Maybe I miss you

A pile of sand

Harry's POV

That evening, after Mitch had left, Harry tried to stay sain, but the overwhelming feeling of being without Louis made it really hard. Louis was his sunshine, his happiness, the love of his life and not knowing if he would ever come back made Harry crazy. He decided to distract himself by scrolling through social media but every time he saw a picture of a dog he thought about Clifford, avocados made him think about Louis, kids reminded him of Freddie, and everything he loved made him cry because his true love left him. Harry was a mess. After scrolling through Instagram for three hours straight Harry decided to go to sleep, hoping he would wake up and realise that it was just a nightmare.

But as soon as he fell asleep the same scenario played in his head.
In this dream Harry wakes up next to Louis and kisses him, he closes his eyes and takes everything in. But then he hears Louis speaking. He says he is sorry and Harry opens his eyes. Instead of laying on top of Louis, Harry lays on a pile of sand. Harry starts to scream Louis name, he hears his voice again and the wind blows the sand away. Harry is left alone. Left with nothing but himself.

After Harry woke up twice screaming Louis name he decided to stay awake. Losing Louis again would hurt him too much. Harry turned the TV on and "The Notebook" was playing, but Harry didn't feel like watching it. He was not in the mood to see others being in love when he was in so much pain, so he decided to get up and write a song about it. Writing songs was the only thing that made Harry feel normal, now that Louis was gone. But Harry didn't feel like sitting down and writing a song. He went out of his room and stood in the hallway and recorded everything with his phone. The acoustics in the hallway were beautiful and every note Harry sang felt raw and honest and somewhat fragile as if she could break every second. Harry started to sing, but the worlds that came to his mind didn't make sense for him, but he went with it.

"Meet me in the hallway, meet me in the hallway
I just left your bedroom, give me some morphine
Is there any more to do?"

Although these lyrics didn't make a lot of sense they described his emotions perfectly. He wanted to see Louis, but he couldn't. He wanted to numb the pain, but he doubted that anything could. And he really didn't know what he could do about it.

"Just let me know, I'll be at the door, at the door
Hoping you'll come around
Just let me know I'll be on the floor, on the floor
Maybe we'll work it out"

All Harry wanted was to work things out with Louis but Louis told him that he needed to be on his own, and the only thing that was more important to Harry then his own needs was Louis. Because of that he respected his wish and didn't reach out.

"I gotta get better, gotta get better
I gotta get better, gotta get better
I gotta get better, gotta get better
And maybe we'll work it out"

These lyrics described everything. Harry felt miserable and broken, but in the end, all he wanted was to work things out with his boy.

"I walked the streets all day, running with the wind*
'Cause you left me in the hallway
Just take the pain away"

He included his nightmare, knowing that only he would know the true meaning behind it even though the song was pretty obvious.

"Just let me know, I'll be at the door, at the door
Hoping you'll come around
Just let me know I'll be on the floor, on the floor
Maybe we'll work it out
I gotta get better, gotta get better
I gotta get better, gotta get better
I gotta get better, gotta get better
And maybe we'll work it out"

Harry was almost done with the song but he felt the need to add something else.

"We don't talk about it, it's something we don't do
'Cause once you go without it, nothing else will do."

That was Harry's biggest fear. That Louis would get so used to being without him that he couldn't get back. That they would get so used to being alone that being together felt unnatural and wrong. Or like they were losing themselves. But what if this had already happened? What if the years in wich they didn't talk sepperated them so much that they couldn't be together. Ever. At that thought, Harry started crying. But it was different than the last time. He didn't cry because he was hurt, he cried because he was scared. Because a life without Louis was not worth living in Harry's eyes. He tried to push the thoughts away but he couldn't, so he stayed awake crying until the morining.

a/n: This story has just reached 1K reads. Thank you :)
(And yes half of the reads were probably me but still 😂😂)