Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 10: Two

After that evening I visited Erwin as often as I could. I even convinced Roy to let me do some of my writing away from the printers which meant I could visit even more.

We often took long walks when Erwin had a break or I'd make lunch and bring it to him in his office. Sometimes we would even just sit in silence whilst I worked on my article and he signed papers. I never imagined the work of a commander would be so boring, day in and day out people would bring papers after papers. I stopped even raising my head when they came into the room.

Erwin had been on a few expeditions since I had started visiting. Whenever the scouts would return people would gather in the streets of Trost to welcome them back more often than not with insults or horrified looks. The scouts weren't exactly the most popular of the regiments. Their losses almost always seemed to outweigh their progress but despite this I always made sure to welcome them back with a smile.

I would run out the gates of HQ and down the street as close to the gate as I could get ,clutching my wooden crate. I'd find myself a spot and step up on the crate and wave my arms and cheer as loudly as I could. I was proud of them, no matter what anyone else thought, I'd seen the scouts training a few times and I'd often talked with Erwin about his plans and missions. They were trying their best but had truly been fucked over by those monsters that lurked outside the walls.

Riding at the front of the scouts the man I enjoyed the company of so dearly, looked so heroic and charming like a knight coming to save a princess. Today was one of those days where I ran down to wave to them and welcome them home once again. This mission had been fairly long but since using the flares that Hange had worked tirelessly on the losses had been far less than in previous expeditions.

I stood and waited the sound of trotting hooves and the wheels of wooden carts grew ever closer, just around the corner now. I began waving and cheering happily as they began to round to the corner. My cheeks red and smiling ear to ear. Erwin's beautiful white mare, at the front of the squad walked beside that of Levi's stallion.

But

The horses saddle was empty.

It's reins were in Levi's hands and he guided it as they trotted past.

I fell silent. My smile vanished. My heart racing I gulped as the Scouts continued to pass me.

Towards the back of the group we're the carts of the dead and they grew closer and closer with every rank that rode by.

I held my breath waiting and watching, praying. Until finally I spotted Hange riding in one of the carts. They waved to me.

"Y/N!! HAIIII !!!" They seemed cheerful. I hoped this was good news. As they got closer I could just see the top of Erwin's head his blonde hair muddied from battle.

I began running next to the cart.
"What happened?" Tears welled in my eyes.
"I'll explain everything once we get Erwin situated." Hange said remembering the severity of the situation.

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I ran through the courtyard towards the infirmary. Hange struggled to keep up as they ran behind me.

"Y/n! Slow down!" They called out. But I continued running and opened the door.
"Where's Erwin?"

"Not here." Said one of the nurses.

"He's in his room!" Hange called out having stopped halfway across the courtyard panting heavily.

"My apologies." I bowed a little and left closing the door behind me.

After Hange had caught their breath we both walked up to Erwin's room which neighboured his office.

I knocked carefully.
"Come in." Said Levi from the other side of the door.

Hange and I entered the room where Levi sat on a chair by Erwin's bed. Erwin was sitting up in his bed leaning against the wall. The top buttons of his shirt undone and what remained of his Right arm was bandaged up.

"Erwin..." I walked over to his bedside. "I was so worried, when I saw Captain Levi guiding your horse I thought something terrible must have happened."

"Levi, Hange, could you give us a moment please " They both nodded and left the room closing the door quietly. "Y/n, I'm not sure if you've noticed but something bad did happen." He looked down at his residual limb and sighed. "I'm practically useless now. I can't even do the blasted paperwork. I might as well just call it quits" His voice wobbled a little.

"Well... I'll help you, you'll get better. I promise." I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his other hand. "You can't give up yet. There's so much more out there for you to see. The scouts need you." I squeezed his hand tightly.

Erwin turned to me his eyes dull he lifted his hand and caressed my cheek gently. "I'll understand if you don't want to be around me anymore...I can't even write you letters."

"You don't need to write me letters, I'm right here." I placed my hand over his closing my eyes and leaning into his touch. "I'm not going anywhere."

I don't know how long we sat in silence for. The sun had set long ago, Erwin had fallen asleep and I had moved closer so he didn't have to hold his arm out.

Hange opened the door quietly and peeked in.
"Y/n? Are you still in here?"

"Hm?" I turned my head taking Erwin's hand from my cheek and placing it down carefully "Is everything okay?"

"Of course, but you should rest too. You can stay in my room and I'll go and sleep in the cadet dorms." Hange smiled. "Come on, Levi is finding you some pajamas to wear." They held out their arm to me and I slowly stood up and walked over and they wrapped me in a one armed hug as we both left the room closing the door.

"Will he be okay?" We walked down the hall towards their room.

"Of course. It's Erwin. You think he's just going to give up and die? If you do then you clearly don't know him as well as I thought you did." They giggled a bit leading me further down the corridor and into their room.

"Here we are. Looks like Levi has left you pajamas on the bed there. Sleep well y/n. Try not to worry about Erwin too much okay?" They released me from their hug and turned towards the door. Adopting a serious tone. "Just ... no matter how hard it gets.... just don't let him down. Alright? Sleep well y/n." Hange closed the door behind them leaving me alone with my thoughts.