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During the Chitauri Invasion back in 2012, Y/N L/N met the god of mischief in person. After fighting against the weird creatures to save her students, she was saved by Loki as an act of compassion.
It seemed that there was more to h...
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》Y/N's POV
It's been a couple of days since Loki dismissed me. I'm still angry at him. I went back to working, guarding Loki as usual and accompanying him to the library to get down to business and try to find answers to what's wrong with me.
Every second I'm with him is agony. Sometimes I feel like he wants to say something, but he always holds back, and I thank him for it because even his voice annoys me. The only way I'd listen to him is by handing him books, but even at this point I feel like we're never really going to find an actual answer. There's so many books in this library, and if by now there's not a single clue to what could be going on within me, then I don't think that this has an explanation.
Something must have happened that day in New York, because if books cannot tell us what is wrong, then there must be some kind of answers from that day.
I just want to find a way to get this over with. I want to go home, this place isn't for me and being stuck with the god of mischief isn't quite what I had planned for my future.
I'm just frustrated. I know that no matter what, at the end Odin will find out that we have all been lying to him about who I am and why I'm here. I don't think I can deal with Loki for a whole year, and I'm not even sure of my capability to stay sain.
Sometimes I go to sleep at night hoping that I can wake up in the morning and realize that this was all just a dream. I've actually considered various times that perhaps I am in a coma after what happened in New York and I'm just stuck in my own head, but in the end I know that it is not a product of my imagination. Everything is very real, my pain is real, Loki is real... Perhaps I'll ask Loki to take my memories away once I return to Earth so I can forget this ever happened. It will be like waking up from a bad dream.
As days go by I know that my situation is worsening. Though I came here to heal I feel like there's some kind of power pulling on me. As if there's something hidden in this world that heightened this weird feeling in me. Not even the cocoon-like-thing that Thor had casted for me on the very first day is working like it did before. Though it helps me sleep and it blocks away the nightmares, I can still feel an odd pull and I have strange visions.
Last night I had one of those visions, it was blurry but I can remember a few things. It was a dark room, there was absolutely nothing yet I didn't feel alone, it was ominous and frightening. There was a blue light at the end, but as I got closer, it got further away from my reach. I ran towards it but I was being pulled back. It was a cycle and it felt terrifying. I wanted to wake up but couldn't. I knew that something wanted to stop me from reaching the light, but I wanted to get to it, I wanted to posses what was at the other side.
The pull felt familiar, as if it was trying to keep me safe from whatever the blue light was.
I'm puzzled, lost in all my senses. I know these visions must mean something, they must be answers to what we're looking for.
