Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 16: Moral of the story

"Y/n? Is that you?" A sleepy sounding voice called from behind me as I stood watching Zeke leave. I turned my head before seeing a flash of something running towards me on all fours at full speed and I was tackled to the ground.

" PIECK!!" I screamed both terrified and happy so see one of my closest friends at the same time. Pieck and I were the same age so being friends made sense although when she inherited the cart titan, around the same time as Zeke, she grew tired quickly and was often napping, probably due to being in her Titan form for months on end in order to transport supplies. But, because of this I wasn't able to hang with her much as she needed to rest when she had time off. All the same she was one of the only girls I actually got along with, she would often defend me when the other girls would accuse me of something and was always first to notice when something was wrong or I was upset. We had a different relationship to that I had with Reiner and Bertholdt. To them I was their older sister, always looking out for them, playing games with them and making sure they had fun whilst in training. But with Pieck we were equals, we looked out for each other and stuck together no matter the circumstance.

We lay in the courtyard looking up at the sky. I knew Pieck wouldn't want to stand up and the grass was pretty comfortable so we just stayed there and chatted rather than going to a bench.

"So... Zeke doesn't seem very happy with you... Have you two had a fall out?" Pieck asked

"You could say that... My mission didn't really go as planned" I sighed.

"Really? How come?" Pieck turned onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow.

"You want the truth?"

"Of course. What? You think I'll tell on you? We aren't kids y/n." Pieck giggled

"Alright alright. So... The Commander of the survey corps. Erwin Smith. I might have gotten just a little too involved trying to get intel." I covered my eyes with my hands embarrassed and annoyed at myself.

"Oh dear. You are in a pickle. I can see why Zeke would be mad about that." Pieck sighed and flopped back down.

"But I've screwed that up now so..." I mumbled

"I would suggest just trying to forget him, but I sense... That would be troublesome." She furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "So... What's he like then? Must be pretty special for you to fall for him despite everything." I sat up turning towards her.

"Well, he's tall blonde, blue eyes that look just like the ocean, he likes to take walks and pick wildflowers for me, he likes to slow dance in his office, oh and he... Kinda taps his foot when he's anxious but he doesn't know I know that..." I felt my cheeks redden just thinking about Erwin and the evening in his office where we had our first kiss.

"Wow, blonde...blue eyed... Tall.. maybe you should just date Zeke instead!" Pieck said excitedly.

"Me and Zeke? Are you joking? No thanks." Pieck and I joked about how monkey-like Zeke was for a good 10 minutes rolling around in hysterics before she took a serious tone as we both sat up trying to catch our breath.

"In all seriousness though, y/n. It's really not a good idea to get involved like that. Mistakes get made and that's okay. And I know it might hurt to let it go because I can see you cared about him, but in the end I think you'll be much better off finding someone here, Kay?" As much as I didn't want to hear what she was saying, it was true. It would be much easier to find someone else.

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Training continued as usual despite my failure in the mission and after a few days even the warriors returned from wherever they'd been and trained with me. They'd all grown so much since I'd seen them which hadn't even been that long.

As much as I was happy to see them I still played my conversation with Pieck over in my mind. It hurt my heart to say it but, the entirety of that relationship was built on lies and never should have happened. Despite, this I still hoped to return to Paradis, after all I had a lot of mistakes to fix.

Deep in thought I sat down on the steps holding my chin up with my hand, my elbow resting on my knee.
My mind wandered as I thought about Paradis and the 'Eldian Devils' that lived there. We'd always been told about how evil they were but after living there for so many months I often wondered how true that really was. After all, they'd shown me nothing but kindness. Even the scouts who seemed hell-bent on killing every single Titan, held a soft spot in my heart. I hoped that when I returned I might be able to see some of them again. Even if it was only from afar or in the shadows.

"Y/n!" Reiner called out to me but I was too deep in thought to notice.

"You gonna join us?" He moved a little closer to me but I still gave no response. "Y/n?" He called to me again waving his hand in front of me causing me to blink my eyes watering slightly from staring into space so intently.

"Huh? Oh hey, Reiner- Sorry, Mr muscle. Did you say something?" I said casually smiling up at him.

"You know I hate it when you call me that...But I suppose I'll let it slide. I was asking if you wanted to join us for some sparring." He stood up twisting to crack his back.

"Sure, why not. It's been a while though so go easy on me. I'm not as young as I used to be, I'm practically a veteran." I stood up stretching my arms and legs, shaking off the pins and needles.

"You're 5 years older than me y/n. You're acting like you're ancient. But fine, maybe dont spar against Annie if you're out of practise." He said chuckling and returning to his position opposite Porco.

"Avoid, Leonhardt. Got it."