Sexual Tension Squids and Other Things I've Learnt From Society

Camp

I am a horrible person. I made a video with my Lego and action figures instead of writing my Witchcraft update. On the plus side, I actually think i did rather well.

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I FELL OFF A HORSE! So yeah, camp was fantastic. And that wasn't sarcasm.

Ok, first day my horse was perfect and I only fell off because something spooked her. My shoe ended up in a tree or something. After checking my hip wasn't broken, I got back on and continued riding. As you do. I spent the night with some of the most amazing people playing truth or dare.

Second day was pretty good, despite these two facts: first, I fainted at 4:30 in the morning and my impact woke up all 20-something people on the camp. Second, I had a small panic attack because my horse was spazzing all day and I was scared I was going to fall off and actually break something. As you do. Had a fun night with about 15 or so people crammed into a tiny room playing truth or dare in pitch black darkness. Good times.

Third day was weird. My horse was an angel. I miss her now I think about it. I SLEPT ON THE BUS HOME! I never sleep in moving vehicles.

SO IT WAS FANTASTICALLY AWESOME!

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I HAVE DISCOVERED GIZOOGLE AND ITS FUCKING BRILLIANT! Here's my first chapter of this book translated into ghetto speak:

Ok, so I type. I diss bout tha typin fo' mah other story, which I guess I should be typing, and bustin mah maths homework. There is hundredz of thangs I could be bustin muthafuckin right now n' they would be a shitload mo' productizzle than this. But hey, I guess I should document tha inna makin movesz of mah dome, y'know, fo' science and clues ta why i was murdered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Guess what, muthafucka! So school. My fuckin class was straight-up 'artistic' todizzle. Note tha quotation marks fo' realz. At lunch some muthafucka wrote 'Ishmael Jones is horny' on tha wall wit what tha fuck could gotz been Vegemite. Dogg knows anymore. Renee n' I used tha chalk dat had previously been used by some guys up in our class ta draw 8 big-ass squares on tha basketbizzle court ta graffiti tha seats. I drew a Asian lookin Iron Man, wrote derp on nuff thangs, her ass wrote her name n' drew a pizzle yo. Her maturitizzle level is sooo high... That was sarcazzle, I do hope you realised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you didn't, itz ok, I've pointed it up now, nahmeean, biatch? Our thugged-out asses then played headbutt ball, which is like hide n' seek yo, but if you git hit by a funky-ass bizzle yo ass is caught n' tha only way ta deflect it aint nuthin but ta headbutt dat shit. Our thugged-out asses had tha dopest hidin spot, wit Katie. But they bloody laughed, so our crazy-ass asses was tagged. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! How tha fuck rude.

Drama, oh how tha fuck I could go on n' on bout you fo'sho. IT'S HORRID. Well dis year anyway. Our mackdaddy treatz our asses like lil' small-ass children. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Our thugged-out asses is supposed ta be struttin on Fridizzle n' her ass has chizzled our skitz so much from tha original gangsta format. Not dat tha original gangsta was any phat up in tha straight-up original gangsta place. Except Katie can't fangirl on cue. Itz funny yo, but sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What shall our crazy-ass asses do when our crazy-ass asses finally hook up RDJ, biatch? Stand there n' shake his hand n' say 'wassup, oldschool chap. Ill ta finally hook up you fo'sho. Terrible weather our crazy-ass asses is having, aint it?' (I hope you read dat up in a posh English accent. Thatz what tha fuck it sounded like up in mah head.)

Guess what, muthafucka! Speakin of English, gotz any of y'all gangstas ever searched up mpreg on dis here Wattpad, biatch? I did fo' shitz 'n' giggles. Don't, unless you don't mind bein disturbed by One Erection inbred shizzlepings. Mpreg is weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I've accidentally read a gangbangin' few on other fanfic cribs (like FrostIron ones.) unwittingly, n' I find em a funky-ass bit creepy, a shitload of em is straight-up well written, don't git mah crazy ass wrong yo, but when yo ass is lookin fo' somethang ta read up in class when you gotz not a god damn thang ta do n' gotz ta be silent, tha last muthafuckin thang you want is ta be tryin not ta crack up cuz Tony Stark is bloody pregnant fo' realz. Although itz funk ta bust gangstas screenshotz of it n' watch they faces as they read. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afterwardz they come up ta you n' is all 'WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT?'

Like when I first heard of tha shizzlepin of FrostIron. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I tried ta type Forrest tha fuck into google images without lookin all up in tha keyboard rockin mah elbow straight-up fast n' Applez autocorrected it ta FrostIron. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I was shocked n' appalled when it didn't come up wit trees I could photoshop Slender Man into. Then I busted some lyrics ta Renee bout it fo' realz. And all mah other playas. Jeremy still looks at mah crazy ass strangely whenever Renee says it n' be all 'WHY ARE YOU READING GAY PORN!?' But one dizzle I was chillin wit Silver up in art, not bustin much, when Renee iLyrics mah crazy ass tha worst possible imagez of FrostIron her ass could find. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Letz just say I wasn't straight-up pleased. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I screamed at her afta class bout it, as tha head of IT supposedly checks our iPizzys regularly (lol, no he don't, he just monitors tha Internizzle traffic). But our crazy-ass asses laughed bout it up in tha end. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Our thugged-out asses still do. I mention I wanna chizzle mah last name ta somethang you'd gotz ta be a idiot ta misspell, like Frost, her ass goes 'lol, FrostIron'.

I seem ta attract tha crazy-ass gangstas. Maybe thatz why mah home roomz pretty phat dis year. Except fo' two buggin gangstas yo, but I can rant bout em later. I would trade both of em fo' Daphne. If I be not up in her home room next year I be complainin ta Ms Howard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Shez our vice-principle whoz ass everyone seems ta be thinkin is pure evil. But her ass gotz rid of tha two wheely bins dat was stinkin up our classroom, so thatz phat. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Our room don't stink anymore. But em random thangs is still stuck on tha roof. They gotz been there forever n' no one knows what tha fuck they are. They could be anythang, pineapple, chewin gum, maskin tape. No onez game enough ta investigate.

Eh, horny-ass shiznit might happen tomorrow. Our thugged-out asses don't gotz a lunch time cuz drama class practice thang. Grr. But itz Thorsdizzle tomorrow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethangz bound ta git hammered, literally and otherwise...

IT'S SO FUNNY! I will use it for everything forever. Especially science work. It makes life interesting.

TYPING OTHER STORY NOW! I BLOODY WELL MEAN IT!