Chasing the Clouds || H.S. [ONGOING]

Fifty-Nine

"I tell myself you don't mean a thing
And what we got, got no hold on me.
But when you're not there, I just crumble.
I tell myself I don't care that much.
But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch.
Only love, only love can hurt like this."

Song: Only Love Can Hurt Like This — Paloma Faith

++++++

𝓢𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟏

"Mom, you are never going to guess what just happened to me today," Andie said immediately when she got her on FaceTime that evening.

"What?" Her mom asked, looking excited.

"You remember the boy from camp? You know... thee boy."

"Yeah."

"He goes to my fricken' school," Andie told her incredulously.

"Nooo," her mom gasped, looking completely shocked.

"I'm not even kidding," Andie said, letting out a weighted breath.

"Wow."

"It gets worse," Andie continued, making a distressed face.

"Worse?" Her mom questioned, looking confused.

"He's literally best friends with Harry and all our friends," Andie said as a deep frown found its way onto her face.

"What!?" Her mom yelped.

"It's so bad. It's so bad, Mom," Andie whined, closing her eyes, thinking about it all over again.

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yes."

"Did he recognize you?"

"Yes."

"Oh, wow."

"And Harry looked so confused," Andie whined, feeling like she was going to cry.

The way he left her house earlier that afternoon didn't sit right with her. She knew it was a huge bombshell that was dropped on him and he needed some time to really process it, but she couldn't pretend like it didn't hurt. It was like he could barely look at her, like his whole view of her had changed the second Zayn said her name in that cafeteria.

"What did he say?" Her mom asked, looking shocked and intrigued at the same time.

"I mean, he obviously had a lot of questions."

"Did you... did you tell him what happened with you and... what's his name?" She asked carefully.

"Zayn."

"Yeah, Zayn. Did you tell him what happened between you and Zayn at camp?"

"I mean, yeah. I'm not going to lie to him. I want to be as truthful as possible, you know. It's kind of a big secret to keep," Andie explained.

"Yeah."

"God, I hate this," Andie whined, feeling her stomach turn and her chest tighten with anxiety.

"I told you, honey. Sex only makes things more complicated," her mom chimed in, causing her to let out another whine.

"Everything's so complicated," Andie gushed dramatically, feeling like she actually might break down and cry.

"Do you really think this is going to screw things up with Harry? I mean, is your relationship so fragile that he would really let this come between you? What happened with you and Zayn is practically ancient history, isn't it?"

"I really hope it doesn't change anything. I mean, I feel like our friendship is pretty strong, you know. And like, bringing me to dinner with his family was like, a huge step for him."

"Andie, I don't want to bring you down or anything, but if Harry lets this come between the two of you, then maybe he's just not the right guy for you," her mom told her bluntly.

With her words, Andie immediately felt a massive lump grow in her throat and tears well in her eyes. She didn't even want to think about that. She was so in love with Harry and losing him would absolutely decimate her.

"If he doesn't realize what he has right in front of him... if he can't realize how good he has it with you... how amazing you are, then maybe he's not worth it," her mom continued.

"Mom, stop," Andie croaked as her face scrunched up with emotion.

"I'm sorry, baby. I really am. But someone needs to say it. I know you really like him and you've put a lot into your relationship with him in the short time you've known him. But honey, he is so emotionally unavailable. It's not healthy."

Tears dripped out of Andie's eyes as her heart constricted painfully in her chest. She knew deep down that she had turned a blind eye to all of Harry's red flags. But her mom was wrong. He was worth it. She knew he was.

The way he made her feel was unlike anything she'd ever felt in her whole life. And she'd give anything to feel that now, in that moment. She just hoped his feelings for her wouldn't change. She was sure she couldn't handle it.

"I need to... I need to go," Andie said, wiping at her eyes.

"Andie. Honey, please. I'm sorry," her mom apologized immediately.

"No. It's okay, Mom. I just... I just really need to be alone right now," Andie told her quietly.

"Honey, don't dwell on this too much. Not until you're able to talk to Harry again and clear the air a bit."

"Yeah," Andie said softly. She knew that was absolutely not going to happen. All she could do was dwell on it.

"I love you so much, Andria. I hope you know that," her mom cooed.

"I know."

"Relationships are hard. I've been there, honey. I mean, not in the exact situation you're in, but you know, in other situations. You'll get through this and it will make you stronger, I promise," her mom told her.

"I hope so," Andie sighed.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

"Please call me again soon. I'm worried about you," her mom said, her expression filled with concern.

"I will. I'll be okay," Andie promised her.

"Okay, honey. I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah."

"Bye, baby."

"Bye, Mom."

When the call ended, Andie threw her phone on the bed and laid down, grabbing the pillow next to her. She pressed it against her face and screamed as loud as she could. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated?