The Blue Diamond | JJK 🔞

58 Silver Lining

"You haven't broken up with Jungkook, right?" Lilly pipes happily as I get luggage out of the trunk.

"I still have no clue." I sigh loudly after setting my bags on the floor and Lillian immediately pouts.

"Then why are you going to Korea? Aren't you going to patch it up?" I chuckle. Standing in front of  her, I examine her now taller frame. She is getting taller day by day.

"It's supposed to be that way I guess." I shrug my shoulders and look around. The entrance gate of airport is getting crowded and I don't want to be late and stand in cue for hours.

"Stop bothering your sister, Lilly." Mom walks towards her and hushes her making her scowl. We both end up laughing at her.

"Hey," I swing my arm around her, pulling her closer to me, "come here." I tightly hug her. "Be a good girl to mom." I whisper in her ear.

"I am good at being a better daughter." She states and I chuckle.

"Yeah, right." Nevertheless, none of us breaks the hug. Lilly and I haven't actually parted our ways in past. This must be the first time for me leaving her behind and going far away to the distance beyond the country. Either we go together, or we don't go. In my life, I have never considered a moment to go somewhere far away from home without her, and maybe that's the reason why I was so hesitant when Jungkook offered me to go to Saint-Marie with him.

But now, leaving without her doesn't feels so bad after all. She has mom now, she'll be fine. Lilly has never experienced the love of parents fully and now when the life is giving her a chance to experience it, I don't want her to miss it. She has the right to stay happy and in the span of few weeks I have seen how coordinated her and mom had become and it relieves me to the greatest extent. I can finally go away without any fear.

"Have a safe flight, honey." Mom mumble hugging me extra tight and I wave away to both of them before entering the security check and in a matter of few hours, I am flying. I am finally going to Seoul and see Jungkook after so many days. Maybe after seeing him, I'll be able to deal with this mess or maybe I'll have enough courage to face everything. All I need to know is if Jungkook is fine.

On my way, I have played more than just one scenario to how everything's gonna go. I am not expecting everything to go my way, but also I am not expecting it to go downhill.

Jungkook and I, I don't know how to put both of us in one sentence. Our names together sound so forbidden yet so beautiful. I guess it is only to me. I won't call our relationship any 'love story' sort of thing, it is just life. Our lives are just a little extraordinary. The more we wish to live a normal life, the more twisted our situation becomes.

Had I ever imagined when I first saw him that I'd be facing something like this. He made me curious about him and his own life. He tried to be as discreet as possible and that made me even more curious. That's right we live in completely different worlds; we're polar opposite of each other. But we still love each other. I guess that's what life is all about. We face the most unexpected things in our life and I won't blame if anything unexpected happens with me at this point.

But... will I forgive him?

What pained me the most is not the betrayal. What pained me was the fact that it was all about diamonds. They came to Chicago because of diamonds and they met me because of diamonds. Nothing of them feels real, the feeling, the friendship- it all feels so fake.

I found friends in them- Rose, Jisoo, Jin- they all became so close to me that it pains me even more. I also became friends with Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin. Yoongi wouldn't talk much, but I enjoyed his company. None of it felt like an act- it felt so real and that saddens me. For a person like me who doesn't let people enter in their lives so easily, it is so hard. They made me feel so safe in their company- all of them. Even fucking Namjoon! Just the name of him gives me headache. I want to break his nose so bad.