✓One Sided || Stray Kids Hyunsung (Hyunjin x Han)

XXI || Mute

‚Ya! What was that about!' I complained looking at the brunette with fierce eyes. ‚Why did you do that all of a sudden?!'

‚Just because... I wanted to..?' He got to be kidding me..

‚Are you... why am I not even surprised about the shit you're doing all the time.. why-‚

‚But it was that, wasn't it? Your idea..' I pushed him a little to the side spotting something golden retrieve in the distance..

‚Yeah.. and I think you've done it again..' 

I started running, hoping that I had been mistaken.. hoping that it wasn't him. But as I turned around the corner, I had no doubts anymore, when I saw his blonde long hair glittering in the sunshine, falling onto his shaking shoulders. I ran towards him, reaching out for his wrist. ‚Hyunjin-ah!' I called out but he pulled his wrist out of my grip, trying to get away. I reached out catching his wrist again, pulling him close to me, into my arms.

‚Hyunjin, it's not what it looks like.. we-‚ The taller one pushed me away from him.

‚Oh then I was just imagining you two kissing... sure..' He hissed not looking at me. ‚What a wild imagination I have...'

‚We didn't .... I didn't .. he just..' Even I didn't know how to explain it properly.. even I didn't know what had been going on with Minho, that he suddenly kissed me out of the blue. If he had had a reason to do it, I didn't know what it was supposed to be.

‚You know..' He turned to me now, his eyes fierce and almost daring. ‚The first time I've kissed you, you wiped your mouth like crazy, as if you could wipe away the fact that I had kissed you at all. You remember? The time when I desperately -and the naive virgin that I was- ran after you, but all you had for me was a cold shoulder. And now.. when he kisses you.. you... you did nothing! Did you enjoy it that much? Did I become boring to you, do you want to kiss someone else for a change..?!' I could see how his eyes became more and more glassy, how tears emerged from the corners of his eyes. I had never seen him cry before and I sure never wanted to. It hurt me, seeing him like this. It was all because of me. Every tear that fell, fell because of me and it hurt so badly. I wanted to pull him close into my arms, but I doubted this would do anything good in that moment, he would just push me away again.. I would just hurt him more.

‚Hyunjin ..I' I had never wanted this. I had never wanted to kiss someone else but you. I love you. I wanted to say so much.. still I stood there frozen on the spot, able to say nothing of it.. my voice wasn't working. Stuck in my throat like a painful lump I couldn't swallow.

‚You should have said so...Han' He wasn't calling me by my name anymore..the one, only the persons that are closest to me use.. the one he had used, when he was close to me, when we shared the same breathing and beating heart. He was distancing himself even further like this and made sure I'd know. ‚..you should have said that you want to try someone else..he's offering himself quite visibly..' I don't want someone else. I don't want him! I want you! Only you.

‚But if what you give to me is what you give to others ... I don't want it.. you can keep it and give it to someone else.. give it to Minho not me..' He ripped himself free again, this time really leaving. I couldn't follow him.. I couldn't move at all. I could just watch.. watch him cry and then watch him leave. When my legs dared to give in I walked backwards until my back hit a wall, sliding to the ground. How was I supposed to fix that again. How was I supposed to convince him again.. convince him about my feelings. That he was the only one for me... that he was everything to me.

My phone in my pocket vibrated, I pulled it out, though I knew, there was no way it would be Hyunjin. The one I wanted it to be. The one I wanted back by my side.