Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 46- Only a matter of time

I stood motionless, stunned .
"I...I'll be back in a moment..." I mumbled in a daze begining to head towards the alley Zeke had walked off down.

"Hm?" Erwin turned a bit "everything okay?" He asked me.

"Uh.... Yes." I replied turning back and giving a small smile to reassure him before he turned back and I hurried off down the alley.

"Zeke... What the hell!" I said half in anger half in shock. "Have you been following me?!" I whispered not wanting to be overheard.

"Following orders. And it's a good job too. Seems like youre in a lot of trouble huh." He smirked looking past me at Erwin who was negotiating a price with the seller.

I shook my head.
"What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." He lit a cigarette and held it between his clenched teeth.

I stood in silence. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and stepped closer to me his face mere inches from mine.

"You and that half-wit commander waltzing around without a care in the world? Have you no thought for your home and the mess it's in?" He snarled his words full of hatred and venom.

"Zeke, I really... I'm just doing my mission... There's nothing else to it..." God he was scary when he was pissed off.

"Cut the crap y/n." He said pointing at me with his cigarette the ashes floating on the breeze down the alley and back towards the street.
"All you ever do is lie to me. Can't you see that so far you've done us way more harm than good!? Our home is up shit creek without a paddle all because of you!" He lurched at me and I stepped back. He chuckled leaning back again the alley wall inhaling and blowing out a cloud of smoke causing me to cough.

"There's only one way you can fix this. You must know that. Come home and tell everyone what little schemes you've been up to and clear up the mess you created. I think you forget that as your superior your actions reflect on me too. Bet you didn't even give me a thought did you.
It's tearing me apart y/n. To see you wrapped around his finger like some puppet. Surely you don't think he actually cares for you? I thought you'd be the first to figure out when someone's using you but... I guess not." He paced up and down as he talked.

" What happened to the self-righteous young girl that got over her fear of heights in a day and pledged her life to protecting her home and wiping out those who hurt her friends?" He did have a point. I'd promised Reiner that I wouldn't let anymore harm come to our home or the people we cared about.

"I'm sure you've noticed I didn't come alone. If I'm not convincing you then just think about how hurt Reiner must feel right now." Zeke said scratching his ear.

"R-reiners...here..." I remembered the trio I'd seen earlier in the day and cursed myself for not realising sooner. They were here. All three of them. Now I felt even worse. Not only about breaking my promise to them but just them being here meant Paradis was in danger. If they transformed it could be catastrophic. Zeke must have noticed the worry on my face.

"Oh but don't worry. They won't reveal who they are providing you don't screw this up, even more. And believe me y/n I know how hard this must be for you. I mean he is charming and I'm sure he makes you feel loved but... Why is that my fault? They're threatening my position you know. They say that if you're off the rails then I must be too. Why are you so intent on making me your scape goat?"

I stared at him blankly as he continued his rant. Had I really caused him this much trouble. I'd never intended to. Sure we weren't exactly on good terms but I didn't think he'd actually be hurt by it.

"But don't worry about me. Oh Zeke's fine, he's got everything in the world nothing could ever go wrong for him. Yeah right." I couldn't tell whether he was angry, sad or just disappointed. I knew how much he'd been through but I never realised how much I'd affected him.

"I'm sorry... I didn't think... Now can you please just leave this to me. I know what I'm doing." Maybe getting him to leave was the best solution. I still had time to have the best of both worlds.

"No! You can't just apologize and expect me to forget all the shit you've put me through!" He yelled.

"Put you through?" I whispered hushing him "I'm happy here. There I said it."

"Fine. But you should know as well as anyone that what goes around comes around. Then.... Then you'll regret speaking to me like some dirt you trod in. We're FRIENDS y/n!" He clenched his fists taking a deep breath.

"No... This isn't about us... It's more than that. This is about Marley. OUR home. You know it's only a matter of time before they invade us right? Massacre us without remorse. They won't care if we're Eldian or Marleyian. They'll snuff us out." He dropped the stub of his cigarette to the ground and squashed it with his boot taking another from his pocket and lighting it.
"And that includes your family too. Don't think just because your buddies with them that they'll spare them. Lets just finish this then. There's clearly no convincing you of their true selves. I'm done playing these childish games with you. I'm going. Are you happy now? " He let out an exasperated sigh dropping down to a crouching position.
"I've already lost my parents to this war... I can't lose my only friend too..."

"Zeke... I... I'm really sorry that you feel that way but... I really think you should try to understand that not everything we were taught as kids is true...." I sighed. I needed a way to appease Zeke for the time being until I figured out what to do. "I know McGath wants an intelligence update so here's one for you. The attack titan is here. Take that to him and I'm sure he'll forget I'm even still around. Maybe it will get you out of trouble with him too. The attack on shiganshina might have been a failure in his eyes but it had it's desired affect. The poor boys parents were both killed in the panic but he hadn't realised he even had these power until recently." Zeke cut me off standing up his mannerisms changing.

"He is? Perfect. What's his name?" He asked me eagerly.

"Zeke, he's still just a kid and hardly poses any threat to us." I pleaded.

"You think because he's a kid that he's incapable? Would you say the same of all us warriors when we were children? Were we not just as capable of destruction as we are now?" He questioned.

"That's not what I said- now please, leave me be." I was so done with going around in circles.

"You're coming back with us." Zeke said nonchalantly.

"I'm not and there's nothing you can do about it. " I stood my ground and turned walking back down the alley back towards Erwin.

"Fine. But you know where I'll be when you change you're mind." He muttered as I left.

"Oh! Y/n.. there you are. Where did you run off to?" Erwin asked as I appeared from out of the darkness.

"Oh nowhere I just thought I saw a stray animal of some kind run up there but I guess I was wrong." I slipped my hand back into Erwin's hoping he'd calm the shaking that had taken over my body.

"Are you okay? You seem pale and... You're trembling..." He turned to me cupping my cheek.

"Yeah I...I'm just tired ... Do you think we could maybe go home now?" I didn't dare look back down the alleyway

"Of course." He moved my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "Let's go home."