33- Meaningless Desire

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[[ I do NOT own the art or music. Please enjoy this chapter - L RANDY ]]
TW: INSINUATION OF SUICIDE

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{Silas}

The room was eerily quiet, not even his breath could be heard as he laid across the hotel bed. Late afternoon light peeked through the balcony window, lighting the room in a bright wash of orange.
The man clutched onto a torn piece of a pillowcase and used his other forearm to cover his eyes as he thought of crazed images. All the blood and body parts that have littered the holding cells after his interrogations got him nowhere. He thought of what he would do to the person, or people, aiding the princess on whatever journey she was on.
Silas's eyes were puffy from sobbing uncontrollably just minutes before and shading them was bringing some comfort but not enough. How much he missed, craved, needed Princess Alana of Taycia could not be described with words.

It has been months since he last saw her, and with each passing day, he felt himself growing mad.
The only true comfort he felt was when he could retreat into his crumbling mind and picture their times together.
He raised the cloth to his nose and inhaled, slipping into his detached bliss.
"Si!" The princess called over to her guard who was just leaving the training hall.
He rolled his eyes at the long-haired teen that was already skipping over to him.
She wore all her jewels and gold which caused a twinkling sound as she moved.
"Princess," Silas bowed his head. "I apologize if you were waiting for me."
Alana scoffed with a giggle, roughly patting the guard's shoulder.
"Do not apologize over silly things, Si." She playfully demanded, hooking her arm with his.
"I wanted to go on a walk in the gardens," Alana told him as they walked arm and arm.
"The gardens are perfectly safe and guarded, you may stroll there whenever you would like," Silas replied distantly.
"I wanted on a walk in the gardens with you." She rephrased with a cheeky smile.
Silas's heart soared at her words, but he remained cool on the outside.
"Whatever you desire, Princess."
Alana squeezed his arm in hers. "Thank you!" She cheered.

Alana sat on her bed, moping over a rude tutor as Silas stood by listening to her complaints without one of his own.
She was taking off her jewelry one piece at a time during pauses in her rant.
"I just wish everyone was like you, Si." She added innocently but the statement made his heart rate spike.
"Ow!" Alana groaned as she went to remove her headpiece.
"Silas, help, help, help!"
Her hair was knotted around one of the jewel-encrusted strands, and she attempted to rip the headdress off.
Silas rolled his eyes at her panicky reaction, moving closer to work the knot.
"Whatever you desire, Princess."

"Silas,"
"Si!"
"Hey, Si!"
"Can you brush my hair, Si?"
"Si, can we go steal ice cream from the kitchen?"
"You're amazing, Si!"
"Si, can you stay in my room tonight? I had a nightmare."
"Si, you look so handsome!"
"I love you, Si."

Silas thought of everything, all their days together, all the sweet things that escaped her lips. The tears threatened to spill again as he pictured her beauty.

It has been so long... I can barely picture her in my head, her beauty is beyond my own comprehension. Why? Why, princess? Why did you leave me? Were you not happy? Did I not make you happy? I did whatever you desired of me, I did my best, so why!? Why are you gone?! I need you so badly! I want you! Please... He sniffled. Please return to my side... I feel so lost... so empty... without you I am meaningless.

Silas's mind was wrapped in torture, he inhaled more of Alana's scent lingering on her old pillowcase scrap.
"Alana..." He whispered to himself just to taste her sweet name.
He was partially hoping he would hear a response but only the daunting silence answered back with cruel hollowness.
He uncovered his eyes and his chestnut brown orbs flickered to his sword that lay propped in the corner, though without his glasses it was a white blur.

Without her... I am meaningless...

Before he could get carried away with his thoughts, rapping on his window drew his immediate alarm. He snapped straight up, snatching his glasses and shoving them on to see who could be on his balcony.

His jaw clenched in anger as he identified the fox mask. He stood from his bed, and stalked over to the window door, allowing the fox in.
"No hello?" Mamoru fake pouted stepping into a similar hotel room.
"Have you tracked her again?" Silas cut to the chase.
"Again, no hello?" Mamoru plopped down on the bed.
Silas pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"I have not heard a single word from you since Ekapan, almost a month ago. What makes you so deserving of decency? Now, again, have you tracked her?"
"Oh, she sends her regards, and she wants you to know she is okay." Mamorusaid, watching Silas's face closely.
"What?" Silas snapped. "You have seen her? Where? When? Why are you here?"Silas asked rapid-fire.
Mamoru had to stifle a laugh.
"I cannot tell you that, 'Si'." Mamoru mimicked Alana's nickname for him.
"Why the hell not?!" Silas shouted, his heart racing in his chest.
"It would ruin both the surprise and the fun," Mamoru explained.

Silas moved forward, all intention of attacking the fox no matter if he was a match or not.

"You know I am in love with her, right?" Mamoru bluntly asked before Silas could get to him. Silas stopped dead in his tracks.
"What?" He deadpanned.
"You know I am in love with Alana," Mamoru repeated carefully. "That is why she went from two personal guards to one. You knew I had the same feelings as you and used your connections to have me transferred to the assassins."
"What is your point?" Silas snapped, not wanting to hear any more about another man loving his princess.
"My 'point', is that I also would never let any harm come to her." Mamorucontinued. "If she was unsafe or in harm's way, I will rescue her, just like today," Mamoru added the last part just to see another amusing reaction.
"Today? Did she need to be rescued? What happened? That means she is here?" Silas again lost his cool.
Mamoru raised his hand out flat towards the guard.
"Just a demon situation, anyway, she is fine. The point is, no harm will come to her so try not to have an aneurism before you find her... or stare too long at your blade."
Silas did not know whether to cry, smile, or kill something.
"Does that mean she is here in Bizia?" He asked.
Mamoru simply shrugged.
"Take me to her!" Silas demanded.
Mamoru chuckled.
"No, as I said, that is no fun." The fox pushed himself off the bed.
"You have to chase what you want, four-eyes, and pray no one beats you to it."

Mamoru disappeared from the room leaving Silas with the looming advice.

That damned fox... Where is she?!

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