Maybe I miss you

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you but...

a/n: Before I start with the story, let's talk about the golden music video. I can't wait. Well by the time anybody reads this it's probably already out. Is it good? Do you love it? Is it ... Larry related? I'm really fucking excited. Until then let's go on with the story.

a/n: Trigger warning: Self-harm; suicidal thoughts
There will be a warning before the passage. Please do not read it, if you're not comfortable with it or not in the right mindset. Thank you.

Louis woke up the next morning with a weird feeling. Something felt off but he couldn't pinpoint it jet. He wanted to snuggle into Harry's arms but Harry was not in bed with him. Louis got up and searched for Harry, but it seemed like he was not in the house. Louis got worried. Normally he would just wait for a little bit and call him if he wouldn't have come back by that time, but today he felt like that was the wrong thing to do. Louis throw on a t-shirt and started searching for Harry outside. After what felt like forever Louis had finally found Harry, he was sitting on a rock and looking at the sea. Louis could only see his back.

Louis: "Haz, there you are. I was worried. Are you okay?"

Louis got closer with every word. He studied Harry's moments and realised that he was breathing heavily and wiping something off his face. Louis rushed to Harry and took his face into his hands. Harry tried to cover his face but Louis stopped that. Harry was crying.

Louis: "Babe what's wrong?"

Harry didn't answer. Louis kneeled in front of Harry, still holding his face.

Louis: "Please talk to me, Harry. I can't help you if you don't let me."

Harry tried to talk but he couldn't speak, he was crying too much.

Harry: "I *sob* can't *sob* Lou."

Harry wasn't able to say anything else before he broke down crying hysterically. Louis knew that Harry would let him know what upset him when he was able to so he decided to calm him down. Louis took a seat next to Harry and pulled the large man into his lap. Harry pressed his whole body against Louis, he was shaking from all the crying. His head was nuzzled into Louis's neck and the warmth of Louis's body calmed him down. At least a little. Louis rubbed Harry's back and played with his hair, he could feel that Harry was starting to calm down but he decided to not ask about the reason for his sadness. If Harry was ready to talk about it he would tell him. They sat like this for an hour straight before Harry had calmed down. Louis picked up Harry's chin and kissed his little nose.

Louis: "Let's get breakfast."

Both of them got up and went back to the house where Louis started making breakfast. Harry just sat on the couch watching Louis cook, every now and then a small sob was still escaping his mouth. Louis had still no clue what had caused Harry so much distress and he flinched every time he heard another sob.

After they had finished breakfast in silence Harry spoke up.

Harry: "I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you but..."

He had to swallow down his tears before moving on.

Harry: "But every word I said felt like it was taking my breath away. I ... I felt like I was strangling myself when I spoke."

Louis reached for Harry's hand and held it firmly. He started drawing little hearts on his palm and it seemed like the little hearts were the only thing he cared about. It took Louis a hot second to answer Harry.

Louis: "It's fine. I know that you didn't choose to not tell me and even if you would choose to not tell me it would still be okay. You don't have to tell me anything, but you can tell me everything. You know that right?"