Her first time

Chapter Twenty.

"I Uhm well I sleep better when you're with me." He says almost if he's afraid to say it."Really..?" I ask him in surprise. "Yes, I do. So will you stay?" He says while he pulls me closer into his arms. I know I never want to be away from him and this feeling I'm feeling when I'm with him, but all I did since I met him is cry and I hate that. Oh, screw that what am I thinking.  I'm staying and I slept better with him next to me too."Fine, I'll stay, but for one night." I say and see the stiff frown change into a smile. He crawls onto the bed and opens the covers for me. "Uhm can I maybe get some clothes," I ask him waiting for a joke to come. "Yeah, sure." He says and stands up and tosses me a big shirt and some shorts. They are way too big so I have to roll them up on the top. The shirt is almost like a dress for me, but I can see Justin likes it. I crawl onto the bed and look up at the ceiling. It's really quiet for a while until Justin moves closer. He is lying on his side and leaning on his elbow while he tucks a tuft of hair behind my ear. My breathing begins to quicken at his touch and his hands slowly move down to my neck. He kisses me and pulls me closer to him. His hand slides down my back under the huge shirt to my breasts. I'm slowly getting goosebumps all over my body and I try to stay calm but my breathing is quicker and I'm hot and shaking. "Are you okay?" He asks with surprise. I open my eyes and look at the ceiling. "Why did you stop?" I ask him a bit scared. "You haven't been touched have you?" He asks and I know I haven't, but I'm afraid he might joke about it. "No Uhm not really," I say with a shaky voice. "What do you mean by not really? You have done things?" He asks and I actually have no idea what he means, so I'll just say something. "No, I haven't not really. Why?" I ask him still shaking. "Not even with yourself?" he says and I don't understand what he's asking and it's making me uncomfortable. "You haven't done anything with yourself?" He asks again and I'm not sure of what he's asking me, but I think I have an idea. "No, I haven't."  "Oh, Rachel where have you been all this time? You're so pure and unknown." He says he likes it and is proud of me or something. "Why did you stop? Was it me..?" "No no, Oh no Rachel. It's not that I do want to but we don't need to rush okay." He says and his voice is soft and slow and calming. "Uhm okay.." I say in surprise. He puts his arm around me and lies on his back. I put my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat. We're just laying there and I thought he wasn't the guy who would wait or respect me in that way. I slowly fall asleep listening to his heartbeat. Cold gusts of the wind wake me up. The window is open and he's sitting at the window seat looking outside."Hey, are you okay?" I ask him wondering what's going on."Yeah, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep." He says. "Why something wrong? Are you thinking about your dad?" "Don't call him that he is nothing even close to that word." He shouts angrily and starts passing around in the room. The moonlight slightly illuminates the room, but it's too dark for me to see his face and the emotion. If he even has feelings or emotions. Well, he does because he can get really mad actually and I giggle at my thoughts from the inside. "You don't have to shout at me I'm in the room with you. He is your real dad, right? Logan told me he is marrying his mother, but where is your mother?" I say sarcastically which was a bad idea. "I'm not shouting and why do you ask so many questions why won't you shut up." He shouts irritated and angry. I grab my phone and see it's 3.00 am and I'm really tired. Why is he so mean to me I didn't do anything wrong but be here for him. Why did I stay? "You know what Justin I am done putting up with you and you're shit. I came here because I care and hoping for you to open up to me, but I know I'm not wanted here. I'll go I'm done." I yell while I jump out of bed and walk out of the room and to my surprise, Justin doesn't follow me. "Fine." He yells from his room and I run down the stairs still wearing his clothes, but I don't care I need to get out of here as quick as possible. I open the front door en shut it behind me. I'm glad it's summer because otherwise, I wouldn't go back in these shorts and a T-shirt.