Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 56- Stars

After that nightmare I didn't sleep very well.
Around 3am I got up giving up on resting and opting instead to go for a walk. The town was always so quiet at that time. I pulled on my military issue coat and headed out wandering the streets in the darkness. Not even the streetlights illuminated the cobbles. Eventually I found myself at the docks and I sat down on the edge allowing my legs to dangle over the side above the water. I wondered if things would be different had I not been forced to grow up so early. To fight whilst still trying to live a normal childhood. I already knew the answer.

Maybe if I'd have disappeared when I got to Paradis and stopped working for M.O.T.H.E.R then I wouldn't be in this situation. But what about everything I'd done there. Even without being an enemy I still would have hurt people. I'd still make mistakes. It was only human to do so.

I leaned back on my hands and stared up into the pitch black sky. Despite the darkness it was still too cloudy to see the stars. I wondered if Erwin could see the stars right now. What about Stefan? Or Hange? Or Connie and Jean and Sasha?

What would they be doing right now? Probably tucked up in bed I suspected. Had they tried to come after me? Did Erwin yell at Levi for injuring me? Did the MP's arrest Erwin for conspiracy?

I figured these were questions I could ask once I arrived once again. Paradis felt like a magnet. No. Erwin was a magnet. No matter how hard I try to leave I feel a calling to return. Maybe I'd really done it this time. I wouldn't even forgive me.

How could I win back his trust? Bring him info? Or samples for Hange to examine? Maybe at least Armin might appreciate a shell from the beach. He was always prattling on about wanting to see the sea after all.

I smiled to myself.
'I'll see you all soon. It will be like I never left.'
The only thing keeping me here was duty. Maybe it was time to cut ties. After all, this was a country that oppresses people who are just like me. The only reason I'd kept my position was due to pure luck and being used by the military.

I dreaded to think how many times they thought about feeding me Zeke's spinal fluid. The thought made me nauseated.
I recalled the conversation with my parents.

'When Zeke told us you were going to be coming home a couple months ago ...."

My mothers words rang through my head. My eyes widened as I realised the truth. It had been him all along. How could I be so stupid.

My hands clenched scratching the ground.
"Damn you." I gritted my teeth. "Fuckin. Monkey." I got up anger boiling.

I'd made my decision. Not that I hadn't already. I never should have doubted Erwin. Or Stefan. I'd made a terrible mistake coming back here.

I walked angrily through the port heading for the internment zone. I showed my ID at the gate and entered.  I made a beeline for Zeke's residence. I was gonna give him a piece of my mind. I didn't care how late it was he deserved my wrath.

The silence in the internment zone was deafening. Seemed like the whole of Marley was sleeping soundly. Except... That squeaking sound...

What was that?

I stopped still tuning my hearing to the sound. It sounded like... A wheel? Something light like a market cart or something.

I peeked around the corner. Watching woman pushing a cart of baked goods down the street.

Bread? Pastries? Since when was there a bakery in the internment zone?
My stomach grumbled. Maybe I could buy a small snack. After all, I'd have a long journey ahead of me.

I was about to hurry over when I saw a figure approaching her. The figure wrapped his arms around the woman's torso lowering his head to kiss her cheek.

I squinted my eyes. They had adjusted to the dark but I still wasn't quite close enough to pick out his features.  I crept slightly closer to hear their conversation.
The woman swiftly elbowed the figure in the side before wincing.

The figure chuckled.

"What did you do that for?" The figure exclaimed leaning down to peck the woman's cheek once again.

The woman sighed in relief.

"You could have said something instead of sneaking up on me"The redhead replied in annoyance

"What was a meant to say?" The man asked playfully

"A hello would have been nice." She scoffed.

"I'm sorry okay. I was just excited to see you."  He spin her around pulling her in by her waist.

"I'm supposed to be discreet. You're not helping. It's dark as all hell and you just come up out of nowhere and scare me half to death. You're lucky I didn't have a knife on me. How did you even know I was here?" She pushed him away playfully

He looked at the cart then back to the woman. 

"Ah. Yeah. I see." She chuckled a little.

I felt a bit guilty for spying on them but it was also kind of charming to see. The gravel crunched beneath my boot spooking the pair. I recoiled around the corner my back pressed against the wall.

The woman looked past the figure in my direction.
"Reiner. We should go." She whispered

Reiner nodded.

" After you Miss Mae."

If I wasn't sure before. Now I was. Seemed like Reiner had found himself a lover. It relieved me to know he had someone to keep him grounded and save him from going off the rails.

'Good. Another thing I don't need to feel guilty about.' I thought to myself. 'Paradis here I come.'