Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 63- Meet me on the battlefield

On the Marleyian side y/n had to be sneaky around the warriors. It seemed like someone always had their eyes on her and it wasn't until they were called to talk to McGath about their specific orders was she able to send off the blueprints to the other side of the battle. It was lucky that Hange had never gotten over the death of their beloved Sawney and Bean or else they may never have found a way to communicate. They had begun to train birds and small animals in their free time and their passion project was a bird by the name of Nigel. Raised from a small fragile egg. Trained to carry messages back and forth.

I rolled the tiny piece of paper and pushed it into the cylinder. Patting the birds back signalling for it to leave. I hoped it wouldn't get shot down before it reached their dug-outs.

"Hey! Y/n. We're off. Stay safe alright?"

I turned my head to the voice which came from Reiner.

"We're leaving Bert behind though so don't look too sad. He's great company." He called out as Bertholdt slumped down onto a wooden chair next to me.

I shook my head trying to get to grips with what was being said as Reiner, Pieck and Annie all strode away from our section.

"Sorry, what's happening?" I asked looking to them as they left.

"Reiner, Pieck and Annie are being sent in. McGath received orders to wrap this up. Hopefully their presence will give us an easy win." He replied nonchalantly

"But the battle has only just started....I don't get it." Why would they do that so suddenly? I questioned.

"Come on y/n you're smart. The sooner this is over the less of our people have to die." Bertholdt rolled his eyes

"But....But, what about their people Berty? Are we just gonna eradicate them?" I couldn't tell why he was acting so cool about this whole thing.

"Pretty much yeah."
It seemed that Eldian deaths didn't even phase him anymore. Who was he? Not the Bertholdt I knew that's for sure.

"I won't let that happen. I'm going after them." I stood up picking up my bag.

"Why do you think they left me here? I'm your guard dog apparently. Your orders are to remain here." He blocked my path with his lanky body.

"I don't give a damn what my orders are I won't sit around while they kill them." I tried to push past but he stood firm placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Y/n...y/n... Sweet naive y/n... If you go after them....well... I suppose I'll just have to transform wont I?"He raised a small pocket knife to his hand which he held in the air. "If I give the signal, our troops will retreat and those devil's will all be blown to smithereens. And if that doesn't wipe them out, well I'll just have to smash them into the earth they stand on. I mean they've basically already dug their graves over there haven't they?"

I stepped back out of his grasp throwing my own hands up.
"Bert! Wait! I get it! I won't go after them. I swear."

"Good." He put the knife down seeming bored. "They'll begin their attack just after sunrise tommorow. After that I won't have to keep you here anymore and you can go over to the logistics division and assist them."

"Fine." I sat down on the cold ground pulling my knees up.

The daylight was fading fast and I willed Bertholdt to sleep so I could think of what to do.
His beady eyes watched me as I lay down on the ground pulling a blanket around me. I knew he wouldn't believe me so easily.

"Get some sleep. It'll help time pass." He advised. Folding his arms and leaning back.

I nodded closing my eyes picturing scenarios where I could prevent this war from containing without any more deaths and totally alone. None of which seemed to end well.

I awoke a few hours later to a pecking on my arm and pulled my arm away crinkling my brow. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and slowly I was able to see Nigel staring me in the face.

I jumped and clapped a hand over my mouth to stop from yelling.

"Hasn't Hange taught you not to scare people like that? Talk about indicreet." I tutted in a whisper.

The bird had a message attached to it's leg and I opened it to read it.

Dearest Y/n,

We received the blueprints and have made arrangements. All is well but Miche says that something is coming. Can you advise us on what it might be?

All my love
Erwin x

I grasped the note close to my chest tucking it into my breast pocket. I patted Nigel's head and looked over to Bertholdt who was fast asleep and snoring. He always was a heavy sleeper though I was surprised he'd allowed himself to do so.

I scribbled a message onto some paper in response.

I'll take care of it. xx

I pushed it into the tube sending Nigel on his way. I had to do this. It was the only way to ensure that Reiner and the others didn't reach that wall.

I stood up silently taking a deep breath moving towards Bertholdt before swiftly pouncing on him my arm wrapped firmly around his neck in a headlock.

He was startled awake flailing, the darkness shielding my identity for a moment.

"Hey!"

"Shut up." I stated coldly. "I'm done playing games Berty."

"Y/n, please! Let's talk about this. You know you can't go after them right?! Think about what Marley will do to you when they find out." He begged quietly

"That's why they can't find out. You're the only one stopping me right now. You sat there last night tormenting me about it. Don't act all coy now." I whispered through gritted teeth.

He attempted to look up at me with his large green eyes.
"Y/n you know that's not me! But if I hadn't done that you never would have listened to me!"

"You've always been my brother Bertholdt. Truly. But this world has changed you too much." I began to cry softly. "All I wanted was for you and Reiner to stay kids so that I wouldn't ever have to do something like this. I never wanted to go against you but I can't let all those innocent people die just because some high and mighty Marleyian says it should be so." I maneuvered myself using the chair as leverage to wrap my legs around his shoulders holding his head by grabbing his hair with my fingers. My knuckles turning white.

"Y/n please." His hands reached to claw at my thighs to release him.

"Will you let me go after them?"

He had started to cry too. "I can't. You know I can't."

I watched his movement carefully as he slowly creeped one of his hands towards a knife which sat atop his satchel next to him.

"Don't." I growled under my breath hot tears still running down my face.

"I have to." He strained to reach for it.

A sickening crack rang in my ears as his neck twisted.His head tilted as I let go of his hair.

I took a shuddering breath moving my legs to stand on solid ground
"Bert...." I whispered grabbing his face with one hand and shaking his shoulder with the other.
His head lolled his eyes wide and empty

"Berty...." I sobbed pulling his still warm body towards me and cradling it.

"I didn't... I didn't mean to...." I hauled his body from the chair and it fell onto me on the ground as I rocked crying into his shoulder. "I wasn't going to do it.... I just wanted to scare you ...Bert....please wake up..."

I could never forgive myself for this.