Blind Love (Edited)

Chapter 5: Solitary Moment

Landon could hear the laughs downstairs. It was a shame that he couldn't be down there. He had chosen not to be down there with everyone else. He needed time, and besides he knew that there was no chance that the neighbors would accept him like he was. They wouldn't stop staring at him, and while he wouldn't be able to see them stare, he would feel it.  

His fear of not being accepted or treated differently was a lot stronger than his desire to meet new people and possibly make new friends. It was something that had been instilled in him. Everywhere he went, he had always been made fun of. They hadn't even given him a chance to show them how he truly was. There was nothing that made him more sad than that. He was being robbed of that chance to show everyone who he was just because he couldn't see. It didn't make him feel any better. In a few months, he was going to graduate and he wanted to go to college. What were the people at that college going to say about him? Were they going to give him a chance? Were they going to be his friend regardless of the loss of his sight? Were they going to see who he really was and who he could be? Were those people different than the ones here? All of these questions passed through his head at the same time, but he didn't want to think about them. It wasn't that he wouldn't find the answer that scared him...it was that maybe the answers were the same as when he once searched.

It was a little more than half past 8. He could still hear the voices downstairs. He knew that there was a girl down there. "What I would do to be able to see. What I would give to be able to be downstairs with my mom and my brother having a conversation with our new neighbors."

He got up from his bed and went over to his window. He touched around, looking for the bottom of the window and he lifted it up. As soon as oped the window, a gentle breeze caressed his cheek. At that moment he thought of his dad and looking up, he said, " Dad, where are you? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to leave me?"

There was so much pain in his voice. Landon missed his father more than he let on. It was true, he had been very young when his father had died, but he remebered him as clearly as if he would have had more time to spend with him. Landon remembered that his father always used to smell like wood. Every time that his father would approach him and lift him in his arms, the smell of wood would fill his nostrils. "Gosh, how I miss that smell !"

Suddenly, a memory from when his father had been alive played in his brain:

"Come here, Landon." 

Landon was two years old and his small feet ran quickly towards his father's arms. Landon's arms were outstretched a smile made of little white teeth. "Daddy, daddy !" he yelled.  

At the last moment, Landon jumped into his father's arms and he flew up into his father's chest. 

"There's my little boy." his father had said to him. Then his father took Landon with him outside. They sat on the swing bench that was in the front porch. Here a view of the lake and a few hundred ducks in the water greeted them. Landon's father had sighed, and Landon remembered looking up at his father. Sensing this, Landon's father, whose name was Liam, looked to meet the eyes of his youngest son. 

"Hey, buddy." he whispered, "What are you thinking about huh?" 

Landon pointed towards the lake. Liam had looked up and then a smile crossed his features. "Yeah," he said. "It's a lake. It's beautiful. And it gives life to they many bacteria and the fish that live there." 

Landon couldn't understand , but he lifted his hand to touch his father's. Liam took hold of his son's hand and hugged him close to his chest. 

"I love you, son. Don't you ever forget that. I know you're still just a baby, that you probably don't understand what I'm saying but every word that comes out of my mouth is true. You, your brother and your mother are everything for me. You guys are my life, everything that makes this life worth it. I know that sometimes I'm not always here with you but I never once stop thinking about you. You're my strength, that one thing that makes me know that everything's going to be okay. You and your mother and brother are my life. Without you, I would be nothing. And I know that right now, you don't understand but I want you to know that I love you more than life itself and that I'm extrememly proud of you. If you ever need anything, I'll always be here. Whenever you need me, I'll be there, I'll be there every step of the way. When you need help, all you have to do is ask. I won't let you down because I know that you wouldn't let me down either, so here I am. I promise you that whenever you need me I'll be there. I won't ever leave you alone. You can trust that whatever I'm saying is the truth. I care too much for all of you to ever leave you. I just want you to know that." 

At the end of that, Liam looked down at his son and Landon had the look of understanding in his eyes. Liam could never explain it but he was glad that Landon had understood what he was saying.

"If that was true, why did you die, Dad?" 

All of a sudden, anger filled his insides, all of his soul. Subconsciously, his fists clenched tightly and he held his breath without noticing. But then he remembered the words that his father had told him: I promise that whenever you need me, I'll be there.

Landon turned to sit back on his bed and he thought about that statement. "Was it true? Did that mean that my dad is with me right now? Does this mean he's been with me since the accident?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance decided to go upstairs to see his brother after the neighbors leave. He had nothing else to do but sit there and listen to the conversation at the table. He had to admit, it was a little fun, but it wasn't the same without Landon. The daughter of the neighbors was pretty. She had grayish-green eyes with a hint of gold. Her brown curly hair stopped a few inches below her shoulders. Whenever she smiled, it revealed two dimples in her cheeks, one on either cheek. A smile had always been on her face the whole time, but the more he studied her, the more he began to think that her mind was somewhere else. She was pretty attractive, but he knew that she wasn't his type. He was going to tell Landon all about the night. He couldn't wait.

"So how'd it go?" Landon asked as soon as he heard the door open. 

"It went okay. Nothing special. The neighbors have a daughter. I'm pretty sure that she's your age." Lance replied.  

"What does that have to do with anything? That doesn't mean anything?" 

"You have to have a little hope." Lance replied, his heart breaking a little with the words that his younger brother had just said. 

"I don't think I can have hope. I'm blind, Lance. She's not going to be interested in me."  

"You don't know that. You can't really know. Maybe someday when she comes around, I'll introduce you to her." 

"Lance, I know you're trying to help, but it's not going to work. Look I'm blind and that's never going to change. There's nothing anyone can do for me. I know that your intentions are good, that you want to help your brother but it's not going to work this time--or for any other time. There was a time when I had hope that maybe there were some girls that weren't like all the others. There was a time but each time I met a girl, the first thing they saw was my blindness. Never once did they take the time to actually get to know me, not even the guys. They think they're better than me because they can actually see. I mean, what does that have to do with anything? Sometimes I get pissed off, because I think, 'Why did this happen to me?' 'Why do I have to go through all of this?' But then I realize that I have something other people don't have: the ability to use my other senses. My hearing, my smell and my touch are all better than my sight. I can actually tell when a person has a good personality....I can smell a liar from miles away. I know I sound like I'm being vain and whatnot, but I have to think about the positive things about my situation, right?" 

Lance had teared up a little at the words of his brother. But the last part of his explanation had made him laugh. "It's true, Landon. You do have to find some good in the situation. But I advise you not to lose hope. I assure you that there is some girl out there that will come along and give you a chance. And believe it or not, she will fall in love....she will love you as much as you'll love her." 

Landon smiled. His brother always knew what to say. "Thanks Lance. I know that sometimes I get so pessimistic, but it's the situation. At least I know that I have you on my side." 

"Of course, I'm on your side. You're my younger brother. And now you have to go to sleep, because it's late." 

"Oh come on," Landon complained, "it's only ten o'clock." 

"Uh huh sure. Don't play with me. Go to sleep. You need to rest." 

Landon groaned out load to show his resignation. He entered the bathroom, and he brushed his teeth. He came out of the bathroom, and he got into bed. He knew that Lance was still in the room, making sure that Landon didn't bump into anything. 

"Good night, Lance." 

"Good night, kiddo. And trust me, you are going to find someone." 

"Uh huh." 

Lance closed the door and the smile that had once been on Landon's face, disappeared. His smile turned into a frown, and he whispered,"I hope so," into his pillow. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.