Sexual Tension Squids and Other Things I've Learnt From Society

I have seen no plovers here

God, my family's weird...

Is it a sad thing I swapped a Pokemon key ring for a Perry the Platypus one? I love Perry, he's amazing. He's all secret agent-y while Phineus and Ferb are having a wow of a time, and in the end they're all "oh, there you are Perry." and Perry's all *insert platypus noise here*.

My nan's very overbearing. She's always telling me to eat things, or do things, or make me take a newspaper that I'd already finished reading. It's really annoying.

My family is insane. All of them. Well on my dads side anyways. I have a One Direction fanatic in my family. My lovely 11 year old cousin who i love very much. I had to stop myself from crying. THEY MUST USE SOME SORT OF BRAINWASHING TECHNIQUE IN THEIR SONGS OR SOMETHING. We were chilling in her room for ages the other night because the rowdy relatives were singing Ed Sheeran and eating all the hedgehog (the chocolate slice, there's no hedgehogs in Australia) and partying, as you do at family get-togethers, although ours usually involve my aunty/s drunk-dancing, possibly on a table, and loud, raucous music from the eighties, which is a bit sad, because that means I'll listen to that kind of stuff for the rest of my life. But I love them very much, my family, even if we should all be in some sort of institution for the mentally insane. anyways, I'm sitting on my cousins bed, and she has three 1D posters above her bed. So I'm there trying to describe to her (in a way that is understandable to an 11 year old girl whose only seen Iron Man and the Avengers) what happened in Thor and Captain America and some of the theories of what happened between those movies and the Avengers, but I keep going to laugh at the bleakness and tragedy of life because of those bloody posters. And then I get into explaining ships to her. In this easy to slightly understand paragraph of sorts:

So, you know how when you were watching the Avengers some of the characters acted like they hated each other, but looked like they secretly liked each other? Like Hawkeye and Black Widow? So some of the fans of the movie thought 'what if they were in a romantic relationship?' These fans decided to write stories about these pairings and put them on the Internet so other people could read them and then share their own. Some of them seem normal (eg, Black Hawk, Pepperony [although myself and Katie (mostly Katie, because she hates her guts and wants Pepper gone) don't ship it], I kinda think Science Bros, any ship with Darcy), some of them are weird but still work and seem a teeny bit logical (Stony, FrostIron, Loki/Darcy, whatever the ship name is for Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanof) and then there are the ones that are just sick and wrong (mainly Thorki. The incest is just too far. I cant cope with it. Although I can't see how Captain Hawk works either.).

She's so cute, but her brother is a tool. He has to be the best at everything and makes a point of it if anyone younger than him does something wrong, although he started to do it to me today. I told him off for yelling at my sister and told him that he shouldn't rub in people's mistakes and he mouthed off at me under his breath. I laughed at his dipshitness.

I LOVE MAKING UP WORDS. ESPECIALLY ONES THAT FIT INTO MOST SITUATIONS. Like Lunketyplunkty*snort*.

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Do you ever just chill in the car on the way to some place and it will take ages to get there so you plug in your headphones, put your iPod on shuffle, and kind of go on standby mode (until a rock hits the windscreen and there's now a single crack in it), and your mind just wanders and you end up creating a random story in your head? Well that's how my Witchcraft story came into being (except it spawned in English class) and this other one I have in production (all I'm saying is that it's not based on the Avengers movie and its an AU anyways, so everything is going to be completely different. [Thats what AU (Alternative Universe) tales are for, right? Reinvention. I'm just using a few characters that already exist, then destroying their origins and recreating them in a scenario of my own design. It's more fun that way.]).

So I zoned out with music on a car trip today, and remember a few chapter-things ago when I was running the 'what if?' scenarios? Well I reimagined Thor so it wasn't all about Thor.

Yeah, this is getting out of hand already and I haven't even put down what I came up with.

So it kinda starts off the same, Thor's about to be crowned, elves from Elfenheim break into the treasure room to take something, Thor wants to know why, Loki kind of hints he should do something, but not now, so off Thor goes to the elf realm, Odin finds out and takes Thor and his friends back to Asgard. Here's where it changes: Thor isn't the noble warrior everyone thinks he is. He's barbaric, rude and self centred, thinking only of himself and his honour. Instead of Odin yelling at his eldest son, the Golden Prince of Asgard, Thor lies and says it was all Loki's idea and that he only went along with it because Loki enchanted him. Odin believes him and Loki gets banished before he can say anything. He lands in The Middle Of Nowhere, the desert, New Mexico, in the middle of the night. He's alone and disorientated, no Jane Foster in my version, bitches. He eventually gets up off the ground and wanders around until he accidentally comes across a dirt road. He decides to follow this road, not caring where it led, not caring if he lived or died, not caring that his father has just banished him because of the lies of his seemingly good brother, just trying to survive. Many hours later, he's still on the road, walking slowly, sun high in the sky, he's dehydrated, yadda yadda, oh no he's going to die, argh, that's so depressing, cheese, oh hey look, a vulture, ahahahahaha fuck. Suddenly there's a random growly noise coming from behind, dust cloud rising, something goes vroom past him and stops a few meters in front of him. Motorcyclist asks him if he wants a lift into town, some banter, he gets on, they get back into tiny town, he collapses from exhaustion and dies.

Lol, I'm kidding. I'm not one for major character death. Well not this early anyways. But I'm stopping typing now, because this could actually be a good story, if I do it right.

Any of you steal it, I shan't be pleased. I won't hunt you down and kill you or anything, I'll just be disappointed. I'll be all, "ok then. Someone stole my idea. How rude." And if you do steal it, and I find it and read it and it has more than... 4 grammatical errors or anything that shits me (plot problems, if you're gonna steal it, you have to stick to the exact plot in my head) in the first few paragraphs or so (i could say sentences. I hate pieces of writing that take ages to read because you have to decipher the grammar. Or people who put spaces between a word and the punctuation following it) I can probably find some way to make myself feel better about it being stolen. The least concerning of which would have to be making the thief on Sims 3, sealing them in a room and setting them on fire. Or having a rant in here.

I have a tan line from my watch. Not from my socks this year. Awesome!

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LAST DAY ON HOLIDAY! We are going to DFO, to do some shopping. I'm hoping for green converse, but eh, it's factory outlets, I could find anything. Then back on the plane and home. I like air travel. It's fun.

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I'm in the lounge, with Wifi, about to board the plane. I didn't get my converse, I got a Frankenweenie T-shirt instead. It's heaps cute, but still depressing. I'm going to upload now because our satellite might have blown off the roof because of the 'tornado' last Friday.

Till next upload thingy when my life has some sort of interesting thing happen.