Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 7: IDK you yet

It had been several weeks since Erwin sent off the invitation inviting y/n to meet with him and he received no response. He began to wonder if his letter may have scared her off because he was too forward or if something bad had happened. Or if she'd got all the information she needed for the article and abandoned the letter writing.

Since he had sent the last letter Erwin hadn't slept much, the faces of his fallen comrades haunted his dreams and he couldn't bear to feel the guilt he felt whenever he closed his eyes. He worked tirelessly through the night to sort their death papers. Delivering them on foot to the families of those who went to battle to never return.

Seeing the sadness on their faces did nothing but cause him to spiral more, he stopped taking walks and even locked his office door at times so he wouldn't have to speak with anyone. At times he even skipped out on shaving and blonde stubble began protruding from his jaw and chin.

Most of the higher ranks were busy with the new cadets and most of the other survey Corps members were either enjoying their time off or training like usual.

The lavender soap was all but gone, a small purplish smudge remained on the side of the sink but nothing more.
Almost like y/n had never existed and was simply a petal that had floated by on the wind never intending to stay for any more than a moment on the breeze.

Erwin often wondered how he could be so foolish as to miss someone he'd never even seen. He didn't even know what colour her eyes were, let alone if her intentions were as pure as he'd tried to imagine.

Despite his almost constant sadness he still found some strength to put up a front when neccesary to carry out his duties. When enrolling the cadets he gave out his speech as usual, speaking of passion and bravery. But behind his eyes there was nothing but darkness.

On one of his particularly dark days he sat in his desk chair looking out the window his head resting on his elbow. His eyes darkened from lack of sleep the stubble clear as day and his hair uncombed.

There was a sudden thud followed by a string of curses as the door to his office shuddered slightly as someone tried to fling it open but with no success. Erwin wasn't in the mood for visitors.

"Erwin you better open up this goddamned door right now or I swear I'll kick it in." Levi angrily stated from the other side of the door.

Erwin didn't reply instead choosing to remain silent and pretend he wasn't in.

"I know you're in there Erwin. I can see the candles." Erwin glanced over to the door and could just make out Levi's face inches from the floor the glint of his eye barely visable under the door.

"Well, isn't that a compromising position!" Hanji's laugh echoed through the building.

"Shut it, psycho. Stand back." Levi was clearly pissed.

"What? Why?" There was a loud

THUMP

And a

TWANG

As the door fell forward revealing a red faced Levi and a concerned looking Hanji.

Erwin rubbed his eyes quickly to dispell any tears that might be forming and cleared his throat. He stared at Levi for a moment before speaking.

"Can I....help you... Captain?"

"Get up, now. Go and touch some fucking grass and get your head out your ass." Levi glared at Erwin

"E-excuse me?" Erwin shook his head a little. Taken aback by Levi's rudeness.
"You heard me, old man" Clearly Levi was not in a mood to play games. When was he ever?