"Stefan, we... Need to talk." Those dreaded words finally spilled from her lips. Stefan had not been looking forward to having this conversation. Just like y/n he had been ignoring what was really going on between them. He wanted to make the most out of it whilst it lasted but time was almost up. He would go back to being the shy and lonely postman with only his old cat and the endless stream of letters to keep him company.
Doomed from the very start. He should have known from the very moment he tried to give her those roses that they should just stay friends.
"Of course, what's wrong?" He asked feigning ignorance. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. Yes of course I'm okay... I just... I feel... Well to be honest I'm not really sure what I feel anymore." She sighed and sat down on the kitchen floor her back leaning against a cupboard.
Maggie mewed and rubbed against her knees. She petted her softly.
"Maybe... We should take some time apart. I love spending time with you but I really could use some time to think." She said hesitantly. Stefan understood. Without a word he picked up his postman's bag and bent down patting his shoulder for Maggie to jump up.
"I understand. Just know that I really care about you and-"
"Could you.... Just go... I- I really can't talk to you right now" She said cutting him off, her voice wobbling and tears threatening to burst from her eyes and spill down her delicate cheeks.
He nodded and walked out her home and down the path.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stefan sat alone in his bedroom thinking about everything that had happened over the past month. The secrets she'd spilt to him, the burden he now has to carry to lighten her load. He hoped it would all be worth it.
He felt for sure that she was the one. In all 27 years of his life, he'd never met someone who could brighten a room just by stepping into it. No-one who could ease his mind and make him forget his insecurities with a single smile. She laughed at his jokes, she was patient when he couldn't get his words out. She listened to all the little things about his day, whether it be how Mrs Schmidt didn't put a stamp on her letter or how he had to carry a really heavy package all the way to Chlorba district.
Even if this was the end of a very short relationship he hoped it hadn't been a waste. He hoped that he'd helped her heal. He tried to tell himself that he wasn't hurting. But lying did no good. Nights closed in and new days began and still Stefan heard no word from
Y/n. He continued waiting for her to drop by or send a letter but no word came
He had often considered what would happen if he told someone what y/n had told him. Would they even believe him? He couldn't betray her trust, no matter what. He'd said he'd take it to his grave and so he would. Not a single soul would find out her secret. At least not from his lips.
The silence in his room was deafening. He shivered pulling his oversized cardigan further around himself and Maggie clambered into his lap curling up purring softly. His mind was in so many places. He wished he could choose to just not care. But he knew he couldn't do that. If he wasn't what she wanted then he would play his part for as long as she needed him to. After that he'd set her free without guilt.
He wanted her to be happy, whether that be with him or with Erwin. Safe and happy. He'd always be just around the corner waiting for her. He wished and prayed that he didn't need to tell himself this. That she'd walk in and everything would be fine and they'd be together and safe and happy.
But at that moment it didn't seem like that time would ever come.
YOU ARE READING
Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)
Romance(#1- Erwin (1st Dec 2021!) When forced to choose between new found love or life long duty, how can you be sure the one you choose is right? Erwin Smith is the commander of the survey corps and the many losses in his life have made him fearful of lov...
