Sexual Tension Squids and Other Things I've Learnt From Society

Easily Bored, Easily Distracted

Oh I forgot to tell you guys about this ages ago... You know Bitchy McWhoreSlut who I rant about now and again? Remember her fucktard boyfriend I told you about too? If not, review a few previous chapters and I am sorry for my horrible language. That's just what they are though. It's a bit sad. Anyway, apparently her boyfriend has been writing a book. 9 people die in the first chapter, I'm told. Good for him, I say. But because he's a fucktard he keeps boasting about how he's going to publish it and get lots of money and become famous and she's planning on doing the same thing. Sir, I hope you realise that if your book is crap, no one will want to publish it and you shall not get any money. Besides, stop boasting and let people read it. And woman, get better spelling and grammar before you even try. BTW she's uploaded a story onto Wattpad. I must say, it was the most psychologically disturbing thing to ever have graced my eyes and I read a lot (I mean A LOT) of different books. Just... Ew. It was sick and wrong. It was worse than that detective novel I read in which the guy found a dead woman strung upside-down in a tree with her throat slit from ear to ear, her head flopping and the wind whistling through her oesophagus. And that was feral. It's worse than the worst creepypasta. Actually, it might not be... RESEARCH!

Yes. Yes it is.

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It appears my iPad has, yet again, deleted my very large amount of writing in here. I guess I have to start again.

Does anyone else's parents make them call up people who gave them money for Christmas, thank them and then tell them what you bought? For example, one of my phone calls will go like this: "Hey uncle Wayne. Thanks for that $20 and the block of chocolate. I spent it all on Yu-Gi-Oh cards." Honestly, how are we teens supposed to explain the weird and unexpected things we do buy? And why doesn't my local nerd shop sell the really massive boxes of cards, not just the booster packs? Sure, I pretty much have a full deck, but still.

And because these are brand-spanking-just-been-designed-first-edition cards, half of them I don't know what the things even do. But the comic book guy was pretty helpful, I have three of the currently trending packs and one that was popular "about three months ago." Shut up, guy. You're nice, but I want a dragon-themed deck. Which I seem to be accomplishing with an amazing amount of luck. I quite like having vintage cards too. I know what they do. TO THE TOP OF MY WARDROBE FOR THE SEARCH OF A LIFETIME.

I found them. I think maybe 161 cards is a bit much. Or I think I'll see if they sell them at AIcon (the local convention for all things anime and to do with japanese culture) this year. I may never have too many (although mum thinks otherwise).

Wattpad recommended me a book called 'Stalked by Mr Malik'. After reading the description I realised it wasn't related to anything I'd been reading at all. Thanks Wattpad. 'Preciate all the 1D fanfics.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, MY LOVELY READERS!

You know how some people post those Facebook statuses boasting about how they'll remember the first thing they ever did in 2013 that's worth mentioning? I think I'm one of the only people on the planet who woke up and had completely forgotten I now need a new calendar. But yeah, while everyone else is off snogging their current partner or spending time with their best friends who they said they currently hated, I've locked myself in my room and watched cartoons all day because this time next year it shall be frowned upon by all the idiots who can't wait to grow up. I still have no idea what my future career is. So stuff all you people who treat me like I know everything and should behave like an adult, because I'm not, I'm 15 years old and I'll be damned if I spend New Years Day watching Yu-Gi-Oh: Season 0. Good day, sirs.

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Here, have a logic problem.

Steve is invited in a group message to go with Bob and Chris to the beach. Gary is the only one who has replied yet. Gary said no. Steve doesn't know what he's doing, so he goes and checks the weather. 38 degrees Celsius. He then goes outside. 5 minutes later, he comes back inside with sunburnt feet. Steve sits and looks at the message. The beach in question is around an hour away by car. This is what Steve is thinking: Should I travel for an hour to go to a beach with friends, or should I take 3 minutes to walk down the road because I live near a beach?

First world problems.

There's a couple of bush fires around where I live. They could worsen overnight, because there's a chance of lightning storms. Also because of the stinking hot weather. Glad I stayed inside most of the day watching Smallville in the darkness of my lounge room. So yeah, people are complaining on Facebook and I'm sitting here quite happy because I am thriving in this hot weather. I love it! I find it calming, much better than winter. Maybe it's the risk of things spontaneously combusting, I don't know. I just like it. Problem is, this place is cold nearly all year round. I hate cold. ...I'm like some sort of reptile or cold-blooded creature. Weird.