Sexual Tension Squids and Other Things I've Learnt From Society

Strongly Dislike Is Too Weak. I Prefer Hate.

The house down the road is blasting Gangnam Style as loud as it possibly can.

I write three kinds of stories.

The first is the "Hi, this is me, I'm insane." Which is the one you are currently reading.

The second is the "OMG, I came up with an awesome idea so I'm going to write it down so I can share it with everyone!" That is Witchcraft.

The final one is the "I fucking like this idea. I'm going to turn it into a story and I don't care if no one reads it. I DO WHAT I WANT!" That's Invisible Things. Yes, the mystery story I keep complaining about finally has a leaked title. Although hopefully the first chapter is up by the time I upload this. Trust me, I'm nearly done. I just keep editing it, and even after all of that, I still hate bits of it. But I don't care anymore. I hated most of Witchcraft and that's turned out to be a bit of a hit. So anything goes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HIDDLES! HOPE YOU HAD A FANTASTIC DAY AND WE ALL LOVE YOU MUCHLY!

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It constantly frustrates me that no matter how hard I try, I can't use scissors to cut a perfectly straight line. Decorate your commonplace books, my teacher said. Make it your own, she said.

You know what I hate? Bad YouTube videos that waste my precious Internet. And people snogging on my Facebook newsfeed. Yes, it's nice you have a boyfriend and all, but a lot of us don't and it would be nice if you had some public decency.

Valentines Day is coming around again too, but the only thing I'm really giving a crap about are all the funny Valentines appearing on my Dashboard. Oh, how they murder me with their hilariousness.

I'm just going to take this moment to say that I love my iPad background. Seriously. Nothing could distract me from its existence unless Tom Hiddleston knocks on my door and asks if he can come in for tea, cookies and a movie. I just... And it's the most amazing image too. The artistry. I want it blown up and framed, just so I can have it in my house one day. And this isn't a recent thing either. If I can look at this guy every time he appears and, for 8 years, say "Unf." and have my insides completely melt, I'm pretty sure every time I walk past said framed image I would stand and stare at it for a lot longer than is needed. Or I could even just print it off the computer and blutack it to the wall. I'd be pretty happy either way. #8 years of torment (lol, there's a pun there, when I think about it. I'm not going to tell you the pun, though. That would be boring. So ha. Ha. Ha. LOL, IM SO INSANE AND WITTY. ALSO FABULOUS. BWAHAHAHAHAHA PUNS! AND YOU'LL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT.)

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Dad says I need to think about a career path. I said I've been trying to work one out for years. Like, I know I don't want to be a professional writer because I find it more fun if you're not doing it for the money, and I know I don't want to be a teacher. I want to be a historian, because I like ancient history and shit coz its interesting, but I don't think that's very practical. I dunno, I'll figure something out.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE? People who yell out unnecessary shit in class. Look, I know the teacher mentioned Jack Reacher books, but you don't have to exclaim loudly. Especially when I introduced them to you, and you're now a 'ho.

I'VE BEEN WEARING THE EXACT SAME PAIR OF EARRINGS FOR AROUND ABOUT SIX MONTHS AND I TOOK THEM OUT TO SWAP THEM TO MY OTHER HOLES (because I have double piercings in me ears) AND NOW THEY STING LIKE A REALLY BIG CUT!

It's taken me the better part of a week to realise why everyone is doing stuff on Thursday. I knew I was an idiot, but really. Now I know why Frank decided that Thursday would be the best day to ask Livi out (well that was his plan) and why Silver is going to her boyfriends place to play Amnesia. I just went full retard. But it's ok, Daphne is taking Katie and I to the movies to see Anna Karenina.

I seem to be picking up fans willy-nilly again. Weird. Still don't think I'm interesting, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

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My brain is still in "Full Retard" mode. It took me ten minutes to realise the fish company was called Tassal because it is in Tasmania and farms salmon.

Swimming carnival was today. So the whole school, in an indoor pool, racing and shit. But I can't swim because of the car accident that fucked up my shoulder. And I hurt everywhere because of sport yesterday (shuttle runs. Sprinting back and forth, up and down.) But today was alright, I guess. I hung out with all the other people who weren't swimming and we had a good time being bored together, so that was fun. Bitchy McWhoreSlut was walking around with no pants on and was using red lipstick instead of red zinc cream to cover her face in red stuff in a display of loyalty to her house. The idiot. LIPSTICK IS SO HARD TO GET OFF, ESPECIALLY IN LARGE AMOUNTS. Also, there were 12 year olds and they looked older than me. I am 15 years old. I was frightened. Does that mean I should start wearing makeup regularly? Or should I just keep going along like I usually do, because ain't nobody got time for that. Well I don't have time for it. Coz I take forever to get ready anyway. Also, I don't want a dependency. And I don't think I'd know what to do with it once I had any.

KILL EVERYTHING! Maybe...

I've decided, that as soon as I've written a few paragraphs or so of Invisible Things: Chapter Two, imma going to finish the Witchcraft chapter I started months ago. Or I'm going to try to, anyway. Everyone knows my plans rarely happen.

WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE? The guilt I feel whenever someone comments on Witchcraft and I haven't updated in months. It makes me feel terrible.