For 16 years, Lisa is living under the name of her twin sister, Reese. She didn't have a name to keep. Reese is not born healthy and as her twin sister, Lisa became the source of her sister's life for years. The only identity that she can keep is be...
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There she is again.
Turning her back on me as she runs away. But my feet made steps to run after her. No matter how many times she do this, I always find myself running after her. Nothing about this easy for the both of us. When I reached the door, I saw her standing there watching Lucas leave riding on a horse. She turned to the other horses on the field, she was about to walk to get herself a ride too but she didn't move and just watch him leave. I notice how her shoulders fell and brush her hair with her fingers.
She took a little while to contemplate this battle in herself if she will follow him or not. I can see her pacing there, uneasiness is written across her face but she ended up not doing it.
She's not running after him.
When she finally turned around, she didn't expect me to be there silently watching her. Her eyes are glistening with tears but for some reason, I always, always find her stunning in every way. Even with the way her hair slowly tangle with the soft breeze of the air makes her look ethereal. She firmly closed her eyes and just lowers her gaze, looking completely helpless. I decided to finally walk towards her and she remained looking down, escaping my eyes.
"Come here." I whispered and reaches for her hand. I pulled her in my arms and she let herself melt in my chest. I gave her comforting rubs on her shoulders and cups her cheek as I look down on her. "For a second, you scared me to death." I whispered, staring at her. "You could've ran after him. But you chose not to."
She looked up to me. "Should I though?" She asked and turned to look at the way where Lucas went to.
"No." I answered. "Don't run away from me." I said and held her hand tighter. "Stay with me."
She sighed and squeezed my hand too. Then she shifted her eyes to my wound who needs to be attended to. "Come on. Let me get you cleaned up." She said and takes my hand as we walk to her cabin not too far away from here. I didn't say anything again and just held her hand tighter as she walks before me.
She remained quiet as she pulls me to sit on the stool by the kitchen counter. I waited her to come back and this time she had a medical kit. Her silence scares me. I might have known her for years, knew how she keep up with those masks she has been wearing but I can see her through them. And as I watch her carefully clean my wound, she's bare. Her eyes looked painful and she can't even stop those building tears in them until they freely fall on her cheek.
I understand her. Trust me. I do. Lucas was a huge part of this escape. He was there to help her get through what she went through to recover from our painful destruction of each other. Lucas for her is like Jieun for me. We can't let them go that easily unless they are the ones who will leave us behind. Because we needed someone to help us recover from the things we did to hurt ourselves.
Both of us are terrified to be together. Come on, we could be happy today and we never know-- tomorrow we might fuck each other up again. That cycle went on for a very long time and we both considered giving each other up for something we thought could make us happy. But it wasn't like that. We will always end up like this because we are the only ones who can break each other but also fix those scattered pieces together.
