Her first time

Chapter Thirty-Three.

I had only three bites of my burger when Kevin and Riley walk in. "Hey, guys what have you been up to? " Riley says with her annoying high-pitched voice while she takes a seat next to Justin."Nothing, we're just grabbing a bite, but we're going now, Rachel" Justin says before I can even open my mouth to answer for myself. Kevin takes a seat next to me and puts his arm around me. I don't know why, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable right now.

 I see Justin staring at Kevin with anger in his eyes and I know that can mean no good. "Where have you been mate? We missed you at the party last night. You guys are already leaving? " Kevin says to Justin. I can't take my eyes off Riley who is trying to play with Justin's hair. She just can keep her hands off him, and I can't help but feel angry and irritated because of it and maybe even a little jealous, which I of course will never admit.

 "Good I need a ride back I'm meeting Trish," Riley says trying to come with us. I look at Justin hoping he gets my stare and doesn't let her come with us. "What we just came here. No Riley, you can't just leave." Kevin says in annoyance, but Riley doesn't seem to care about Kevin she only cares about Justin. Riley is all over him and he seems to be annoyed with her "Riley fuck off. Keep your hands to yourself!" Justin says annoyed while he smashes her hand away. "Oh, are you angry with me.." She says playfully. "Shut up Riley," Justin says angry, and gives me the keys. 

"What?" I don't understand why he wants to leave all of a sudden, but I have to admit I don't want to stay either. "Just go wait in the car. I'll only be a few minutes." He says and smiles at me. It makes me feel angry and hurt when he pushes me away when his friends are around. He is so different with them. I look him in the eyes to make sure I need to leave. His eyes say enough and I stand up and climb past Kevin out of the booth. "I'll be waiting in the car, don't be too long. Bye guys. " 

And I know that when I turn around Riley is going to be all over him the minute I walk away. I tell myself not to look back and just go to the car. When I'm finally waiting in the car, seconds feel like minutes and the minutes feel like hours. After a while, the driver seat door opens. It's Justin. "That took you long enough, What did she want?" I say annoyed and toss him the keys. "Nothing Rachel, and if she did I'm not giving it to her. Can we go now?" 

Saturday afternoon. he asks annoyed while he starts the car. "Yeah sure. Are you okay?" "Yes, I'm totally fine." We drive back to campus, and sadly I think our nice time in our little bubble ends here. Justin's mood changed and I'm feeling anything, but myself. The whole way back to the campus there is this weird silence, that I have never experienced with Justin. Finally, in the parking lot, I say "I think I'm going to tell Eliot about us." His eyes meet mine and there turning in this black haze again. "You what? Why? Look if you wanna dump mister high school fine, but don't do it for me."

 Is he denying what we have? Is he that kind of a jerk, how dare he after everything we've been through and what we've done together? " Wh__? w__ wha__What?" I stutter trying to keep myself together this time. "Just like I said, there is no us. I don't date. I don't know what you thought but you thought wrong. I never dated and I won't start now" He shouts and his harsh words make me want to cry and scream at him, I honestly thought this was going somewhere. But just like he said I thought wrong, again. 

I just thought after the time we'd spent and the nights we spent together things would be diffrent. I try to stop it, but my eyes start watering and I know he saw that. "Look the time we spent was great and fun, but dating just isn't for me." " Fun..? You thought what we did was fun? It was my first time doing things like that and you thought it was fun" "Yeah it was just some fun nothing serious. Trust me I'm the wrong person for you," he says with more sympathy in his voice. "No, you don't get to make that decision for me. 

And you are a little late with that." I yell at him and get out of the car. I smash the car door close as hard as I can. Of course, it starts raining. I run over the parking lot to my dorm block. I slow down a bit when I'm almost there, hoping Justin will come running after me and apologizes and kiss me in the rain. But that only happens in movies, doesn't it? Sadly I'm not playing in a movie or tv-show, this is my life and it's real. When I walk up the stairs to my dorm I wipe away my tears. "Hey, beautiful." A voice says and I look up to see it's Eliot.