Perfectly Imperfect

~40~

                                ~KUNMI~

I stared at the message, hands frozen on my phone.

Oluwabukunmi Afolabi!!

Of course, it was Tara. No one else called me like that. When was the last time we saw each other? The last time I saw her?

In Royal's high recording studio, bleeding to death because she had apparently slit her own wrist.

My 14 year old best friend had gotten to that point where she could actually think to kill herself and she actually had the courage to pick a blade and to slit her own wrist.

God! Kunmi, it's really you.

Do you have an idea how much I've searched for you? It's like you simply vanished from earth

There were still tons of messages after that but I couldn't bring myself to even read. That was Tara? Really? I did not even know what to say. Everything that I had forced myself to forget over the years were threatening to resurface, how everything happened, Debby Atafo and her clique, the taunts, the bullying, then Tara, music, piano lessons, our music teacher and how it ended with me walking into the recording room to meet my only friend passed out and in the pool of her own blood.

"Kunmi, are you okay?"

Adam asked suddenly and I startled out of my reverie, my phone dropping to the ground. He picked it up before I got to it and he handed it to me while looking at me quizzically.

"You look like you just saw a ghost. Are. You. Okay?"

He asked, his eyes still not leaving mine and I nodded or did I shook my head? I wasn't sure.

"Are you sure? Do you want to return home?"

"Yes... I mean No."

I heaved a sigh. I wasn't even sure what I wanted. Did I really want go return home? Stayed holed up in my room where my thoughts would spring up unsuppressed? I didn't want that. I just wanted to forget.

I've always wanted to forget.

I've even forgotten for the better part of the last year but she was in my dm now and I'd be forced to remember whether I like it or not.

Adam was still looking at me quizzically, a frown and a puzzled look on his face as if trying to gauge my expression.

"We can always return if you want us to."

I shook my head and muttered a quiet no. I needed this cool breeze to calm my nerves and to reorganize my thoughts. I heaved a sigh, trying to think about what to think of what to do. Why would she even message me? Wasn't she supposed to be mad at me? And again, I could always ignore her messages but then, if she was willing to talk to me, do I really get to choose to ignore her?

I closed my eyes. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep. I just wanted to forget everything, get it off my chest.

"What was that? Did you see something?"

Adam asked again, his tone worried and I shook my head.

"No, not exactly. It's just a message from an old friend."

An old friend.

"It doesn't seem to be a good one."

I said nothing, staring into oblivion. Of course it wasn't a good one. I blinked and turned towards him. His whole attention was on me and he looked really worried.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked away from him. The night was very dark with a very sad sky. I mean, there was no moon and no stars, just endless dark skies.