The Blue Diamond | JJK 🔞

55 What's Life without Some Risks?

*Jin's POV*

It's been quiet around. Awfully quiet. Not that I am hoping to see any sort of tantrum again going on in my house, but everything is strange. It has to be at some point. We all know what we've done, and we also know we're at the fault, but no one has courage to come up and own it. Again, not that I'm hoping any of it.

The screen of my phone illuminates the contact number of Eli brightly. A long and heavy sigh passes as I try to find any reasonable reason to call her and tell her sorry. I am fond of Eli more than anyone could ever be and I wanted to keep it that way. This could've been stopped, but nothing can be undone at this point.

Shame and guilt is all on the other side while sorrow is on the other.

According to Yoongi, Eli is gonna come to Seoul anytime soon and I guess it is for the best. And talking about her, comes the name of Rony. Rony is on the run. No one knows where he is except Namjoon and I am not sure what he is thinking anymore. I am starting to doubt his own mantra of work now that I have followed with blind eye for years. He isn't the one I used to remember. But the small voice in my head screams the otherwise. 'Can we actually blame him?'

Answering my question, a knock appears on the door. I see Namjoon standing through the half open door and for some reason, my heart skips a beat.

"Come in." I say rather softly and he slowly enters the room closing the door behind while keeping his eyes lower on the ground. Locking my phone, I set it aside on the floor and watch Namjoon coming closer. Sighing, I shift on the floor making room for him by the foot of the bed. "Sit." He does, crouching silently and setting himself next to me. His arm sticks with mine and it is still surprising how easily my body relaxes against his. Seconds pass and minutes fly by, but he remains silent. I can tell he is contemplating a lot in his head, but can't bring himself to speak. Only the voice of our breaths can be heard and before I could ask him why he is here, he finally speaks.

"I get it I am the bad guy here." His voice is slow and silent that I almost didn't hear. I whirl my head to his direction and find him still looking at the ground. "You don't have to remind me anymore..." he sighs, "I knew it from the start... but I was in denial." He is trying so hard to not to break down. "I..." finally his voice quivers, "I was scared." My breath rages up at his confession. I wasn't really ready for this. "I was scared that I might lose him. And I was angry," he hides his face in his hands and my posture straightens in an instant, "I was angry at myself. I didn't know what to do or how to act, so I did what looked reasonable to me." Rubbing his face vigorously in frustration, he sighs.

"Joon," my own voice cracks up and I take his hand in mine, ushering him to look at me but he shakes his head retrieving his hand back and still refusing to look at me.

"Hyung, I did the damage..." his voice keeps quivering. I have never- I repeat, I have never seen Namjoon so vulnerable. "And now... it is too late to tend the wounds." I shudder when his voice croaks up. A little wet spot appears on his jeans and I put my hand on his shoulder. "He must hate me so much." This could be the memorable moment of my life, watching Joon cry, but that doesn't means he should cry. Maybe it is for good, to let it all out at once and be free later to make everything alright. Everyone commit mistakes, but the mistake he has done is pretty big to cover it up.

"Come here." I whisper pulling him close and he gladly hides his face in my chest as he silently sobs. Each and every shattered breath he takes breaks my heart painfully.

"He hates me." He cries. To Namjoon, Jungkook is the most important part of his life. He was his first friend, a friend that shared same interests as him and same thoughts as him. Joon loved whenever Jungkook would visit him or either way around, but at some point, Jungkook was forced to stop going out of his house let alone traveling to different city. Because of his mental illness, his parents were scared to send him outside of their four walls. And hence he became socially inept. Well, until he met Soo-yeon. But we all know how it went.