Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 11: The End of Love

I spent the next few weeks helping Erwin in whatever way I could, whilst also continuing my work at the paper. I learnt how to shave him, helped him with his writing, even acting as a scribe when he needed to write something longer. If we weren't close already we grew closer from this and although he struggled tremendously in private he still managed to maintain his composure in front of the scouts and new recruits.
I'd started to become closer with them too, I'd been helping out so much that most of them knew who I was. And we would often greet each other as we passed in the hallways or at dinnertime if I was still helping Erwin in the evenings.

Evenings spent with Erwin were my favourite. His office was usually warm and on the days it wasn't he would often wrap me in his blanket once he saw me start to shiver. His arm had healed well but he still felt phantom pain from it.

On those days I tried to keep him distracted as best I could by asking him to talk about battle strategies or about his childhood but lately he'd been experiencing it more and more. Each time we would talk for hours as a distraction but we had soon run out of things to talk about in enough detail to help him forget the pain momentarily.

It was another of the evenings where the pain was almost unbearable for him mentally and physically but we'd exhausted every topic of conversation. I sat helplessly in my chair thinking of what I could do next time it flared up when I noticed Erwin wince again. Being the strong soldier he is, he often wouldn't let on if it was bothering him but I'd learned to see the signs and act before it got too out of hand.

I turned my head towards him slightly, picking my brain to think of a solution. He flinched yet again gripping his residual limb tightly in an attempt to stop it. I couldn't bare to see him like this.

Before I knew it I was on my feet and standing beside Erwin.
"Dance with me?" I said a little nervously.
He chuckled a bit despite still clutching at his arm.
"Okay?" He stood up from his desk and held out his hand to me leading me into the centre of the room.

I placed my hands on his shoulders as he placed his hand on my waist. I smiled at him my cheeks blushing a little. I began to hum softly as we swayed back and forth. I moved closer leaning on Erwin as we swayed. The lavender scent I loved so much still lingered on his skin and I closed my eyes still swaying gently back and forth. Erwin adjusted his head turning slightly to look at me my head so peacefully on his shoulder. His arm moved from my waist to push my hair from my face and he planted a gentle kiss upon my cheek.

My eyes fluttered open a little taken aback by his action and I stopped humming.
"Sorry, you're just so beautiful. I couldn't resist." Erwin gazed upon me his eyes twinkling in the fading sunlight.I moved my arm to Erwin's cheeks stroking over his smooth skin and chiseled jaw before moving my lips to his and locking them in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

As we kissed and held each other close I could feel Erwin's steady heartbeat beneath his shirt which contrasted my own racing one. His bolo tie pressed against the bare skin of my clavicle and slowly warmed to my body temperature. Our lips parted and Erwin once again caressed my cheek.

"I'm so happy I met you y/n. And, despite everything. In this moment, even if I had the chance to change the moments that have led us to this point. I wouldn't change a thing."

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I knocked gently on the door to Erwin's office.

"Come in." He replied.

I entered his office my leather bag draped across my body my scarf wrapped tightly around my neck. It was becoming winter and the mornings had become bitterly cold.

I'd received a few more letters from Hermine district but it wasn't the right time to take off again. It wasn't urgent so it could wait. I knew they wouldn't be impressed with my lack of correspondence and so I knew I needed to do something seriously good to make up for it. I had to do something soon.