Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 51- Who am I?

Zeke didn't come back to visit me the next day, or the day after that. I wasn't sure if they'd made him stay away because of how much he had shouted or if he just wanted me to suffer with the unknowing. What was it that he knew about me? Something I apparently didn't even know myself. I couldn't even begin to fathom what it could be.

They released me a week after I had arrived. My shoulder was still injured but it was healing slowly and I wasn't in as much pain anymore thanks to the high doses of pain medication I was on.

Being discharged meant lots of papers to sign.

I understand that I may not return within 36 hours of discharge and that I have read all the relevant information attached to any medicines prescribed to me whilst in and out of the medical teams care.

Signed:____(Y/N)__________

I was glad that my non dominant arm was injured or else I would have had trouble writing. I signed on the line in big looping arcs. Thus settling my lie about having fully read the information sheet on paper as evidence. I'd skimmed it but after seeing "mood swings, aggression and depression" I decided I didn't want to know. I pushed the paper across the desk giving a nod to the woman sat behind it

"Alright, you're all good to go. You got someone picking you up?" She responded to me cheerfully.

"I'm fine. I want to walk. Need the fresh air." I lied. I didn't want to walk but I was left with no choice.

"Gotcha. Keep safe won't ya."

I nodded. And headed for the exit walking out through the doors and into the glorious afternoon sea breeze. My mother had offered to bring me home but I had refused. I needed to do something first. I looked left and right before heading for the dorms. Surely Zeke must be around somewhere not like he had any friends to be hanging around with.

Pushing open the gate and walking into the courtyard I spotted him lazily leaning against a wall puffing on a cigarette as usual watching the others train. I smiled at seeing them but I dropped it quickly and made a beeline for Zeke.

"Oi! BABOON FACE!" I yelled. "We've got a lot to talk about."

"Hm? I don't know what you're referring to."

I walked closer grabbing the cigarette from him and throwing it to the ground seething with rage.

"No. You don't get to gaslight me this time. I know what you said and you'll tell me." I said through gritted teeth

The others had stopped working out turning to look at us.

"Y/n. You're delusional. It's probably the pain medication they gave you at the hospital. You owe me a cigarette now by the way." He smirked pulling another from his pocket.

I grabbed him by the collar tightly pushing him against the wall with force.

"Tell me." I instructed sternly.

He chuckled.

I gripped his collar tighter choking him

"Tell me or you won't be alive to smoke the rest of them." I wasn't playing around.

Zeke's face began to turn red and he grabbed at my hands trying to pull them off of his shirt dropping the cigarette to the ground.

Reiner and Bertholdt were exchanging glances wondering whether to intervene but both of them seemed too scared of me to even approach. It's like I was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.

"TELL ME!" I shook him hard burning hot tears trickling down my cheeks.

"Fine..." Zeke wheezed "I'll tell you... Just let go."

I released my grip and Zeke stumbled falling down onto the ground with a thud.  He sat up and leant again the wall, picking up the lost cigarette tucking it back into his pocket.

"You and I...We're the same."

"I'm nothing like you."

"We're not as different as you might think. Same goes for them over there." He motioned to the other warriors who were now huddled together whispering.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm so over your riddles. I deserve to know what it is you know about me!" I couldn't understand why he would want to keep something so personal from me.

"Sorry but no can do. McGath's orders."

Without even thinking my hands shot out to grab his throat once again squeezing tightly.

"I'll kill you..." I whispered. "I'm not even worried about it... I'll find out one way or another. Either you tell me or you die and I ask McGath." All my muscles were tensed and I gripped him with a scowl.

"Go to hell." Zeke spat at me wheezing.

Reiner's arms grabbed mine trying to pull me off of Zeke I struggled but Reiner squeezed my injured shoulder causing me to release Zeke and cry out in pain

"I'm sorry.... I'm sorry....but I can't let you do that y/n." Reiner said sympathetically.

"Fuck you!" I screamed at him sobbing "How the fuck am I meant to live not knowing who I am!" I turned slamming my fists into Reiner's Pectorals over and over.

"I've tried to tell you..." Zeke said calmly.
"You and I we're the same..."

"I realise that." I said through gritted teeth turning back around. "And I told you-"

"The blood that runs in my veins runs in yours too." He interrupted

"Don't give me that bullshit Zeke you know we're not related!" I yelled

"Somewhere down the line we are. Ymir Fritz, our fucked up ancestor, made sure of that." He responded. I was still so confused about everything. Was he hinting at what I thought he was?

"Spit it out Zeke stop tormenting her." Annie had approach us and her fists were clenched.

Zeke rolled his eyes.
"I'll spell it out for you then. You're an Eldian just like the rest of us. There's nothing special about you other than the fact that you were brought up to be Marleyian. You never were Marleyian. And you parents never even wanted to know if you were or not. M.O.T.H.E.R asked me not to tell you so that you could be our weapon. All it would take it one injection and Bam. Walking bomb who doesn't even know it." He brushed himself off standing up on his feet once again.

I was stunned. Eldian? How? It wasnt possible. I'd remember being adopted wouldnt I?

"Can't be.... I've always been with my parents. I've never-" I shook my head

"You were abandoned not long after your birth. Your birth mother tried to escape the interment Zone and made it as far as your adoptive parents home. She dropped you on the doorstep probably wanting to give you a better life. If you want anymore info I'd ask them. That's all I know. Satisfied?" He lit his new cigarette and took a large puff on it.

I stepped back my brain was buzzing with information. He had to be lying. But the more i thought about it the more it made sense. I'd always felt more connected to the warriors than any of the other Marleyians. I'd always gotten away with murder where missions were concerned. Fucking them up consistently and never being punished for it. It's because they wanted to use me....

"YOU ALL KNEW ABOUT THIS?!" I looked around at my so-called friends.

"No...no... We didn't know... I swear." Pieck placed her hand on my shoulder. "If I'd have known I would have said something." She pulled me into a hug as I began to cry helplessly.

"I don't even know who I am anymore...." I cried into her shoulder.

Everything I thought I knew was a lie and suddenly I didn't know where I belonged.

Every piece of information had been kept secret from me and even from my parents. My parents... What would they say?

Would they even still call me daughter?

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Authors Note~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERWIN!! 🥳🥳🎂🎂🎉🎉