Serene Collision

Special: Leo's Private Journal Entry#2

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-malayjahthewriter

November 2020
Home in Bed

She was mad at me today.

She didn't curse at me, nor threaten my life. She just ignored me. That pissed me off more than anything. If we don't speak to each other, my mind will just go off and imagine the worse things.

At first I refused to apologize, yet I still demanded her attention, which was just a mess from the get go. She's very good at ignoring, as good as she is at running away.

I took my complaints to Dr. Jones. He isn't the worst person in the world to talk to about matters of the heart, and both my sister and Chris were busy, so-yea.

He was actually quite excited to help me out. He found it "amazing" that I was coming to him with an actual question about my life rather than not speaking to him at all, which is how our sessions usually went.

I explained what happened, and how Carmin was in the wrong and how she freaked out for no reason, but of course the Doctor had to look at the situation from both sides.

He told me to step into Carmin's shoes. A girl who hates attention, and isn't as used to skinship as myself. Then he asked me, if I were Piccolina, what would I have done if someone cradled me in their arms as if I were a child and rubbed their nose against mine in the middle of the cafeteria.

Now that I'm writing it out, I can see why....yea.

But I wasn't trying to cause a scene. I wanted to hold her, and she was so cute, I could help but to nudge my nose against hers.

But if I were hypothetically Piccolina, I can definitely see why she'd get so mad.

I don't pay much attention to the people around us. I'm pretty much used to everyone staring at "psycho Leo." It's different for her. She gets anxious when there's too many eyes on her. I should have figured that from the get go. My short Piccolina is obsessed with isolating herself from everyone.

She'd rather be alone.

Alone or with me, of course.

I headed straight to her house after my session with Doctor Jones.

I'm not used to apologizing, I'm really not. Not even with family most of the time. But with Piccolina..... I feel like such an idiot for not seeing it that way in the first place. I really don't mean to push my affection on her, but I just like her so much.

I need to stop leading with my feelings, and take into account hers.

After I got to her house, Nic answered the door. He asked me if I was staying for dinner. I always stay, I don't know why he even bothers asking.

Piccolina's door was locked once I got up there. The window was an option, but I didn't want her any more mad at me than she already was. So I just continued to knock on the door, until I heard her little footsteps nearing.

That glare of hers was as cute as ever, but I didn't dare say it out loud. She would have definitely tried to pummel me.

I went on to apologize, and promise her I wouldn't do it again. And I kinda begged her to stop being mad at me.

What she did next surprised me to say the least. Instead of shutting the door in my face, or flipping me off like I had expected, she said something that threw me off. I remember her word for word.

"Can we slow down a little bit..I'm trying to get used to the courting and touching and flirting and stuff."

She looked flustered the entire time she said it.

That wasn't the response I was expecting from her. And to say the least I was happy for that response. She's a bit shy about this whole courting thing, so I'd never expect for her to say it directly.

It got me thinking about our feelings towards each other. Piccolina hasn't admitted it to me, but I know she likes me. Well I think she likes me......And liking a person comes with a whole lot of emotion, in my experience with her.

I like her a lot. Her mood alters mine. Her affection makes me happy. It's overbearing really.

So if Piccolina likes me....it would be the same. I accept those overbearing feelings in full, but I'd assume it would be too much for her little body to take.

She's tenses from just flirting, I should have figured it would be worse if I did that much.

Next thing I knew, I was hugging her. How could I not?

She grunted and grumbled, but didn't tell me to move. She never does...

I told her that we would go as slow as she needed. Then I pulled her along into the living room to watch a movie.

I have invited myself into her home more times than I can count. To the untrained ear, that sounds illegal. And it kind of is....I don't know where I'm going with this.

I've never spent so much time at another person's house before. I've never been to a friends house before. I'm not a fan of visiting other people's living spaces, but I don't mind with Piccolina.

This liking of someone grows more and more overtime. There are so many things that are coming to light as my attraction grows.

I'm so fucking clingy. I'd die if my family found out I was this clingy. They would laugh their asses off at me.The sad thing about it is I can't fucking help it. There is no stopping it. I have no control over it.

Then there is the fucking jealousy.

I have never experienced an emotion such as Jealousy before. It feels like anger, but somehow it's 10 times worse. It drives me crazy. I try to cool it down, I try to be "normal" but that could only help me for so long.

I'm angry by nature, but when I have a reason, things start to go south.

Ryu. I fucking hate him. I couldn't stand him when he was just her old classmate, but now that he's her friend, I absolutely despise him. And I don't care what anyone says, he likes her.

After we left the bookstore, he hugged her. It made me so uncomfortable, I could barely stand straight.

I just....I'm trying to control it, I don't want Piccolina to feel like I'm that type of guy. I don't want to be that type of guy.

Though I was mad as all got up, that didn't last long. Once we got in the car afterwards, I was ready to question her about him, and to most likely go into a temper tantrum.....Then she gave me a book. A cookbook. Since I live alone and all.

Nona must have told her about my eating habits...

The book means a lot to me. It's a courting gift first and foremost.It's also a symbol of sorts. She thought of me, when she picked it out.

I know it seems small, or a bit insignificant. But to know that Piccolina thought of me, is enough to leave me smiling for days.

My characters are growing up😭
I'm so proud.
I hope you enjoyed.
All❤️💕
-malayjahthewriter
Happy holidays.