me angry this week, and one thing that made me smile.

1.) Nic.

He thinks I like that bastard Leonardo. He's wrong.

2.) Leonardo

This bitch constantly blackmails me. First it was the weed. Next it was the hand holding, and now it's a picture. I told that bastard Nic not to invite him into our house. Hell, he let him spend the fucking night! We are not a fucking charity!

Don't even get me started on that fucking cat on my roof. If it wasn't for that cat Leo wouldn't have that picture, and I wouldn't be going to a fucking engagemnt party.

I know that I'm a psychotic fuck. But that damn Leonardo is an actual psycho, no jokes aside. He suddenly proclaims us as friends, and now he wants me to do just about everything with him. You can't tell me that idiot isn't on drugs.

I have a theory.

Wyatt gives him drugs. Probably for those anger issues of his. Leo likes the feel of the drugs, so he pops about five of those babies before he enters the school building. There is no other explanation, for this deranged behavior of his.

If he keeps up with his blackmailing he's gonna wake up one morning with his dick chopped off. I hate it when Josh or Nic tells me what to do, because I have to listen. But it fucking sucks when I have to listen to Leo. I'm bound to him by a picture. A fucking picture.

3.) The nickname.

It's bad enough that I have to endure it alone, but when he says it in front of Nic and Josh, I feel like murdering someone. Does he not have any shame? I don't know why I get so weird about it, I know that it only means idiot. But it....it makes me weird.

4.) Hallway Attack.

Someone touched me. I didn't even know him. He stopped me in the hall, and pushed me against the wall, and kissed my neck. I felt like I was gonna die. I felt so sick. So fucking sick. It reminded me of him.

My dad.

He'd use the same tactic. Take advantage of the small girl, huh? I couldn't even scream. Whenever Josh was home, he'd tell me to keep quiet, or else he'd hurt him. Whenever mom was near, he'd tell me to be still or else he'd hurt her.

The woman was as deaf as a bat, but she had an incredible feel for vibrations, no matter where she was.

The day I told her what he was doing to me was the day she died.

What if I had told Joshie?

I learned a valuable lesson that day. It's best to keep quiet. If I'm in trouble, it's up to me to take care of myself, and if I'm unable then that's on me.

Funny. I write this now, but I in fact received help on that day in the hallway. Leonardo, possibly doped on drugs.

He beat the shit out of him. I don't think I've ever seen someone hurt someone else so much with just their bare hands. He's incredibly violent. Before I was only aware of that by verbal extent, but now I have a better understanding of why everyone is so quiet whenever he passes by.

He's a walking menace, yet he blushes when he hears his first name.

I wonder what would have happened if he hadn't been there.

1.) That one thing that made me smile, almost smile.

Josh left earlier than expected. He came into the classroom and pleaded for my forgiveness on his knees. I didn't show him my frown, because I knew he'd skip work if I told him to, so I put on a brave face. After he left I stared after the door.

I wanted him to stay forever.

Just when my mood was about to deflate altogether, Leo grabbed my hand. His hand was so warm, so rough. I couldn't help but to enjoy it. And no not for that type of reason.

It was incredibly cold in the classroom. So it wasn't weird for me to crave the warmth.

I thought it was weird for someone with such big hands to have such a gentle touch. I thought it was even more weird that I was accepting his touch. It's been happening a lot lately.

I wouldn't dare show it in class, but after I left for the hall......I smiled.

Remember updates will be back up by the first Sunday of November💕
-malayjahthewriter