divorced

not acting the same

After comforting Santi, they both went to class, Santi to the front, mew to the back, Santi kept his head to his hand, looking forward not knowing what to do, mew had his head turned to the only empty seat right next to him.
He signed with worry.
Gulf...... Where are you?
In the bathroom they once shared, gulf was to the stall with his body to it, head hung, a hand over his mouth, tears were streaming down. His heart was breaking after what he just saw.
You Gulf...... Are an idiot......mew has Santi...... Rather what they have is questionable or not.......I...... Saw how much he loved him...... This..... Isn't right..... What you have been doing...... Just isn't right......
Gulf then screamed into his mouth.
I need to stop loving him....... Need to let him go...... This cant happen anymore....... But.,... But.....
Gulf then slide down the stall wall.
Damn it! Why did I have to fall for him! Why did I have to go to that party....... All what I'm feeling..... All this pain and angst.....I deserve for being with someone else's man....... This is my fault......
Shaking his head, gulf got up to go home, he didn't want to see mew or Santi, not while his heart was breaking.
Faking an illness, gulf stayed home for two horrible weeks, gulf didn't go to school or work, he stayed to his room, didn't go out for anything except food, which he only retrieve when he's parents left for work. His brother eyed gulf when he came out a bit confused with his deamnor, but let him be.
By the start of the 3rd week, gulf was to his bathroom, dressed for school to take deep breathes, he didn't want to go back, however there wasent anything he could do about it.
Peering his eyes to the side, he saw his phone go off again. For the entirety of the two weeks mew texted him, trying to find out where he was and what he was feeling and if they could talk. Gulf ignored them all, he even took off his bracelet and stored it away in his cloest, he couldn't stomach the gift anymore.
Grabbing his phone, he turned it off, to then go to the kitchen to start on breakfest. Sitting to the table, he looked to his food, a bit dazed, his heart was shattered, gulf didn't know quite how to go about this, how to tell mew they needed to end what they had, that he needed to go back to Santi and leave him alone.
Coming down, his brother went to the kitchen to eye gulf. Growing in concern, he then went to sit next to him.
"Gulf?"
He gulped.
"Mm?"
"What is going on? Why are you so...... Depressed?"
Gulf shrugged.
"Come on gulf. I'm your brother, I really want to know."
Gulf turned his head.
"Why..... Didn't you tell mom and dad about....."
"Mmm, is this about your boyfriend then? Are you not seeing each other because you think I am going to tell? Gulf.... Listen....I don't care who you love..... I'm over Joyed you have someone who makes you happy."
Gulfs eyes widen to peer them down, tears then went down.
His brothers eyes widen to then stand to go to him to wrap his arms about.
"Gulf, why are you crying?"
"I'm.....a.... Terrible person.......I....... He had someone else.......I.... Don't deserve him.... Or to be happy....... What I am feeling now..... Is what I deserve....."
His brothers eyes darted to make a face.
"He......has someone else?"
Gulf nodded.
"He..... Is living with his boyfriend who..... Does......questionable things...... How we are..... Just kind of.... Happened..... But I knew it was wrong...... Very wrong.... But....I...."
His brother took a deep breathe to step back a bit, to place his hands to his face, there eyes darted.
"Gulf..... You may be in the wrong, but so is he, this person shouldn't have gone after you if he had a boyfriend."
Gulf took a deep breathe to stand, he peed his eyes to the floor to take his brothers hands away.
"That's why...... This needs to end....."
His brother then watched has gulf turned to go leaving for school.
Walking to school, gulf kept his head down, taking deep breathes.
I...... Need to end this....... He needs his boyfriend, I'm nothing more then a sex friend...... He couldn't have been close to saying he loved me...... That's probably just my wishful thinking...... We are nothing more then just friends....... Probably..... Not even truly that.....
To class, he was the first one there, placing his head to his hand, he watched has the room started to fill, he gulped to hang his head has he saw Santi enter, then turned his head when mew went to sit right next to him.
Mew seeing gulf, took a deep breathe in, to angle himself close.
"Gulf....... Are you.... Okay?"
He shrugged.
"Gulf......I need to tell you about what happened that day.......I can understand that confused you and....."
Gulf took a deep breathe in to turn his head to eye mew, with no expression.
"I..... Don't want to talk about it. You..... Were being there for your boyfriend. I understand mew..... Really I do....."
Mew flexed his jaw.
"Then..... Why were you gone for two weeks? Why didn't you pick up your phone when I....."
Gulf shrugged to turn his head forward.
"I..... Was sick..... My...... Phone also didn't work......"
Mew looked about gulf, eyeing his cold deamnor to take a deep breathe in, he then eyed his wrist that had the bracelet to it, now it was gone.
"Gulf....... Where is...... The bracelet I gave you for....."
Gulf shrugged.
Mew peered his eyes down, tears then welled up. Moving himself forward, he looked to the teacher fighting against them.
"Gulf......... Are we..... Still going to meet this Wednesday in our room?"
Gulfs eyes widen to part his lips, he then gritted his teeth.
That's..... All you are too him gulf...... Just a sex friend...... That's all you have ever been...... He isn't getting it from Santi so he goes after you......
Gulf took a deep breathe.
"Mmm, I..... Guess......."
Mew hung his head to nod.
He could tell what gulf had seen impacted him dearly, rather he said it or not. Now mew just wanted to be with gulf and he knew the only place they could be together, would be in that room. This is what his lie cost him, a real relationship with this boy.
However, for the next 3 months, gulf made excuses every time, the two only met in that room four times and they didn't have sex just was there to do there homework in silence. Neither didn't know what really to say to the other, mew tried during school to tell gulf about what happened that day, but he wouldn't hear of it, the only good thing was the girl Santi mentioned and a false pregnancy test, after that scare, santi's parties dwindled and he only was with men.
However, mew missed what was developing between gulf and him, but didn't quite know how to bring it back.
By the 6th month, he was laying to his bed, looking to the ceiling deep in thought trying to figure out something.
Turning his head, he then got up, to retrieve his phone to look at it.
Gulf?
He then answered to hear crying on the other end.
"Gulf? What is...."
"Mew.....I.... Need you to listen.....I...... Can't do this anymore..... Can't meet up with you anymore.... Talk to you anymore..... After..... What I saw happened between you and Santi......I should have ended it right then and there but....I....... Just couldn't.... I'm.... Sorry..... I'm selfish and greedy..... I took you away from your boyfriend..... I'm...... Not going to do that anymore......."
Mew stood to dart his eyes.
"Gulf...... Please...... You don't understand......I need to tell you....."
"Mew! I don't want to hear it okay! You...... Need to go back to Santi and work things out between the two of you....... Were just..... Sex friends...... And that needs to end...."
Mew gritted his teeth.
"Gulf.... You know we are more then that...... Gulf.......I love you.... Please you need to listen to....."
"No mew! I won't listen! And..... Don't say that.....I saw the two of you..... Saw how you.... Were taking care of him........ I'm sorry mew..... It's over....... Leave me alone....."
Mew let his phone drop through his fingers, to then move back to sit to his edge, tears streamed down.
To gulf, he was too his side, squeezing a pillow to his chest, to cry silently.
I'm..... So sorry mew! So very sorry! This is my fault.......I..... Love you..... That's why..... I'm doing this..... You can't be really in love with me..... You have Santi..... Im.... Just confusing you..... I'm..... So very sorry mew..... I'll...... Go away..... Then you two can fix whatever is wrong. I'll..... Just go away......
Gulf squeezed the pillow tighter, to let the fresh warm tears keep falling, he was unaware however, mew had thought of a plan and was going to go ahead with it the very next day.